RL Peeves
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I swear to god I am so sick of living with people who want me to cook but won’t tidy up after themselves or leave the damn kitchen. I love to cook, but I don’t want to do an hour of cleaning before I can start cooking. I love to cook, but if I have to negotiate to get to the sink, the stove, the counter, the drawers, why the fuck are you even in here and why does asking you to find something else to do result into you being back in here one minute later? Fuck it, I’m going out.
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@Wizz BTW, you are not alone. Drop me a line if you want to compare recovery notes and such.
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hello, my peeve is that my town is on fire and it is a pain in the ass.
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hello, my peeve is that my town is on fire and it is a pain in the ass.
If I’m not mistaken, I’m about 2-3h drive away from you, and it’s basically THE FOG here the smoke haze is that bad. Our AQI is > 500 here, everyone is saying.
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Aria said:
“I use Copilot to prep for all of our 1:1 meetings!”
If you need Copilot to walk you through a weekly 1:1 meeting with your direct reports about their work capacity, current projects, and career goals because you’re incapable of holding that conversation on your own, I think the wrong one of us is the manager here, friend.
This same manager just got caught committing (fairly minor) fraud and freely admitted it when being investigated. Instead of being fired, HR said he could be given a verbal or written warning depending on what his manager wants. It doesn’t even have to be written!
Meanwhile I spent yesterday morning gentle-parenting him through fixing a mistake he couldn’t grasp the implications of. Even though it’s basic information he should’ve understood about key functions of our work more than a year ago, before he’d even finished his first 90 days in job.
I am going to scream.
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I teach at a middle to high upper class public magnet school. No millionaires, but 70% of my student population doesn’t have issues paying for basic needs and many wants and can take a vacation yearly. The other 30% qualify for free and reduced lunches. Even for a majority of our parents in poverty they are highly engaged in their child’s life and that makes up a ton of the difference in wealth. Our students are academically and socially advanced in general. We have fewer behavior issues on the whole. Our parents generally want to work with us.
I say all of that to check my privilege. I fully understand this is not true of a majority of our district. We are excelling as a school because of all that privilege.
That said, I need to underline the part where generally our kids are above the medium for our district scores. Last year no one on our staff used any curriculum to fidelity. We picked the best and left the rest. My same level teacher and I abandoned our Math curriculum mid year and our okay data became exceptionally good. We both had non-readers break the literacy barrier. Kids who were always at the bottom in math either grew more than a year or finally met benchmark at the end of the year for the first time.
So tell me why we were handed a SCRIPTED (Literally, it says “say this”) curriculum and told we would be audited on our fidelity.
Our upper literacy teacher almost lost her mind. She read Romeo and Juliet last year with her kids. This year they recommend “The Brave Little Toaster” as required and “longer reads” as “suggestions for kids outside of class.”
I am offended for myself, and my students. They can achieve a shit ton more if I can keep delivering higher tier instruction that I know all meet my kids needs because *they are different. *
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@dvoraen Yeah. We have been evacuated. My cats hate all the moving around. My father is driving me nuts.
It is a challenge.
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@junipersky I think every state should adopt something similar to the Mississippi Miracle and get it right.
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So… like everything in education, it’s not really possible to repeat the “Mississippi miracle” because no one can agree on what led to the gains.
https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2025/12/01/how-much-of-mississippis-education-miracle-is-an-artifact-of-selection-bias/ <-- Article breaking down the statistics used and how different sides choose to read and interpret the data to draw different conclusions.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/04/mississippi-education-miracle/686731/ <-- More on the X factor that can’t just be copy-pasted
https://educationwars.substack.com/p/overselling-the-mississippi-miracle <-- It is just complicated! And we will see if Mississippi can keep it up.
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About a week ago, a male co-worker took a picture on his phone of me bending over while I was cleaning and rearranging for work. We pulled cameras and it was clear as day Love that journey for us.
I’m not too in my feels about it. Stupid men (no offense to the good ones) doing stupid men shit. I normally have the ‘talks’ around this but couldn’t as I was involved.
HR circles back to let me know the photo has been deleted. However, the male co-worker said he’s reaching out to his therapist about it and my female HR thinks that’s really good enough. As the photo was deleted and there was no harm.
