It really, really sucks feeling like it might be time to let go of something that’s been with you for a very long time.

Congrats, everyone! We have people joining just to toss around ambiguous JAQs and comments about echo chambers without making any concrete or direct refutes to the actual accusations, which means we’ve officially arrived as a MU* forum.

Meta peeve because it’s more about the forum, but.

Being snarky on ad posts. Just, man. It’s usually the first time people are putting something out there. It really doesn’t do the community any favors – especially with the constant worries about the hobby dying – to put out an immediate response of snark.

@Tez is basically my platonic life partner and is SO cognizant and concerned about being as fair an authority as she can, and protecting people who need protecting

@sao can invent a character out of THIN AIR in the space of a SNEEZE and they will be so vibrant and alive and real in just an instant

have you ever seen @Meg theorize about how a plot is going to go? she has a MAGIC ABILITY to either come up with the accurate answer, or something even more fantastic.

@deadscribe’s RP is ridiculously evocative and he is a chill motherfucker

@Third-Eye is one of the people that i use as a, like. chill barometer. she is more capable than most at healthily disengaging from bad vibes and bad folks. if you rile her up, i will raise my eyebrows

Eit is not here but you will never, EVER mistake her writing style for anyone else in the world.

@farfalla has such a strong sense of internal fairness and justice and does such good work trying to actively keep herself accountable, which is the hardest thing to do

@glitch quietly works in the background to do SO MUCH to support the community. he doesn’t like being perceived. but i see u

@Narson is a ridiculous motherfucker but good lord is he also a delight

@Pyrephox is such a vivid and specific RPer, and so consistently safe in her IC and OOC separation. that is the case for EVERY incarnation of hers, but i will forever treasure the specific delight of one particular RP friendship that was so rich

i hope @Rathenhope never stops making the jokes he makes because holy shit. playing himbos together is A+++

@hellfrog deserves more credit than she ever gets for all that she did to build Arx, its theme, and most especially its culture into what it is today

@Apos deserves so much credit for the amount of work and the depth of world-building he has done for Arx over the years

@ham is another who is consistently interesting and specific in his RP, but who i will always treasure a very particular PC connection we got to explore. it is rare to find people that you can safely RP through something ICly messy, unhealthy, and even a bit toxic, but i always felt safe playing that with you

@tsar is so conscientious about her positions, and such a warm and generous RP partner. whenever i’ve needed a sounding board, she’s always been a voice of reason

@Tat did something honestly remarkable in the design, build, and reinvention of the magic system of Spirit Lake

i cannot even remember the last time @Yam and i got to rp but she is honestly motherfucking hilarious and i love her even though she drinks crunchy milk

Tehom is also not here but, i mean. guys. the arx codebase. and the fact that he put in the time and work to make it accessible to others.

i miss playing faith family of that specific era with @Snackness but i’m so delighted whenever we get to play again

@Tori has built numerous guides and helpers for Arx stuff, specifically all her crafting work, that has helped a TON of people

@IoleRae is so open about mistakes and learning from them in a way that takes so much courage. we have managed to have big scuffles on MSB and come out on the other side

i want @Herja to drop meteors on me every day of the week. i want the richness of her trauma. but also, when one storyline hit too deep and too close to something difficult, she was so kind and generous about working around it

i don’t know if most arx folks have noticed the number of code contributions @dvoraen has made to arx, but i have

@crawfish draws the best fkn cats you guys. i am so excited for my tarot deck. and i’m so excited that she found the perfect audience for her art and seems to be enjoying it so much

@mietze is such a kind and warm RP partner, and i’m really excited to be exploring such an interesting character dynamic with her again!!

@helvetica is just. man. life goals amount of attitude. one of the most remarkable things i’ve seen her do is just – recognize when a situation was no good for her and walked away.

