Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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@Jennkryst said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
It’s more a question of WHAT ELSE.
In my experience the answer is, what we professionals call, fucking everything.
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@Pavel Well, yeah.
Mummy Pun? MUMMY PUN!
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@Jennkryst Oh, if you want the answer to that… it’s probably your parents.
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@WhiteRaven said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
I know that I don’t deserve any explanations or think that I’m entitled to know what happened or why.
Don’t you? I mean, naturally we all talk about how we all don’t owe random RP acquaintances explanations for everything, like not wanting to RP with someone or talk to them. But there’s a difference between random people on a game you barely know, and someone you’ve been friends with for eight years.
As others have said, there could be any number of reasons for it, and I don’t know the particulars of your situation. But I think it’s also okay to acknowledge that, even if something was accidental, or not intended, that it can also have been hurtful and unkind. I at least don’t live in a world where a friend of eight years doesn’t deserve any sort of word of explanation when the other friend disappears. (With the usual caveats, yes, if someone is abusive/toxic/unhealthy/etc., you do what you need to get out of a bad situation.)
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@WhiteRaven There is, of course, a possibility that has nothing to do with you in any way. You did nothing wrong. You aren’t being ghosted. Things happen to people. It’s entirely possible they are unable to contact you due to various reason that don’t really need to be elaborated on.
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You know, fuck scammers man.
Here I am trying to look for a new job because they announced layoffs at my company, and I get an e-mail about setting up an interview. Talk to someone, have a lengthy back and forth and then the more I dig and look into it after the fact, the more and more certain I am of it being a scam. Hitting all the notes from some other anecdotes I’ve found online and its like…
It’s fuckin bad enough dealing with our shit ass capitalist system
If you are just trying to scam people looking for opportunities, you’re a sleazebag POS and need to be yeeted straight into the sun.
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So, in the last 5-6 weeks:
Part of a neighbor’s tree (I live in the PNW and this is one of those giant trees that predate the 20th Century) fell on my house and ripped out the power conduits, part of the siding, and effectively destroyed our yard and fence. Insurance covered most of it (minus deductible) but the extent of this means we have to deal with paper checks while we had to basically shell out close to 20 grand out-of-pocket. Paper checks that have to be slow-boat endorsed and mailed by the mortgage company (who are a bunch of fucking Draculas who bought our mortgage from the original lender).
The same people who can magically accept payments from us electronically have to employ some shithead in a mail room to physically scan the check and can only mail it back to us standard mail.
That doesn’t include all the additional yard work needed in the wake of that mess. Add some family medical emergencies to this and a couple work vacancies that I have to fill in for and all I can say is:
Just slow the fuck down. Please.
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I wrote out this whole long multi-paragraph thing and then decided not to post it. I just want to say that I’m struggling a lot lately. Nothing game related. Nothing forum related. Just in my own head space and dealing with things that linger in the dark there.
I’m just venting this to the void and I’m completely safe IRL and everything. I just can’t seem to shake the place I’m currently in. Nothing is even really wrong in my life, other than apparently my brain chemistry and perception of it.
Anyways, I’m sure it will pass, but I don’t know. I feel I had to put it down in print some where. If that makes sense. I guess.
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@RightMeow said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
Anyways, I’m sure it will pass, but I don’t know.
It will. Good times, bad times, whatever times, it’ll all pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it’ll pass.
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@RightMeow said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
I wrote out this whole long multi-paragraph thing and then decided not to post it. I just want to say that I’m struggling a lot lately. Nothing game related. Nothing forum related. Just in my own head space and dealing with things that linger in the dark there.
I’m just venting this to the void and I’m completely safe IRL and everything. I just can’t seem to shake the place I’m currently in. Nothing is even really wrong in my life, other than apparently my brain chemistry and perception of it.
Anyways, I’m sure it will pass, but I don’t know. I feel I had to put it down in print some where. If that makes sense. I guess.
I feel you.
My RL is so crazy right now that I broke down sobbing because I accidentally dropped the 1/3rd remainder of my nephew’s birthdate cake on the floor.