Again, I don’t feel unsafe. I think he’s a creep, but I already thought that. It just… doesn’t sit well with me and I’m not fully sure why since again, I’m not having a reaction personally.
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@RightMeow said:
Again, I don’t feel unsafe. I think he’s a creep, but I already thought that. It just… doesn’t sit well with me and I’m not fully sure why since again, I’m not having a reaction personally.Because there have been zero actual consequences. He behaved badly, in a way that was personally violating even if “iT wAsN’t AcTuAlLy DaNgErOuS!!!” and isn’t receiving so much as a reprimand as long as he talks to someone about his feelings. I’d literally bet money that your brain is sitting there going, “Ohh, so shitty men get to be shitty again without anything that even vaguely resembles accountability. Cool cool cool.” and just, like, hasn’t articulated that clearly to you yet.
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As the photo was deleted and there was no harm.
any HR rep worth anything would acknowledge it was the act that was the harm, and that it really didn’t matter if there wasn’t anything physical you could point to.
that is super shitty, I’m sorry. is escalating not really on the table?
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@RightMeow What @Aria said.
Also because you are probably at least somewhat aware that therapy generally does not teach abusers not to be abusive. It teaches them to use concepts and terminology from therapy to be better at abuse and victim-blaming. The therapist’s job is to improve their client’s, in this case the abuser’s, well-being. The therapist isn’t working for you or everybody else around this guy. So “I will reach out to my therapist about this” is pretty much the opposite of addressing the problem. Really it goes, “I will talk to my therapist, who will almost certainly give me reasons I am not really in the wrong here and help me more effectively reverse our roles so you’re wrong and what I did is no big deal.”
Returning to @Wizz’s mention of narcissists, that’s what mine did. And came home to tell me that his therapist said he was healthy and I was the abuser. Because I was “withholding affection to be manipulative” (ex evidently didn’t tell therapist that the reason I slept on the couch every night was because ex was too damn clingy and I can’t sleep when I’m being crushed and coated in sweat, and because ex would sleep with his hand on my junk and then randomly SQUEEZE in his sleep, which was fucking intolerable, and because ex snored and refused to even try anything to stop it but just denied it, and because ex would hit the ‘snooze’ button a dozen times every morning, resulting in an hour-and-a-half of non-sleep for me regardless of if I had to get up that morning. And so on. My furiously yelling at ex to get out of the house and take a walk one day was also listed as abusive behaviour on my part, and of course ex didn’t tell Therapist that I did that because ex was holding the cat by the scruff of her neck and punching her and my failing is really that I didn’t try to beat him senseless, which would have at least been slightly fair, since he had only 35 lb on me rather than the 145 or so he had on the cat.
Anyway, yeah, that’s some ol’ bullshit, this guy shouldn’t get away with this crap.
I don’t think deleting the photo makes the harm not real.
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As the photo was deleted and there was no harm.
The harm was that it was taken at all, wtf
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There’s no escalation at this point and not really one to go to. It’s just very frustrating as he’s had to be coached about making comments about people. I just keep thinking what if this was the minor child I have in my employ.
Then I was like, am I being weird? I logically know I’m not but well thanks. It helps to hear that my reaction is probably the more sane one.
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There’s no escalation at this point and not really one to go to. It’s just very frustrating as he’s had to be coached about making comments about people. I just keep thinking what if this was the minor child I have in my employ.
Then I was like, am I being weird? I logically know I’m not but well thanks. It helps to hear that my reaction is probably the more sane one.
It’s also shitty where HR, at least in big companies like the one I work in, won’t escalate unless a lawsuit is possible or likely. Then they will put on a song and dance to try to show they are doing something, which is never a permanent fix. Unfortunately, filing a lawsuit is basically the nuclear option and almost ends up burning bridges.
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HR circles back to let me know the photo has been deleted. However, the male co-worker said he’s reaching out to his therapist about it and my female HR thinks that’s really good enough. As the photo was deleted and there was no harm.
Why are they centring his feelings. Wtf is this pickme ass logic. I assume he’s a grown adult?? Oh wow so sad he’s still working through his issues to not take an inappropriate picture of a colleague without consent. Poor him, hope he can make it through this tough time???
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