@Rucket

My son told me the hairstyle he got at the barber is called the Merman Cut. I told him he looks awesome. Meanwhile, all I can hear in my head:

@sao Thank YOU for your work and the difference your dedication made. We are so grateful for the good members of our team who helped us through the process.

I’m not going to lie and act like it’s been easy or that we’ve gotten everything right alone the way. It’s been lots of laughter combined with a lot of frustration and even more apologies as my husband and I were learning. When you step back and think about what THEY’RE dealing with though it makes it easier to keep trying.

I can honestly say my kids are my heroes. They have been given every reason to be bitter and closed off to the world, but they are the kindest humans (kid or adult) and have such big hopes.

I miss this thread (even though it’s only been a couple months) and wanted to share a positive moment and hopefully read others too.

Our youngest kiddo has started communicating better and working on not yelling/cursing/fighting when they get mad.

When we praised them for this and asked what brought on this determination they answered, “I am not scared I’ll have to leave anymore. I know this is my home and I want to be happy.”

We are their 10th home. Our kids (biological siblings) moved into our home a few years ago as a foster placement. The adoption has been finalized over a year now. They have each had their own struggles and victories. I know our journey will continue to have highs and lows. Today though? Is a definite high.

@hellfrog

@Kestrel I’m sorry you’re going through that as well.

As someone who tries to see the best in people and also recovering people pleaser, I’ve been in this situation on MUSH and IRL several times and it hurts just as bad each time. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself feel angry. In my opinion, don’t let it make you regret acting with a genuine good heart though.

You tried to help. There is nothing wrong with that. They hurt you and took advantage of that kindness. Whether intentionally or not, or malicious or not. It doesn’t change the reality of your pain. In my case I still think most (not all) of the people I encountered this with were genuinely hurting people who were struggling on their own path of healing. It doesn’t make their actions any less hurtful, but I can genuinely say I’m at a point in my life now where I either wish them happiness (for those clearly hurting) or am apathetic (for those who were just awful people).

It helps to see if there’s a pattern of that behavior though that it isn’t personal towards me. It still takes awhile to move past though and leaves a lasting hesitancy to let yourself reach out to others in the same way moving forward.

You say ‘all these years’ and it’s easy to focus on how long you let yourself be fooled. Instead, look at how many future years you saved yourself from continuing the same toxic pattern. I’m proud of you and you should find a way to self care because you deserve it.

@helvetica I’m gutted!

I love good plot. Whether that’s good stuff happening, bad stuff happening, or whatever. I’ve written the death of a character I’d played for years and loved the bittersweet send off in the process. I’ve had characters suffer life changing events and played that out too.

My main requirement now, after some negative moments of learning, is that any events are discussed and I trust the other player if they are going to be running the events. This might count as having control so I can change my vote, but I just meant I don’t specifically have to be STing the event or writing out the leadup to the negative stuff itself.

‘Losing’ in a scene/plot/event (whether that’s a bad dice roll or events) can be some of the best character/player interaction to be had in my experience.

ugh, I’m sorry you had to deal with this. This is an awful, unnecessary, and annoying thing. How on earth is a brain tumor funny in any sense?

Yeah this is why (aside from maybe a couple friends) I no longer trust anyone when they say “I have an awesome idea, but I want it to be a surprise.” Even if I don’t think the person would pull anything like that it just gives me anxiety.

I do think any struggle can be approached with a defiant humor, but that’s the decision of the people experiencing it. We named my husband’s tumor ‘Tina Tumor’ and when we found out it was gone we went out with our friends and my toast was a very bad Arnold impersonation.

@RightMeow THAT’S why I space out randomly! You’re using our shared brain. It all makes sense.

@RightMeow Yeah I wasn’t even personally offended by that aspect because I knew they didn’t know, but when I tried to distance myself and they reacted with aggression I went to ‘Nope’. I understand the over explaining and panic state exactly. I still struggle with boundaries, but thankfully I’m a lot better.

As for humor, I view it similarly to pranks or jokes. If the target or participant doesn’t find it funny? Stop. If the purpose is truly to cause levity then you (general you) will feel remorse when that isn’t the resulting effect. If the purpose is instead self entertainment and attention seeking, you defend instead of take accountability.

There have been plenty of times I’ve meant something in good nature or with positive motive and it turned out otherwise. I’ve apologized and remembered the scenario years later in my head while trying to sleep…not tried to guilt the other person.

@Wizz said in Tough Calls:

@somasatori said in Tough Calls:

ah yes, brain damage. what a laugh riot

I gotta be honest, that alone would probably be enough for me to tell someone to take a while to reflect and grow somewhere else before trying to play a game I ran again.

This. Media already tries to humorize or romanticize physical, mental, and other struggles enough. It’s triggering. I had someone pull off this ‘grand’ and ‘hilarious’ plot twist in a scene where their character was revealed to have a brain tumor so not only did that 1) Make all their actions ok it 2) Made my character and asshole for not instantly supporting them and me oocly an asshole for removing my char from the story and hook.

My husband was still dealing with his brain tumor at the time. Did the person know that? No. Should I have to tell them or explain how “brain tumors aren’t comedic content” for them to have common sense? No.

@Jumpscare Your patience. Holy Mother of Megazon. I applaud you.

Side note, it’s baffling the number of people who think ‘Understanding what I’m saying’ = ‘Agreeing with me/Me getting my way’.

@Gashlycrumb Also, chances are most of the people you (general not specific) have a problem with have a similar opinion of you so 1) Why would they care? 2) Why would they be surprised? People are allowed to avoid games because of Staff (whether your own issue or in support of someone else) so it seems hypocritical to not allow Staff the same option especially when they’re the one putting in the effort to run the game.

@Pavel said in Warma-Sheen:

My mother, eventually, came up with an ingenious solution to the problem: I would be punished for things that the imaginary friend did.

Suddenly, the imaginary friend disappeared.

@Gashlycrumb The best advice I got from someone for running my own game is “Your game is your living room you’re inviting people into. You keep the lights on and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for who you let in or not.”

@Cobalt

@Pavel Agreed. Self care and boundaries are important for game runners and staff too. In my experience this doesn’t get supported enough.

@InkGolem This was the Forum post made back in September explaining things:

@tsar This whole entire development has just been encouraging. I think it says a lot that you were willing to acknowledge Pacha’s emotions and experience even though you were unaware of it happening and also that it wasn’t the motivation of your actions.

It also says a lot about @Pacha for being able to acknowledge your position in the situation. While also not allowing these interactions to create a negative viewpoint.

So kudos to both of you!

At the end of the day we’re all human with our own lives and struggles. We don’t know how our actions (or the actions of those associated with us too) can be interpreted by others. We also can’t know the motive of others actions who we interact with. MUSH is behind a screen and most times we don’t know the person on the other side.

We may become friends over time and we may meet some of these people, but for the most part we remain strangers who share a love of escaping our reality through adventure. Yet, somehow our interactions with these people can still impact us and others in ways we can’t anticipate.

I’ve viewed others as being part of a ‘clique’ before. Either shutting out people or monopolizing rp and I admit I’ve let myself either be offended or get self conscious about it. Likewise, I’ve found out down the road that I have been viewed as part of a clique, monopolizing rp, or having some sort of fan following.

I know on my end none of that was my intention. Which made me realize. If I know it wasn’t my intention isn’t it possible that I’m misreading others actions the same mine were misread? I’ve given a lot more grace to myself and others as a result and overall it’s made rp a lot more fun. It’s also ironically helped me create healthier boundaries as well.

Sorry for the long ramble, but this took me down an encouraging thought trail and yeah tl;dr basically: