The fear of being seen as The Whiner is real. I’ve avoided reporting things that seemed non-reportable - constant and intentional passive aggressiveness, for instance - because I didn’t want to seem like a complainer who was out to get someone. Only to later find out that knowing that would have been valuable to staff.
When I started on Arx, a player pressured me to TS and then when I declined IC with reference to her sexuality he said, OOC, that maybe the right dick would fix her. I didn’t report this, because I had invited him to my room (to look at a painting we had been discussing!) so it was probably my fault and what else would I have expected. It wasn’t like he paged me out of nowhere. @sao (lovingly) bullied me into reporting and he was banned like 10 minutes later - in part because someone else had also reported him being borderline creepy but not instabannable. Would he have been banned if there wasn’t already a report about something more minor? I don’t know!
After several years, I know and trust Arx staff enough to report and let them decide what to do with it, but only because I have gotten to know them and I’m pretty sure they know I wouldn’t report maliciously. But there’s no way I’d do that immediately on a new game. It’s a tricky line to walk, for sure.