So today is my first day back in the office after PTO. When I was checking my calendar last night, I saw that my boss put a meeting on the books for first thing this morning with her and with her boss. I figured something went wrong with one of the projects I was working on with the boss’s boss while I was out and they needed to get me up to speed.

Uhh, no.

Turns out that when I found out how underpaid I am compared to my teammates last summer and lodged a complaint about that, initially got an ugly response, then they backpedaled hard and asked how much I wanted, only to get turned down? That request stuck around. My boss’s boss’s boss noted the complaint and when they did mid-year adjustments this year for people on the bottom end of salary bands, he personally lumped my name in with the ones that got sent to HR. Even though I was above the cut-off percentage for consideration.

My boss called a meeting to give me a 5% raise, on top of my end of year adjustment from 2023, because of something I bitched about a year ago.

In almost ten years at my company, I have only ever gotten one bad review – one! out of almost twenty! – from a person who was my manager for all of two months. It was from someone who not only didn’t understand what my job was, but who regularly gave conflicting instructions in the same day, would ignore when I pointed this out to her, and then wondered why I couldn’t do both of these things that were in direct opposition to one another. This manager then proceeded to be mean to me for the next two years straight, all the way up until I moved to a different subdivision, and still tries to pull my current boss into almost everything I work on that she’s involved in.

Today she was forced to acknowledge that my work is fast, thoughtful, and high quality despite being related to a request that is urgent, complex, and so confusing to convey to our audience that we need spreadsheets of who gets what messaging, when, and from whom.

And she had to say the nice thing in front of an entire committee.

Including my boss.

We got another dog back on Memorial Day weekend. He was a rescue out of a terrible situation on the Texas-Mexico border (multiple infections, inch deep cuts hidden under matting in his fur, fleas, ticks, you name it) and despite being surrendered by his previous owner, we’re honestly not sure he’s ever lived in a house before.

I cannot stop laughing at the crazy-eyed reaction he has to pup cups, like the sugar high hitting his bloodstream is just the dog equivalent of this child.

I am late to the party because naps, and I think I must have missed something someone said somewhere but…

Please do not doubt someone who claims they have been abused. Not even if you profoundly dislike them. Not even if they engage in shitty behavior themselves after the fact.

NGL, I got way too drawn into Ghost’s personal life and resulting well-being about a decade ago, but it was not in the Regina George “OMG, why are you so obsessed with me?!” kind of way that Dropkick tried to portray it as later. It was in the “As extremely unlikely as it is to be accepted, I feel like I need to (with my partner’s knowledge and agreement) at least offer to put this person up in my spare bedroom because they have repeatedly expressed to me that they feel unsafe in their own home” kind of way.

I’m not going to go into more than that because it’s absolutely not my story to share, and I’m not going to claim that it justifies terrible behavior on his part because it absolutely does not. Believe me, even after confirming there was no bad blood between us – at least not about that and the dRaMa!!11!one!elevn!!! that resulted – there have been several times since then that I’ve wanted to sock the dude in the mouth.

But, like… don’t, guys. Just don’t. Not cool, and A+ to the folks who said they aren’t going to do that.

My coworker’s partner is liquidating a lot of their inventory from their Etsy shop. So today they showed up with a bag full of block printed t-shirts for me and tried to foist them off on me for free, until I insisted on paying something for it.

(Pay artists. It’s a rule, not a guideline.)

My clothes are extra queer now and I am very happy.

In my experience, abusers are going to be abusive regardless of what community, culture, or system they’re in. They will find ways to bend the rules and norms of that setting to their advantage, as well as to blame those they abuse for somehow being at fault for what was done to them. And this is true for any kind of abuse, although sexual abuse is the most egregious.

The key to minimizing this is making it clear from the outset that it’s not acceptable by the broader community as a whole, then enforcing this mandate regularly and consistently when it’s uncovered that oh, hey, surprise, this abusive person is a piece of shit. Officially, yes, but also unofficially, with a general aura of “You fuckers are not welcome here.” that is present from start to finish.

It’s not perfect, not by any means, but no system is and I think it’s the only way to balance the fact that everyone’s experiences, preferences, and desires are their own and that no one else really has the right to dictate that for others, save those who cannot possibly consent for whatever reason.

Final GPA for my Master’s degree. Considering there was a point when I lost track of how many times I dropped or failed out of undergraduate programs, I’d say this isn’t half bad.

