How many occasions do you have to be told you are toeing a line, is my question?
People really be like-- ‘no it’s fine to do this multiple times because i apologized to that person and just tried again differently’ as their defense and it blows my mind.
I am home now, since Sunday evening, and I keep crying on and off. I woke up crying this morning.
About five months ago, I left my previous job for my new one. But I left a lot of people that I was really close to for seven years. You spend 1/3rd of your day with the same people, and you grow super close to them. It’s why some people get joking referred to as work husbands, work wives.
My work husband passed away on Friday, from a heart attack. I don’t know any better thing to call him. We ate lunch together almost every day for seven years, we worked together, we bitched about our work and joked and shared everything. We worked out together, we had holidays together. And now he’s gone and the pandemic took so much time away from us, pushing everyone into isolation that I let stay because I was tired and lazy.
This pandemic is hard. It’s rough. We have all been constantly on edge for years. But, we should all be making more time for people and things we love.
wait wait wait.
if bossmek is Hadrix. Then if we go into his history, he was here talking about how he’d be WATCHING CAREFULLY how staff at United Heroes dealt with Claremont, who was basically-- in the same situation he is in now???
http://musoapbox.net/post/243861
Like, same exact thing. Guy accused as creeper by many people who is on staff, being protected by head staffer.
ETA: i guess he doesn’t think you guys need to look as carefully about how things get handled at AoA, but definitely needed to at UH. wonder what the difference is to bossmek there. hmmmm.
never trust a staff who can’t admit to their own fucks up, even as something as small as not having posted clear rules on x.
I promise, Devrex, I would also like people to stop going over there to name call. If you think that’s what I was doing when I posted for a while-- I wasn’t. Give me some good faith. I was pointing out one thing that I thought was unfair and egregious.
But basically, both boards are doing the same thing at this point. Vague ‘look at them, eating crackers!’ posts, because honestly, we are still one community and this schism is silly and makes me sad.
so us posting on here about you guys posting about us on there-- yeah, that’s gonna happen. I wish people would stop posting on there, though, too.
but, i didn’t go post because i was ‘bored’. i posted because i really thought my point could be acknowledged about how stupid Narson’s banning was, but scar getting unbanned, etc, and how arbitrary this shit was.
I had a weird experience reporting, even with staff I really respect now. I understand where they were coming from at the time, because they did not know me but they did know the other player.
And my logs did NOT make me look great. Because if you ask for anyone’s logs with someone they thought was a friend*ish that then proceeded to cross boundary after boundary, well. You’re gonna see some shit. Did I do some light gossip about another player? Yes. Etc etc. Was there some flirting before the person crossed the line? Yes. etc etc.
And even in the report I did make, there are some things I didn’t report because I just-- was not comfortable digging up the really personal shit to show. Like ‘hey, I asked that this person not try to talk OOC about sexual shit because he was married, but then he did and pressed and I didn’t defend that boundary as much as I should’ kind of shit.
idk, man. at the end of the day, this shit is complicated. hence why we’re going to rehash it until the world is in cinders.
hi guys, i’d just like to pop in and remind you all that i no longer RP. feel free to extrapolate from that information as you will.
also how are you guys doing? i miss you crazy weirdos.
Life feels /really/, /really/ unfair sometimes. The month of May has been just-- exhausting. We had to put our 3 year old puppy down, and then a week and a half later, I lost my friend who was so young.
Last week, my best friend’s dad passed away, two years into his retirement. He’s my second dad; he referred to me as his second daughter and probably cared about me way more than my real dad ever did.
He was a bit of a collector. We have just been cleaning and organizing since then, as well as dealing with funeral arrangements and trying to figure out probate and everything. The only highlight in all of this is the cool shit we found that he saved, so I’ll share that with you guys:
A lambda 8300 personal computer
A Timex-Sinclair 1000 personal computer
Every issue since Apr 1977 (the first) of Heavy Metal magazine (which is a misleading title but super cool)
The full box sets of 5 inch floppies of (with boxes and all the manuals and everything):
Worlds of Ultima: The Savage Empire
Ultima Worlds of Adventure: Martian Dreams
A huge box of weed seeds that he must have been saving from every bag he bought, for his daughter to bake with
This isn’t half of it, but they are some cool things of a lot of cool things he had. I am just so super sad and heart sore that he didn’t get to enjoy his hobbies longer. You work so long to retire to enjoy your life and it just-- Idk, I hurt right now.
Take care, guys. I’ll be back when I’m back!
