Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Bannings
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@BloodAngel It was this person. I recognize that icon!
Anyway, reiterating, VulgarKitten said she was sorry in a very large post that was followed by five pages of people attacking her. Is it any wonder she didn’t want to go back to MSB, and actually swore off it in her post? Yeah, she felt safe enough to go back once some people were banned. But that doesn’t mean there is nobody left who doesn’t remember what she did. I guess the people left are just more understanding about it, mostly. Or maybe the new forum rules are just stopping people from being needlessly cruel.
Hi.
I would like to think I am pretty understanding (sometimes too much so). I’m also not banned anywhere (that I’m aware of).
I’m a firm believer in not invalidating anyone’s experience and try not to. I also don’t think many would use cruel as a descriptive word for me. I understand that your truth is yours. That you believe what you believe on the perspective you are given. In some ways, I can even understand using that perception and thinking a friend is being unjustly accused. I get it. You are reacting to what you know.
What I will say is this. I don’t have a personal hatred or a long list of years of discontent with VK. I’ve RPed with them more than a few times. What I will say is on an alt that they didn’t know was me – they set me up OOC pretty good. I don’t owe you my story, so I’m not going to give it. I’m not posting hatred, but what I will say is the observations that you are being given - are not fully correct. I don’t think they are fully lies either. I think it is a selective bias being given to you.
You don’t have to chose to believe it. You state that MSB is just more understanding and less cruel. It’s not actually true. I say this as someone who’s tried to remain neutral. I’m not saying they are cruel and don’t understand. I think it’s the same just provided differently.
Hurt people do not owe you their stories. Their trauma (even if it is a bias or a perception) is their own. You do not have the right to make a person re-live that trauma/that hurt feeling/that disillusionment to prove something to you. If someone does tell you, you should act with humble appreciation and leave it there. People don’t have to validate their experiences. Sometimes the receipts are not yours to ask for. It doesn’t mean people are cruel. It means that life is hard and they are doing what they need to get through it and survive their RL, nevermind the virtual one.
I hope you will take a moment to reflect on how you are being perceived over what you are intending to do. I hope you will take a moment and a breath to know that there is always three sides. What A said, What B said, and what actually happened.
And as I’m known to say - at the end, just try to be kind.
Thank you for taking a moment to read my post. No anger or anything to anyone involved. It is just my hope that while we can’t fix things that happened, that we move forward better than where it was.
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@RightMeow said in Bannings:
I’m not posting hatred, but what I will say is the observations that you are being given - are not fully correct. I don’t think they are fully lies either. I think it is a selective bias being given to you.
I don’t think you meant this the way that it comes across, but I want to clarify: yes, a fair amount of what is being spouted is 100% fabrication, not based in fact at all. Much of what she says about me is complete falsehood, rather than a side of a story. I am not the only one treated like this. One of the biggest, most hurtful ways that the entire thing against me was accomplished was by somebody hearing her story, my flat denial, and the person in question going ‘whelp, two sides to every story’. But there wasn’t. I had not done anything except exist to have her making shit up about me.
This narrative is hurtful when in regards to people that were attacked and hurt with lies. Particularly given the “both sides” argument was specifically weaponized in this case. She RELIES on this, because people don’t ever believe that somebody just makes shit up wholecloth, that it has to be based in SOMETHING, that the person she’s lying about just can’t own their part in the conflict. That is how the whole scam works, by taking advantage of the benefit of the doubt and the “A, B, and the truth” narrative. We all know logs can be faked, but who ever thinks the one their friend sent them was?
I existed. This brought us into conflict. She lost her shit at me. I stood my ground. She started spouting crap to other people that had no basis in reality. Nothing. Made up things I said. Fabricated stories about things I did. Some people believed her. I, having just dealt with a round of that shit IRL, left. Years later, some person comes at me on a channel utterly unhinged, and then I get Talked To about having driven her off of a game before and not engaging. Who? Her? What? Oh fuck, I remember this ride. I’m not leaving this time, it will eventually come out. We had a repeat of the first time. I held my ground. It eventually came out.
fin.
I do not, will not, agree that this warrants that two sides bullshit. I did not do the things she accuses me of. I did not instigate a conflict. AT MOST, I had something she wanted – and that is not instigation. Anything that could be called “fairly damning” even a LITTLE BIT is fabrication. I was there.
Anyone here can tell people that I own a whole lot of my shares of conflicts. I am not above taking responsibility when I fuck up, because I DO fuck up. Had I done to her what she says I did to her I would be VERY SORRY, because I cannot cope with hurting people like that. I freak out when I think I MIGHT have hurt somebody’s feelings for actual seriousness. I like to fall on my sword if it will make somebody smile again.
The absolute hardest situation (gamewise, lol) I have dealt with in recent history was hard because my ask, “please leave me alone, please stop talking to me” was causing somebody else pain. The conflict spiraled up SHARPLY because protecting me meant hurting somebody I cared about and even though “please leave me alone” should not be hurtful it was still impossible and I got hysterical and the repercussions of that took a LONG time to resolve. Hell, that’s part of why I’m so upset about the current MSB thing – somebody I care about is hurting, but I have to, have to, have to take care of me and do what I feel is right. And that sucks, but there’s just no way around it.
I am messy, but I’m not cruel.
Long story short: Knowing (a very small amount of) what she says about me (and how untruthful that is), what she says about everyone else is just as suspect. Is it POSSIBLE that some of it is true? I guess maybe. Don’t think much of the really outrageous stuff is likely, though.
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@hellfrog me too. What does buy frog to get land mean? Who knows.
