We got another dog back on Memorial Day weekend. He was a rescue out of a terrible situation on the Texas-Mexico border (multiple infections, inch deep cuts hidden under matting in his fur, fleas, ticks, you name it) and despite being surrendered by his previous owner, we’re honestly not sure he’s ever lived in a house before.
I cannot stop laughing at the crazy-eyed reaction he has to pup cups, like the sugar high hitting his bloodstream is just the dog equivalent of this child.
I am late to the party because naps, and I think I must have missed something someone said somewhere but…
Please do not doubt someone who claims they have been abused. Not even if you profoundly dislike them. Not even if they engage in shitty behavior themselves after the fact.
NGL, I got way too drawn into Ghost’s personal life and resulting well-being about a decade ago, but it was not in the Regina George “OMG, why are you so obsessed with me?!” kind of way that Dropkick tried to portray it as later. It was in the “As extremely unlikely as it is to be accepted, I feel like I need to (with my partner’s knowledge and agreement) at least offer to put this person up in my spare bedroom because they have repeatedly expressed to me that they feel unsafe in their own home” kind of way.
I’m not going to go into more than that because it’s absolutely not my story to share, and I’m not going to claim that it justifies terrible behavior on his part because it absolutely does not. Believe me, even after confirming there was no bad blood between us – at least not about that and the dRaMa!!11!one!elevn!!! that resulted – there have been several times since then that I’ve wanted to sock the dude in the mouth.
But, like… don’t, guys. Just don’t. Not cool, and A+ to the folks who said they aren’t going to do that.
In my experience, abusers are going to be abusive regardless of what community, culture, or system they’re in. They will find ways to bend the rules and norms of that setting to their advantage, as well as to blame those they abuse for somehow being at fault for what was done to them. And this is true for any kind of abuse, although sexual abuse is the most egregious.
The key to minimizing this is making it clear from the outset that it’s not acceptable by the broader community as a whole, then enforcing this mandate regularly and consistently when it’s uncovered that oh, hey, surprise, this abusive person is a piece of shit. Officially, yes, but also unofficially, with a general aura of “You fuckers are not welcome here.” that is present from start to finish.
It’s not perfect, not by any means, but no system is and I think it’s the only way to balance the fact that everyone’s experiences, preferences, and desires are their own and that no one else really has the right to dictate that for others, save those who cannot possibly consent for whatever reason.
I prefer they/them. She/her is also fine. Like, I won’t be mad about it or offended if someone uses that, especially given how complicated my own feelings about gender are and the fact that my body-type adds a lived experience I will always have thrust on me barring major surgery I don’t want, but I do get the warm fuzzies when folks at least try.
Uhmm.
I somehow got an A in the worst class in my entire program, the hell-class that I was seriously concerned about failing in the final semester before graduation, the class that had me in spiralling meltdown mode for two months.
I understand virtually nothing from this class, including how or why I got this grade, but fuck it. I’ll take it.
@kalakh She is perfection. Also, have some ridiculousness in exchange.
If anyone knows how to reboot a dog, that would be aces. Benny seems to have crashed.
There are actually a fuckton of literal fascists in this hobby;
There are fascists in a lot of places, alas. Fascists in gaming is an interesting area people are working on, but the far right were early adopters of online spaces (including back in the BBS days). Their methods will only ever get a small percentage of the population, but if you have so many people you can access, you can get to a much greater proportion of that small number and…well.
As someone who is super into history, Norse mythology, Crusader Kings, punk rock, and RPGs, the amount of time I have to spend squinting at people with common interests and going “Okay, but are you a fucking Nazi?” is both alarming and exhausting.
Final GPA for my Master’s degree. Considering there was a point when I lost track of how many times I dropped or failed out of undergraduate programs, I’d say this isn’t half bad.
Look, people can talk about how toxic and broken the community is and don’t get me wrong here - there are definitely people that are bad actors, there are behaviors that are problematic, there are persistent attitudes that I wish would just fuck off and die already.
But… I have had people in the community help me out during a pet emergency. I’ve sent groceries and home furnishings to people in the community. I’ve had people help my husband get a job. I’ve reviewed and rewritten other people’s resumes. A handful of MUers I know are literally the only people who try to use my pronouns correctly and respect my identity, including literally all of my family and almost all of my friends and definitely every single person I work with.
There is just as much, if not far more, good than there is bad – just like in most every community. And yes, you should point out the bad. You should try to fix it. You should make a space safer and more welcoming.
But if the only thing you seem to see is the bad, if all you can focus on is the bad, if all you can talk about is the bad…
I dunno, boo. Maybe the problem is just that you need something to constantly rail against so you can make yourself feel superior?
Our old man had a scare, including a very expensive visit to the dog ER. He needed to be monitored when we had errands to run yesterday, so we brought him with us.