@hobos honestly, I hadn’t thought of Macha in ten years since this??? So I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself.
I don’t hate her. But she did personally gaslight me and treat me pretty horribly, player to player, on the game we played together for a year (??? I think, don’t count on that time).
This mostly was: we would have a scene, her character would say something mean to mine, my character would react to said meanness, and then in all other RP with people or even RP with me, she would insist the thing she said/did didn’t happen and it was just my character being crazy/mean out of nowhere.
Mostly at the time, it made me feel shitty. Before this recent stuff, I just figured we were young and dumb and she didn’t feel comfortable enough to stop and ask for a retcon or communicate misunderstandings.
ETA: I mean, VulgarKitten also lied and gaslighted people. She violated NCOs that other people asked for. I think that is the definition of a bad actor.
So that’s why I’m still reading, even though I know I shouldn’t. I’ll grow out of it soon.
honestly, i think i need to force myself out of it now. i’ve said my peace. as derp says, they have the receipts. anyone can look at anything i posted and decide how they feel they wish to characterize it.
reading over and over broad strokes that mischaracterize me, i feel, just makes me upset each time and is bad for my mental health. And my BPD, as i once explained on MSB, but i do need to take responsibility for my own mental health.
i’m not judging anyone here, obvs! or there. idc. i am just explaining why i am suddenly going to stop posting in this thread or upvoting people. take care, guys!
just stating for the record, that the two views ‘we don’t ban enough’ and ‘having a hair trigger and banning the first time someone comes off rude might be bad (in the sense that you might miss good people)’ aren’t fundamentally opposing views.
@Yam i’m not on either side. i literally care nothing for either of these people. in my opinion, some of the people pushing back are not pushing back on this specific instance, just on the idea that its actually a good thing to go nuclear as soon as someone is rude.
it’s an option, and i don’t think it is a bad option. i don’t think it’s a good option, either. i think it’s just an option and i think you are going to miss some people and moments, that’s all.
my example? it wasn’t a bad day for me. i was just rude, not paying attention to my tone. for weeks, at least, before staff talked to me.
@Faraday said in Empire Discussion Thread:
Look, I’m not excusing rudeness here, but let’s be realistic. These are open public internet games with people who don’t always know each other well, and text-only chat. Text lacks tone. People don’t always word things right. Even the best players can have moments where they get frustrated or impatient.
i think this is a huge point. let’s not pretend we’re all angels who always have the best tone.
hell, one of the first games i was on, the staffers had to sit me down, metaphorically, and explain that my tone was coming off rude. did i know? no. i came from a different internet culture and honestly hadn’t put much thought into my text tone until that point.
if they had banned me instead of at least trying to give a warning, we wouldn’t be friends now, i wouldn’t have attended one of their weddings, and i’d probably have quickly dropped out of the hobby, because it was my second MUSH and the first one had it’s own thing with people being rude to ME, so.
so i’m not saying you can’t ban people, or that you have to put up with rudeness, or that you can’t have a small quiet game.
but there’s also good moments to be had in offering some patience in that position too.
i have to come to you guys, hat in hand, and admit tez was right. short, but right.
and for that reason, i am rioting anyways.
just need to know who’d do the electric bugaloo if it was necessary
@Ominous I think there’s two different meanings of the word ‘power’ at play here.
There is, of course, the authority to do something. Pyre can ban you or me or anyone from this forum (or well, collective staff can, whoever actually controls the keys to the kingdom). My boss can fire me tomorrow. Definitely all power.
But if Pyre bans me right now, she really has no power over me other than that. No influence over my life. If my boss fires me right now for not doing the work I should be doing and instead replying here, I won’t be able to buy a number of things I want to buy, and probably pay bills, and I will probably be very unhappy.
Even beyond that, my boss has a lot of influence over my life in general. He has power over me.
This is more like a peer-to-peer interaction. Your friend could stop hanging out with you tomorrow, and effectively, there was some amount of ‘power’ there in that they chose a thing and banned you from their presence, but that wasn’t them exerting power over you versus choosing who they want in their life.
@dvoraen i’ve played PEAK! not with tez, but other friends. its a really fun game.
@dvoraen omg i haven’t been on bmd in forever but i am glad you linked this. this looks so fun.
i’ll need to bully @Tez and other people into playing this.
Updated. Trying to get back into this lil hobby, this quaint what did you call it? RP? Are you sure? Well, if you are sure you want to call it that. Sounds a little sexual tho.