Apropos to nothing, I still don’t get and will never get why Narson’s ban stood and my ban got revoked. Gany explained the logic a couple times and I’m just still baffled.
I have a very punchable personality maybe! I honestly think the answer was based on who they liked and the message things sent, not any objective set of standard about what was actually said and done.
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Tangentially, it is irritating that the way the issue is being presented is all about how toxic the Hog Pit was, when:
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The Hog Pit had absolutely nothing to do with what happened, other than serve as a space where the eventual full blow up occurred. From my understanding the kindling was Derp being made an admin and the spark was him being an insensitive dumbass in the politics forum. Making it all about the Hog Pit as though that was the source and the reason is so deeply, willfully ignorant that it gives me a minor internet headache.
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The existence of the Hog Pit is not the fault of the banned, or the ‘clique’, or whatever the hell various ex-posters are being referred to as. It existed because the admin created it and let it stay, as evidenced by the fact that as soon as the admin wanted to they locked it and then changed it. That some of the loudest voices tut tutting over toxicity and people being mean were enthusiastic contributors and participants is just so blatantly insincere, but VK/Hella being one of them given her last post in the Hog Pit all of a few months ago is fucking wild.
Anyhow, enough serious words from me, never going to stop laughing over these being permabans
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You are right, it didn’t come across as I intended. This was my bad. I wasn’t thinking of the other people saying things.
I totally meant VK alone in this. That, my assumption (and we know what that means), is that she is putting some truth in with the lies. Not about you specifically, but in general of what she is saying.
Most (not all) good liars/manipulators put just enough truth to make it believable.
I’m sorry if you thought I was invalidating what you were personally saying. That wasn’t my intention. I fully believe your narrative. Just so you hear that again, I fully believe your narrative. I don’t need receipts or details, they are valid. I’m just sorry if I hurt your feelings or made you think I was saying YOU were the liar in this.
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This morning I tried to send people a few messages to see if I was blocked, because I genuinely did not know. I got a message like this last night when I tried to send a message over discord, and that’s why I used DMs here…
I guess this means I am blocked. I thought it only meant what it said. If it means that I am blocked then… a lot of people have blocked me now. I guess that makes things more clear.
To everyone who blocked me, I’m sorry I caused you enough pain to do that. I no longer think that anyone is going to forgive me, or resolve differences and be friends. If it ever happens I will be happy but I’m not holding out for it anymore. Anyway, just saying sorry.
This is your circle, and I’m outside of it. Stepping out now…
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I guess this means I am blocked. I thought it only meant what it said. If it means that I am blocked then… a lot of people have blocked me now.
You could be blocked, or it could be literally what it said: You need to share a server or be on their friend list to send DMs. Lots of people have that restriction on their accounts to counteract spammers and such.
ETA: Keep in mind, the refugee discord ‘server’ doesn’t exist anymore (at least as far as I can tell) so you don’t have that server in common anymore.
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You could be blocked, or it could be literally what it said: You need to share a server or be on their friend list to send DMs. Lots of people have that restriction on their accounts to counteract spammers and such.
You can turn that restriction off? I thought that was just how Discord works.
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@hobos Do you…lack any sense of self-awareness? Honest question. Because you just keep pick at an issue you’ve been told, multiple times to leave be. You’ve even said yourself that you were leaving it. Only to come back some 12 hours later again and pick at it again. Are we seeing a pattern here?
And at the end of every single one of these statements, you’ll make some kind of self-pitying comment of how “I’ll go away now.” As if you’re expecting someone to take that bait.
You were told, multiple times to stop. And you lacked the common decency to do so. I get that you really want to be this true believer for VK and thar your search for “answers” more and more strikes me as disingenuous. If you want to white knight for her, fine. Thats your hill to die on. But plenty of people somehow, someway, all seem to have very similar experiences. I wonder why that is.
You need to stop. Seriously.
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Please stop. If you actually care, stop, step away, and come back in a few days or even a week or two. You’re making yourself look bad with each new post.
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You could be blocked, or it could be literally what it said: You need to share a server or be on their friend list to send DMs. Lots of people have that restriction on their accounts to counteract spammers and such.
You can turn that restriction off? I thought that was just how Discord works.
… looking at the settings, doesn’t look like it actually. I assumed one could, as with other platforms. I was wrong!
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
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@helvetica said in Bannings:
VK/Hella
I didn’t know who Hella was. lmaoooooo
Yeah, she literally changed her username and started pretending to be a new person right after the banning- spree, and nobody has called her out on it.
Mummy Pun? MUMMY PUN!
She/her -
@helvetica Perfectly normal thing to do at random for no reason at all and not at all sus af
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@hobos
Leaving it be? -
@Jennkryst said in Bannings:
Yeah, she literally changed her username and started pretending to be a new person right after the banning- spree, and nobody has called her out on it.
She’s not in The Clique, so she’s obviously harmless.
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@Jennkryst @Snackness Guess she’s gonna have to do it, again.
@hobos It isn’t anyone’s job to make you feel like you’re intentions have been seen as good, here. All you’ve done is pour salt on many people’s wounds. This has been communicated to you very clearly. That is the only indication many of us have of who you are. No amount of laying that guilt at these people’s feet or whining about forgiveness will change that. Altering your behavior will change that.
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@helvetica said in Bannings:
VK/Hella
I didn’t know who Hella was. lmaoooooo
I’ll use the own snip that somebody else used yesterday.
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The rules of this place mean I cannot say to you the things I want to, right now.
Just to confirm for you. I don’t ever want anything to do with you ever, ever again.
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Look guys, I’m all for like, calling people out and stuff. But if you’re going to berate him for leaving it be or not on one hand, then we also shouldn’t dogpile on it.