(It wasn’t even my fault, it was the fault of whoever got cake last, they didn’t actually close the box, so it collapsed in my hands and went splat.)
I feel silly for crying now, but in the moment it was literally the end of the world.
It’ll get better for both of us, we just gotta wait it out.
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@Cobalt totally not silly to cry about something like that!
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I feel this, but lately I just cry. For no reason. Which is a little concerning to me because I’m not really a crier.
My job? No longer toxic and is probably supportive.
My personal life? Fine.
My finances? Okay, other than I need to stay off of Amazon.
My MU life? No drama. No time for RP it feels like, but there is no drama or exclusion, etc when I’m available.
My forum life? No drama. I mis-read something, but I didn’t have a full emotional response and I don’t think anyone is gunning for me. Or they are doing it so well I don’t see it. So no drama.However, I’ll just cry and feel miserable for no reason behind it. I’m not in harm place or anything. I’m just not… me? You know. So I get it. I do.
Maybe we just need to have a cry it out party. We’ll eat cookies and cry.
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Months of asking my doctor if she had reviewed my X-rays only for her to tell me at my appointment “oh yeah, guess I didn’t send you anything, you need an MRI”. And the MRI is scheduled next day -.-
We could have done this MONTHS ok.
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My blood boils every time I see someone selling kittens on Nextdoor. BOILS.
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Sorry for two posts in a row:
We meet with our certification on the 11th for the first time to begin the home study process to foster. The home study is the last step in our 2 year process to become foster parents.
I’m so nervous that she will take an instant dislike to us I feel almost physically sick. And also overwhelmed because now I keep seeing every flaw in our home and going “That will be why we get denied. Yup. There is a visible crack where the flooring wasn’t cut perfectly and so you can see an 1/8 of an inch under the molding. I need to go buy a caulking gun and colored caulk to fill that in even though I know logically I will never need a caulking gun again.”
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@junipersky Wishing you all of the luck/good vibes! I’m sure you’d be an amazing foster parent
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If you have interacted with me at all for any sort of time, you know I’m an overthinker. Part of that is I will never think the praise is about me, but I’ll think everything negative is. Yeah, yeah. I know.
Onwards.
Positive toxicity.
I’m fucking optimistic. I have been all my RL and people have accused me of being fake. I’ve had to alter who I am at my core for my friends IRL (they are not actually my friends currently) to not be so positive. I’ve been told to shut up when I am being authentically who I am.
I tend to end posts here about being kind to each other. Not to dismiss others because I’m also (I thought) pretty supportive of what people feel. You feel your feels. Your feels are valid. It’s just I have been in such a dark place after run-ins with people (DownWithOPP/Ruiz/etc) and the fall out from all of that – it’s almost like hey just a quick reminder to breathe.
Soooo… now I’m confused and this confusion is stupidly effecting me RL.
What is the line between just being an optimist with ADHD (which probably means I’m hyper happy) and being toxic?
Should I not post? Should I not say uplifting things? Should I not point out good points? I’m genuinely confused and not sure, but it is never my intent to harm. I’m just who I am and maybe that’s a bad thing?
Anyways - I don’t think the original vent was at me as I don’t think I interact with the person, but it’s caused me to be curious.
Also, this is a genuine ask, not a tell me I’m great or anything. Where it the line? What do you alter? If you are a RL optimist at what point of alteration for others do you then become unauthentic?
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@RightMeow I can only answer for me, but my understanding of the boundary between optimism and toxic positivity is that the latter is used to shut down or dismiss other people’s legitimate reactions or emotions. It’s not toxic positivity to want people to get along and be kind to each other. It’s toxic positivity to tell someone not to talk about something abusive someone did because “this is a happy place” or “it would ruin the mood”.
I genuinely think we could all use a bit more optimism and a little less petty needling at each other, so I don’t think you should feel bad about wanting that. It’s just a matter of reading the room and recognizing that sometimes people need to talk about things that aren’t positive, and it’s okay for them to do that.