@Mosephine has DEADLY ACCURACY in her detective skills and everyone should fear her

@Dreampipe introduced me to NOBLMAN, SWERV and he will die a hero for that

i once saw @kalakh face an IC situation that could very well have been the end of her character, and she chose to move forward ICly because it was what was true to her character. it was so great, and not everyone has the guts to fully own that

@moth flits in and out of my RP circles just like their username suggests and it is always SO EXCITING when it happens. we got to play one of my favorite character friendships

@MarsGrad and i have gotten to write some pretty delightful character pairings and is always open to talking stuff out

@Faraday just deserves a ridiculous amount of credit for Ares. and not just the huge amount of work, but i have such respect for her having a clear vision and intention from the start and staying true to it.

i legitimately have no idea who @pisscat is, i just know that every couple months i’d have a flood of upvotes as they clearly caught up on MSB posts, and it always warms my heart

@Tchotchke said in Liberation MUSH:

I’m not going to kid myself into expecting change, but I can hope.

Don’t. Like – this thread has pages of shittery, the MSB had way more pages of shittery. After pages and pages of shittery, you’re just fooling yourself. Just stop playing. These things don’t change.

#StopPlayingOnGamesWithShittyStaff2023

@Testament said in Bannings:

Banning someone on a game is kind of a, well, it’s not all that effective. Or I guess, it’s effective, to a point. Unless you want to get into IP banning, and even that can be mitigated if you’re really determined and/or feel like paying the money for a NordVPN.

Thinking about it, and how I view it, if someone was banned for really shitty behavior and then they eventually sneak back on unnoticed by any and all who they might’ve wronged. It tells me one of two things.

Either A, they’re sociopath who lacks social skills to realize they aren’t wanted and simply doesn’t care. In this case, their behavior will eventually show up and they’ll be caught, banned, rinse/repeat. See; Cullen, DWOPP, etc etc.

Or B, they realize the error of what they were doing wrong, did some kind of self-evaluation and changed their behavior. In light of B, that doesn’t make them coming back to the game right, but unless you get really draconian about tracking people, it’s just something that most games have to deal with.

Bans – especially public bans – do have an additional value to a game or community beyond the immediate “get rid of the person doing the bad thing.”

They also make a public show of what a community will or won’t tolerate. They provide evidence to regular players of what behaviors won’t fly, which helps make it easier and safer for players to report bad behavior – which, as we all know, is always an ongoing struggle.

Bans aren’t technologically foolproof, and we all know that. But their value to a community, I’d say, goes far beyond that.

Man, so. My serious of thoughts rattling around in no particular order.

MSB staff can share whatever they want of their justification for my continued ban. I don’t care.

–

BMD is not a protest of MSB. Nor was it made in response to the Hogpit on MSB being renamed and having a new Code of Conduct issued for the site. BMD was made before that happened. It was made because a bunch of folks were banned and a bunch of other folks lost confidence in MSB moderation, so they made a new community. At most you could call it a vote of no confidence in MSB. But the repeated idea that a bunch of people were just mad at MSB saying everyone has to be nicer, that all these people just wanted the ability to be cruel and so they left, is bullshit. The timeline doesn’t hold up. People left because…

–

The social contract between administration and a large portion of the active userbase was broken. Pretty much every other time I can recall an MSB staffer asking folks to chill out, move threads, take a breath, etc., it’s been respected. Or if it hasn’t been, people haven’t been affronted at seeing others get warnings. So why was this instance different? The popular answer I see trotted out on MSB is that it was all about Derp’s appointment, that people couldn’t stop arguing about Derp. Except, if you go back and reread the actual thread, that’s not what happened. Sure, some people were making quiet exits, because they didn’t trust Derp in an administrative capacity. But the reason people started getting vocally angry was one single ban that appeared to be entirely without merit. Two users had what could at most be called a tiff over DMs, they yelled some Last Words at each other over their shoulders, and then one side – the one who opened and continually extended the conversation – decided to report this under the guise that it was some sort of harassment. So you had someone who, at most, got a bit snarky in their exit, now being presented as someone guilty of actual harassment, and the community takes harassment pretty seriously. A number of people, myself included, had access to the log of the conversation, and found it a wildly out of touch response on the part of staff. And, when frustrations were voiced, staff doubled down.