@farfalla

I prefer they/them. She/her is also fine. Like, I won’t be mad about it or offended if someone uses that, especially given how complicated my own feelings about gender are and the fact that my body-type adds a lived experience I will always have thrust on me barring major surgery I don’t want, but I do get the warm fuzzies when folks at least try.

Uhmm.

I somehow got an A in the worst class in my entire program, the hell-class that I was seriously concerned about failing in the final semester before graduation, the class that had me in spiralling meltdown mode for two months.

I understand virtually nothing from this class, including how or why I got this grade, but fuck it. I’ll take it.

@Tchotchke said in Liberation MUSH:

I appreciate everyone’s thoughts. Getting that out of my system and finding that a bunch of people with an outside perspective thought it was problematic was cathartic. Thank you.

Dude, my friends and I left that game over way less awful shit than that. And while I sometimes miss my character and regret the amount of setting material I wrote up for a staffer that was very shortly thereafter replaced by a hypercontrolling weirdo…

That policy (? bbpost? whatever it is?) is so beyond the pale that no amount of nostalgia would be worth going back. I suggest taking Roz’s advice and noping the fuck out of there.

@SockMonkey said in Real life happy:

More of a real life cute, but wanted to share. This is a recent development that now seems to be routine.

Backstory: Our oldest cat has diabetes and has to get injections. Don’t worry, he’s doing fine. Grumpy old man, but his levels are good and he’s moving towards remission. That being said, since he has to get a shot twice a day he gets fed a little away from the other cats and gets some extra cuddles after.

Present Day: One of our youngest cats started to walk up and whine when I was administering the post-shot extra cuddles to Oldest Cat. So I laughed and said, “You only get extra cuddles if you get a shot.” He head donked me and meowed.

Just for fun I took the insulin pen (so solid plastic cap no needle to it) and gave him ‘his shot’. I said “There you go! Good job!” and cuddled him.

Now he comes up every feeding, every injection, and waits his turn patiently for ‘his shot’ and extra cuddles.

Similar story.

Two friends of mine have an old man cat named Speedbump, which is probably the best name a cat has ever had in the history of ever. Speedbump is also diabetic and is doing very well, to the point that he’s down to one injection a day instead of two.

The problem: Speedbump has been trained so well on his routine that he now comes to my friend at 9PM on the dot for his second injection and the treats that come with it. Friend has tried giving Speedbump the treats without the injection, but he knows he has to wait for the injection and will just sit there, staring longingly and meowing for his treats. So now Speedbump gets an injection once a day in the morning, and every night he gets a tiny little pinch on the back so he knows can have his snack.

@Rucket said in Real life happy:

@Rucket said in Real life happy:

I, uh, have a crazy job interview on Monday. I really can’t believe it but going to prep this weekend and hope Monday goes well!

Quoting my own post to say I had a 2nd one on Thursday and hope to hear something early next week about Interview #3.

@MisterBoring said in LFRP: Light and support character acceptable places?:

I think most games these days are open to whatever your schedule is. Just explain it in the OOC comms channels before you get super deep into it so that nobody’s setting incorrect expectations for your attendance.

Honestly, I don’t think anyone really expects people to be online and available every single day anymore. I could be wrong, but if that’s the sort of pressure you’re getting from someone, direct them to the immortal words of Taylor Swift:

@Pyrephox said in Numetal/Retromux:

@somasatori said in Numetal/Retromux:

Someone once told me (paraphrased) that the primary difference between maintaining OOC respect for your fellow players after a PVP/tense situation at a LARP and maintaining OOC respect and kindness towards your fellow MUSHers in the same situation is that MUSHers are not obligated to sit in a booth with each other at IHOP at 2am after we’ve finished our scenes.

Anonymity can be a real motivator in being a serious asshole towards others – which is interesting, because I’m fairly certain we’ve all known each other (or of each other) for the better part of a decade (which is perhaps also what leads to PVP situations).

That said, PVP is a difficult one. On one hand, if you explicitly prohibit PVP in a WoD environment, it takes some of the bite out of inter-sphere relations. On the other hand, allowing for a no-holds-barred environment will make the game – from examples I’ve seen – into a tedious free-for-all. I’m not sure if it’s just my perception based on the people I talk to, but I feel like interest in PVP has dropped off in the last little while.

I used to be in a gaming club in college where a whole lot of people were Mind’s Eye Theatre players. For my money, I’d say there’s not a whole lot of difference in toxicity: lots of vicious personal enmity, gossip, blurring of OOC/IC boundaries, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and cheating. Having to look people in the face afterwards didn’t really seem to help any of it.

