Our first foster child is arriving any minute.

13 hours in. No one has died and/or cried yet. So this is good. She is safe at school and all is fine.

Why I didn’t RP tonight:

If some internet person changes and doesn’t do the problematic shit so well that I can’t tell they are the same person, then congrats, I’ll never know.

I have so many positive feels about Norwood’s end. I’m really happy now it wasn’t RPed out, because I’m not sure it could have been done as gracefully as the action result came out.

Norwood was such a big part of my soul that even after I came to admit I didn’t have room to actively RP any more, I couldn’t let him go. I would sign on every few days to check on him.

Everyone who was involved gets .

May I share my foster kittens with y’all here? Even if I can never find here because it doesn’t show up on Google Results. (I have it bookmarked finally.)

My foster fail Calypso is a HUGE cuddle bug. She loves to cuddle up with other cats.

My senior baby Kiva is not a cuddler, but she doesn’t mind Calypso much, and basically raised her.

So they’ve come to a compromise. Calypso is allowed to lay NEAR Kiva and Kiva will not complain. Calypso tests this sometimes to see how much cuddling she can get away with. Today it was being curled into Kiva’s tail with one Calypso aw on Kiva’s butt. It makes my heart melt.

He sees more ghosts.

Yeah - Until the very end they had me CONVINCED I was the bad person in the interactions. I fell over myself apologizing for hurting them and making them uncomfortable. It wasn’t until I found myself sobbing with my laptop on my lap at the top of a staircase that I finally realized - this wasn’t okay. It WASN’T ooc personal my female alt didn’t like their PC. It WASN’T my fault I didn’t want to RP some things. All of those were perfectly good boundaries and I was being emotionally manipulated by someone who knew exactly what to say and when to say it.

Now, do I think the person behind the screen is some kind of cartoon villain twirling their mustache, petting a white cat, and itching to press the destroy button? Nah. I think they found a way of behaving that typically results in them getting attention (often it doesn’t matter if it is positive or negative) and so they repeat the behavior because it fills a need.

If they are reading this, I hope they know that it is possible to get attention for doing the right things. This doesn’t have to be your entire internet legacy.

Tiny asshole kitten Benjamin Sisko was wrapped around my leg chewing and clawing.

I got tired of it, and now only 60 seconds later, he is asleep with his head supported by my palm.

My revenge will be letting one of the insane other six pounce him once they realize he zzzzed out.

@sao No, they won’t be final. But the general rule of thumb is that VISITS stop as soon as termination goes through, even with appeals to come. (The bio-mom rants on FB about appealing constantly). The pause will give the girls time in therapy and stable homes to keep processing their trauma and building skills. If appeals restart visits then they will just be that much stronger to face them.

I’m really proud of oldest sister. Shit went down again Monday with mom. She had decided to come back to the visits upon deciding that staying mad at mom for not believing her about her assault wasn’t helping her heal. Mom decided to be a prat and badger her and kiddo about why they hadn’t done calls with grandmother the previous night. When the girls both told bio-mom they didn’t walk to talk about it she got sarcastic-angry. Sister walked out of visit, had some hysterics, then told the supervisor and her foster mom what upset her. Mom got told to knock it off or visit would end, then sister went back in and finished the visit. She STOOD UP for herself.

We had a huge set-back in the case. Back in April they had a week of trial to terminate rights, and didn’t finish because the father’s lawyer objected so much. They scheduled two more days, and those happened this week. We were SURE it would wrap up but…

1. Father’s lawyer’s witness arrived late and so they were delayed starting.
2. The father’s lawyer didn’t issue a subpoena to his witness, so when she said “Wlep, it is 1, I have to go,” they couldn’t compell her to stay. The county didn’t get a chance to cross the witness.

Because of 1 and 2, the county objected and said fhay if they didn’t get to cross her whole testimony should be tossed. The judge, professionally pissed, agreed to add another day.

In July.

Our hopes that this would end this summer are officially squashed because they will need to also allow time for closing arguments (they are having them written and submitted to the judge.)

Mom also fucked up big time this week. During their visit she pulled older sister aside and asked if she was SURE their father had touched her. Older sister went into hysterics and only calmed down once her foster mom was there. They ended the visit.

All the kids have been given the power now to say if they want to go to visit or not. It just needs to be recorded. Eldest sister’s GAL is also submitting a motion for visits to end for her, but the other two GALs won’t be.

Kiddo has been missing her siblings badly, so I conspired with older sister’s foster mom and we suprised them both with a sleepover. Her foster mom passed me a bag, then I picked older sister up from camp (she was sssoooo confused it was me and not her foster mom) and told her she was getting a sleepover, and then we were waiting for kiddo when she came home from camp. She got really excited and chattered all the way back to our place with her happiness over seeing V because (see non happy thread in a bit.)

We locked the front door and lied that the garage door was broken so they had to come around to the front. Thus when kiddo knocked to be let in older sister opened the door and all nonchalant went “Oh? Do you live here? So do I for the night!” Kiddo almost lost her mind with excitement.

It makes me happy coming here and seeing all the posts and comments from people who have things to be grateful for. I may not be a huge part of the community any more because I have to focus on my foster daughter, but I still all of you.

So the trial… isn’t over. They ran out of time and so scheduled an additional two days in June. We aren’t very happy about the 60 extra days the defense gets but bio parents haven’t made much movement in the last 24 months, so what can legit happen in 60 days? That is eight more visits with the kids apiece.

Kiddo didn’t go to visit this last week because she had a fever - and she has been amazing. We are babying her a lot, but she is still getting upset about stuff then COMING BACK to regulation without losing her mind. Our only big battle was getting her back into her own bed from the nest wr made her on the floor next to ours.

Child’s parents are having their termination of rights trial this week. On the advise of all of the professionals husband and I did not go. Our kiddo is the most emotionally affected and we want to be present for her - and also not hear/see the garbage/evidence put up and have it impact our opinions on things. (We know that the parents are going to try to paint the kids as liars who just made up stories during the forensic interviews, and that the county is putting up poster sized images of what kiddo has drawn in her journals.)

But hearing NOTHING is driving me beyond madness. Especially since child is home sick with a fever I’m 95% sure is nerves. (She wants to go home to mom and dad but also can’t argue that she feels safe and loved with us and doesn’t want to leave us either.)

Some of my students are scared. A LOT of my foster family friends are scared. My caseworker is stressed AF. The county has 54 foster families, and some of those are undocumented because they are kindship placements. Losing them would rock the system - oh, and they’re facing budget cuts.

I know it is hard and I respect people wanting privacy so much.

Kid walks in this morning crying. His father died over break, like, early break. It is true. Teacher is blindsided and has no idea what kind of supports are needed.

@KarmaBum
This is insane.

@helvetica

I loved being an adult parent to adult children. Multiple people played Adalyn to Norwood and I enjoyed them all.