There’s a social contract in every community, and when one side is seen to break it, it has a destructive effect on the community at large. That is why you saw such a strong reaction from a lot of posters who have never caused issues before and who only engage in debate rarely on the board. (I’m not talking about me here, as I know I’m argumentative, but people like tsar, Third Eye, etc.) If you lose the confidence of your userbase as a staffer, if you are no longer trusted to treat people fairly, then it is no surprise when your requests for silence aren’t respected. When people are angry about staff misconduct, then requests to not speak about the staff misconduct will be taken as silencing tactics.

That is what happened.

Had that first ban not occurred, I do think you would have seen some people leaving MSB due to not trusting Derp in an administrative position, but I don’t think it would have shaken out the same way.

–

People who don’t even know Mietze, who aren’t even friends with her, should stop using her name as some sort of tool or proof or justification. Her name isn’t a weapon for you to wield, and it makes it very clear you have no idea what’s going on there.

–

It is very, very clear that the decisions of who to unban were not based in any reasonable justification. The reasoning for not sharing anything about why some people were unbanned while others weren’t – and no, a general “we made reasons based on things” is not a reason – is thin enough to be transparent. If Derp had shit on me, he’d share it. There’s been talk at other times about keeping out the “line-pushers” now that MSB has a new Code of Conduct, except you can’t possibly make that argument for the vast majority of those who remain banned.

–

The fact that MSB staff openly asked people what they could do better and then disparaged the responses before eventually splitting the thread (fine, makes sense) and locking it (not fine) just makes a public declaration that offering criticism of MSB staff is unwelcome and will be treated with hostility. If you actually want to engender trust, you are doing the opposite.

–

You have not managed to cultivate some safe, polite atmosphere. There’s open snark over there, most particularly from the mods. Some of the people talking about how safe they feel now do so because the people who will call out others when they do shitty, creepy things are now gone. VulgarKitten changed her username to Hella and slipped right back on the board. She had previously disappeared after it came to light how she had been lying about her identity on Arx for months, manipulating others, and engaging in romantic and sexual RP with players who had NCOs against her. The safety she praises you all for now is the safety of a predator who knows that a lot of the people who would publicly point out their egregious behavior are now gone, so she can pretend everything’s fine and slip back in (to eventually do it again).

–

Refusing to talk about any of the offending DMs of the banned parties, but then sharing a random anonymous DM talking about not liking three people speaking up, and then acting like it’s not about the three people who had been talking critically about MSB that night is – wow. Hugely manipulative.

Moreover, as indicated in the above point, the people who might feel safer are those who would prefer an environment where they are not held accountable for their actions. This isn’t actually a healthy environment. It is a pretense at civility. It’s surface deep.

–

Also, if you’re going to hold the position that you “can’t speak to” the idea that Derp is bad at “women’s issues” because you yourself are a man, maybe you should listen to the numerous women who have said it? Maybe?

–

Finally, good lord, if you are going to repeatedly harp on the necessity of irrefutable evidence and the ability of people to doctor logs, you cannot also then be confused as to why ANYONE would EVER hesitate to report ANYTHING to staff, Jesus Christ, please use a modicum of logic.

–

Okay. That’s it. I am done. I have just had all these thoughts writhing around in my brain since last night.

Even if I want to yell at someone about how they’re being a total shitty asshole, I want to yell at them with the right pronouns.

The one person who actually seems to have been emboldened to speak due to the absence of many of the banned users – is someone who was called out on the boards for their gross lies and manipulations that got them banned from a game, who declared she was never logging into MSB again and was probably leaving the hobby forever, who then rolled back when it was “safe,” changed her username, and acted as if everything was normal.

@Serafine said in Neitherlands:

@DrQuinn The discussion of someone’s potential real life health concerns in favor of validating the demands of people who have no right to ask such a thing is, generally, considered to be in poor taste.

In other words, this craven entitlement you have going on can sod off.

Which is to say, you can fuck off and wait until I have time to post an image instead of tending to real life.

No one is asking for this person’s medical information. They’re asking if the words you wrote were purposefully meant to imply that this person blamed a player for their medical issues, especially in a public way.

If this isn’t what you meant to imply with whatever you wrote, I’d suggest maybe you stop writing in strangely complex metaphor, because it’s making everything you say incredibly opaque and confusing.