The steps to the coffehouse we stopped at were still a bit scary, so the barista brought his pup cup outside. In a full latte cup.
Outdoor party season has started in my neighborhood and I fucking hate it.
I didn’t always hate it, either. When we had actual block parties, it was fun! But this isn’t a block party. This is one single family that moved in across the street. They invite 30-40 people over to their 1,200 square foot rowhome and because there’s no reasonable way to accommodate that many people in their house, they move the entire party into their front yard…
Speakers and all. I don’t mind that they’re playing music. I don’t even mind that they’re playing music so loudly that I can hear it clearly enough to make out every lyric through my closed windows. I live in a city. It comes with the territory.
I do mind that they’re playing (terrible) music so loudly that I can’t hear my own television turned up to full volume and the bass is physically shaking my house.
Best of all, they’re going to be doing this for at least the next six hours.
Our old man had a scare, including a very expensive visit to the dog ER. He needed to be monitored when we had errands to run yesterday, so we brought him with us.
The steps to the coffehouse we stopped at were still a bit scary, so the barista brought his pup cup outside. In a full latte cup.
Final GPA for my Master’s degree. Considering there was a point when I lost track of how many times I dropped or failed out of undergraduate programs, I’d say this isn’t half bad.
@Pyrephox said in MU* Wishlists:
I’d really love to see more single-sphere (or Mortal) focused games with staff who were really passionate about running those stories. More often what I see is “here are the most popular spheres or the spheres that people have loudly demanded, anyway, but the game staff actually only feels comfortable doing anything with X and Y sphere, so Z sphere, while technically extant, is basically stuck with whoever decides to take one for the team until they burn out”.
I have been saying this for literally twenty years. It made sense when I was working on White Wolf’s official game servers that they offered (almost) every splat that they had published because they were ostensibly marketing vehicles for the company and were built to support their product line, but…
After that, it seems like most places just opened up as many spheres as they could manage out of a desire to reach a critical mass of players, whether they could actually serve those spheres well or not. I would really like to see games that are single-sphere or maybe - maaaaaaybe - two or three spheres if they have overlapping themes that will be highlighted in the game’s setting and plot, thereby giving them reasons to be running around in the same spaces.
My kingdom for a Mage: the Awakening 2E game.
@Faraday said in MU* Wishlists:
But let’s not conflate liking someone with the ability to problem-solve and handle conflicts in a mature manner. They are very different things, and one neither requires nor implies the other. PVE games have stupid schoolyard drama, but PVP games tend to ratchet it up to 11. I just can’t stand dealing with it (as player or as staff).
This came across my feed the other day and I immediately thought of the MU community:
@icanbeyourmuse So when Vampire was first written in the early 90s, the game was primarily about the Camarilla (a large Vampire faction of many different Vampire clans that has a sort of Medieval lords vibe to it) and their conflict with the Sabbat (a smaller Vampire faction that also had several clans, but not as many, with a sort of Crusading church vibe to it), but layered with hundreds of years of history and bloody vampire horror.
This conflict was written as frequent, hostile, often intensely violent, and an intrinsic part of the game. Some variation of it has been baked into every version of Vampire since, whether it was in VtM 2.0, the anniversary editions, or as Invictus/Lancea Sanctum (with a few additional convenants just for funsies!) in what became the Chronicles of Darkness. It’s a big part of why - as much as I love both WoD/CoD Vampire as it’s written - I generally don’t think it’s a great fit for large online games unless staff actively wants to spend a decent bit of time telling stories around and adjudicating interfaction and interpersonal conflict. Most of the other splats will have some shared antagonist that they’re willing to at least temporarily set aside their petty differences to face, but in most versions of Vampire, the antagonists are… some other group of vampires. Could it do well in a smaller, controlled setting with a clearly outlined group of antagonists and and a narrative driving towards a particular endgame? Yeah, I think it could. But that would have to be baked in from the beginning and constantly reiterated, because otherwise you’re eventually going to get some random player(s) that decide their primary goal is to be Lord of All the Fangly Ones and being an ICly scheming, manipulative dickface to get there is part of the theme as written.
Note that I have had plenty of fun over the span of many years playing exactly this theme. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. But in comparison to a lot of the other World of Darkness lines I’ve run on various games over the years, I’d say that Vampire: the Requiem was 100% the one that caused the most amount of me sighing and going “…fucking really, guys?” at something that was OOC, in comparison to both versions of Mage and both versions of Changeling, which I’ve also staffed.
@Jennkryst said in Happy Birthday BMD:
Still mad I lost DMs and contact possibilities with old friends who only log in over there once in a blue moon.
I’ve still got access if you want me to pass on contact details to anyone, but there’s been all of… two posts in a week.