Fun Fact: The only time I’ve ever been reduced to literally hiding behind other people in order to get a man twice my age to stop leering at me in a public space was when I was in college, attending a campus Changeling LARP as an OOC observer to see if I wanted to join. He was, supposedly, “just doing what his character would do!” since he was playing a satyr. Again, I was an OOC observer and visibly tagged as such. As far as his ‘character’ was concerned, I didn’t exist. I was 19. He had to be in his 40s. No one seemed to think this was a problem except for me, my then-boyfriend, and the friend I’d gone there with.

So. Y’know. Do with that information what you will.

@Livia said in WoD: House Rules:

For me I think it depends on the reason for the house rules more than the rules themselves.

This, but most of all, I want to clearly see the reason for the house rule plainly stated somewhere. Why? Because if staff outlines why something was ruled that way, it lets me understand what kind of game the want to run–what themes they’re interested versus what bumps up against that, what sorts of stories they want to tell, what mechanics they do and don’t want to deal with, etc.

That makes it a whole lot easier for me to gauge what staff is looking for, or at least willing to engage with, when it comes to their interaction with players than things getting ruled on a case by case basis that can sometimes feel like, “Which GM card did you draw from the lottery? Do they like this plot? Do they like you? What mood are they in today? Is the wind blowing south-westerly and the moon full?” that can happen when you’re dealing with WoD, especially on a multi-sphere game with conflicting rules between splat, edition, and supplement.

Then again, I also tend to prefer single-sphere games specifically because they make the rule base so much easier to navigate. You may still need to HR something, but at least it’s going to be because of theme, mechanical confusion, or trying to make something work better on a MU*, instead of just, “Yeah, every sphere has a different but also overlapping skill list because screw you, that’s why.”

@Ashkuri said in Numetal/Retromux:

WOD players are you guys okay??

When have we ever been?

@Pavel said in Paid Role-Playing:

I certainly wouldn’t pay for the privilege of playing. I would, however, not object to making a regular donation to support the game’s financial running costs. If I liked the game enough to care whether it stays up or not.

But most game runners I know are wary of accepting such kindness as it can often come with the perceived problems, as regaled above, about pay to win or other kinds of bias.

ETA: Which is, I think, basically exactly the same as what mietze said above.

For awhile, a WOD game I was on had a tip jar that actually worked, but it was because the cost of running the game was relatively high, while the ask and the reward were clear and specific.

Kick in… I think it was $2? towards server costs a month and you got a very tantalizing XP. One whole XP! As a thank you. Anything above and beyond the cost of the server was explicitly stated to be beer money for the game admin and coder. Bear in mind, though, that this was a game that also involved having a fairly expensive DigiChat license. The cost of that license was a big part of why that type of game was rare and, even with the tip jar, they didn’t break even on the costs for most months of the year. From my understanding, people were (perhaps surprisingly) actually not dicks as a result, especially because the game owner was fairly explicit about what was coming in and what was going out.

With the cost of an Ares server being $12 a month, though? I honestly forget I have one open half the time.

@Sammich said in Celebrities We've Lost 2026 Edition:

@howyadoin Why not?

@MisterBoring said in Celebrities We've Lost 2025:

@Wizz said in Celebrities We've Lost 2025:

People Mag willing to just jump on that conclusion within hours seems pretty irresponsible unless their sources are like…the son himself, so. still taking that with a small grain of salt. enormously tragic either way, those two were absolute legends and it makes me heartsick.

Well, he’s been arrested for the murder this morning.

Yeeeeah, I was a little suspicious when the police said they weren’t looking for a suspect at the time. That usually means some variation of, “We know who it was and we’re just getting the evidence we need to arrest them.”

@Faraday said in AI Megathread:

@Aria said in AI Megathread:

I’m just sitting here watching this with a look of vague horror on my face

AI has no concept of this. You can ask it to “write secure code” or whatever, but it fundamentally doesn’t know how to do that. I sincerely hope it does not take a rash of Therac 25 level disasters to teach the software industry that lesson again.

Yeeep. I’m not in medical research anymore, but I used to work in the office that monitored clinical trials for massive university hospital system, including training clinical research coordinators on how to maintain documentation to standard.

You do not mess around with people’s lives, livelihoods, and life savings. If you break those, there’s really no coming back. I don’t understand why we have to keep learning this, but I guess some tech bro billionaire and all his investors that can’t actually follow along with what he’s saying need the money to upgrade their yachts.