@Pink said in Concordia Thread:

I feel like it’s a trend with new Ares games.

This isn’t an Ares game trend; it’s an Every MU Ever trend (in my experience). New games open, there’s a big rush, and then it settles down. I think we may just see it happen more visibly nowadays because the technical barrier is a lot lower when we have resources like Ares that make the setup a bit easier for less technical folk.

@Vulgar-Boy said in MU Peeves Thread:

That’s why you need to convince as many people as possible before the GM makes their ruling. Then it’s too late and everyone thinks such and such are basically Vikings, even after multiple posts get made saying that they aren’t. You can gaslight an entire theme if you work hard enough and believe in yourself!

I see you’ve played on Arx.

ETA: Except people would usually skip requesting theme info and jump straight to the gaslighting of their fellow players.

I often end up waiting a round or two to pose in to a group scene like that specifically to avoid the feeling of everyone magically arriving at the same time. Idk I just like to stagger it a lil bit.

I FORTUNATELY got warned about that one and avoided it. I definitely would have been heartbroken.

@Solstice said in Baldur’s Gate 3:

@Roz

Spoiler

Definitely not ruling it out. On a heavily intricate game like this, I suppose it’s hard to say that we had the same experience.

At least for me, by the time we reached Cazador, it took me dragging him by the heels to not murder the 7000 folks assembled there, betray the party, or leave. If your experience was a different one, still more kudos to Larian, but I assumed from the articles I’d read online that this was a common thing and a reason to avoid bringing him to his own quest resolution.

So yeah. Maybe I missed the approval cutoff for the more sympathetic reactions.

Edit: Really seems like you need to be romancing him for much of this to surface, which feels a missed opportunity.

(Also, uh, spoilers being weird for anyone on this post? Clicking my own spoiler is expanding Roz’s.)

Lol yeah I can’t see your spoilers But FWIW, I didn’t romance him my first playthrough, but I still felt like I saw a lot of growth from him from our friendship.

@Solstice said in Baldur’s Gate 3:

@Roz

On Astarion:

Spoiler

I think they either really bungled his chances to grow throughout much of the game, not limited to the epilogue - or they made his lack of growth a calculated choice. I’m leaning to the latter.

As he’s currently characterized: Rip the fangs out of that boy’s head and he’s stripped down to an indignant complainy nobleman who gets angry if you help the peasants and has to be dragged kicking and screaming to not commit murder on a mass scale, including the children he lured to their deaths. And sulks about that extensively before grudgingly admitting it was a good thing.

Honestly, him zipping offstage to the sunlight equivalent of yakkety sax as his ‘good ending’ is about the best the person he was could hope for. He can go spend a century or two finding redemption in the Underdark! Popular spot for it.

We could not fix him - and I do suspect that’s the point.

So given all that, I was all about it.

Yeah, idk if I just made different choices? But he definitely grew a whole lot in the playthrough I did.

Spoiler

@Aria said in Baldur’s Gate 3:

I had actually solved the puzzle to get the thing to prevent the consequence, but was unable to pass the stupid checks to get into the room with the quest-reward. Like, every single one of my companions failed even after I hauled my ass to the other end of the monastery so I’d be able to go to camp and swap people out.

Fun fact about that check:

Spoiler

@Solstice said in Baldur's Gate 3:

Astarion’s epilogue scene

Spoiler

If you didn’t let him become an evil mega-vampire had me in stitches. Everyone else getting the character moments and Astarion just shrieking in the sunlight and skittering off to find shade. “IT WAS NICE WHILE IT LASTED!”

Perfect. Utterly.

Ugh, I actually HATED that.

Spoiler

Guys, the actual worst is Wyll, on account of being boring. That’s the actual greatest crime an NPC can commit. NPCs being assholes to me? I love it! NPCs being dull? Ugh stay in camp forever.

Is that blood? No, nevermind.

@Tez said in Concordia Thread:

@Pavel O ok, ty. I didn’t catch it live.

FWIW I disagree with @Pavel, I thought it was Rough and Rowdy play.