Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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@junipersky said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
But this fucking parent okay? WHERE DO THEY GET OFF that a 2x1 inch flag on the back of a person’s hand means they get to complain that the adult in question is “sharing their political beliefs”.
It’s taken me a while to learn that what people say is less important than what they are trying to do with their speech. This parent isn’t complaining that your sister was being inappropriate, not really. The parent is complaining that your sister is an apostate who must be forced to conform to the orthodoxy of the parent’s beliefs or else fired and sent off to the wastelands where the rest of the heretics shall languish and suffer, removed from the true light.
I share your anger at this parent. My throat is tightening and it’s an effort to keep my jaw unclenched.
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I am constantly reminded why I got out of teaching.
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I would be offended by any of my coworkers being treated like this, but the fact that its my younger-by-eight-years sister makes me want to tear someone’s eyes out.
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I don’t hate kids but I often hate parents.
Also, I hate everyone/anyone who dragged this sort of thing up to use it as fuel for perpetual culture war but that’s another, nastier rant.
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My cat passed suddenly last night with no warning. She was fine, and then she wasn’t, and even though we got her into the car as quickly as we could she didn’t make it to the vet.
We’ve had her for 13 years, and I really wasn’t ready to lose her. I thought we had a good few years left with her. My only consolation is that had it been 10 minutes later we’d have been out at the shops and she’d have been alone, but as it was we were able to tell her everything was gonna be okay.
I’m in fucking pieces. I keep listening for her and being careful where I put my feet and every time it catches me out just how much it hurts. I know that this too shall pass but right now it doesn’t feel like it.
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@Rathenhope I’m so sorry. It’s the worst.
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@Rathenhope I am so so sorry.
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@Rathenhope Understand this so much. We lost our ten year old girl last year (we had her for almost nine of those years, mind you) where she just started crashing hard over a period of two months and suffered heart failure.
It’s still like an empty void in our household.
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@Rathenhope You loved her very much, and she loved you. You were both very blessed to have each other in your lives.
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@Rathenhope I am really sorry for your loss.
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@Rathenhope I want to offer my condolences as well, having been in a similar situation more than once. I still miss Einstein, because he was an affectionate cuddlebug of a stinkpot (including the litterbox), but also a very intelligent cat. Watching him get sick was… depressing. When I got the news he had finally passed on, it was a sad day and even all these years later I still think on him and miss him being around. I don’t remember exactly how old he was, but I think he was at least 13 years old as well, so he lived quite a while.
You’re going to miss her; that’s understandable, and unavoidable, but the point of me saying so is to try not to fight that feeling. The pain of loss can only come from having love for the departed. Bolster the love and minimize the loss with the memories you have of her, and let yourself enjoy the fact that you got to have thirteen years of her company. Time will help with overcoming the loss, but it can never take away the love.
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Husband was in the hospital with COVID-related issues most of this week. He nearly died. I couldn’t be with him, so I took myself to the state fair.
I am proud that I refrained from punching a dude there with an “unvaccinated, unmuzzled, unafraid” shirt.
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@Rathenhope said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
My cat passed suddenly last night with no warning. She was fine, and then she wasn’t, and even though we got her into the car as quickly as we could she didn’t make it to the vet.
We’ve had her for 13 years, and I really wasn’t ready to lose her. I thought we had a good few years left with her. My only consolation is that had it been 10 minutes later we’d have been out at the shops and she’d have been alone, but as it was we were able to tell her everything was gonna be okay.
I’m in fucking pieces. I keep listening for her and being careful where I put my feet and every time it catches me out just how much it hurts. I know that this too shall pass but right now it doesn’t feel like it.
I know this pain too well.
We lost one of our cats in January to pancreatic cancer, which normally only has about a three week survival rate after diagnosis. The thing is, we took him to an oncologist. He was getting special treatment. We were supposed to be buying him a few months more of good time…
So when I woke up one morning almost exactly three weeks after diagnosis and he was Very Suddenly Not Okay, neither were we. The only blessing was that this happened on a day insomniac and I were both home, so we were there and had the chance to take him to the kitty ER. We got to hold him while we said goodbye and thank him for choosing us when so many people thought he was just the coolest cat ever. (Our vet techs legit would argue over who got to treat him post-surgery one time, because most kitty surgical patients were not chill with wound care. He apparently just purred and snuggled through every ice pack and bandage change.)
It’s been eight months and I am still getting choked up writing this. Sometimes I still look for him in the house. Sometimes I find a pair of my husband’s socks on the floor and think I’ve been left a cat present, and then I start crying over a dirty sock like a complete weirdo.
My point in telling you this isn’t to drag you further down, but to let you know that you are absolutely not alone in the feelings you’re having right now. And will probably continue to have in fits and starts for however long your heart decides is right. And that’s okay. Grief is hard and weird and hits you at unexpected moments. It’s that badly attributed quote - “grief is just love with nowhere to go”.
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@shit-piss-love said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
Growing up in the 80s/90s with ADHD was hell.
https://unrollthread.com/t/1534592771792572418/
edit: i doubt it’s much better now
As the mom of two ADHD kiddos, I can assuredly say that for many of them it is not
I mean yeah it might be bettER somewhat due to awareness, like @mietze said, but too often awareness deosn’t translate to action or understanding.
ETA: IDK why my scrolling made me think this post was new and not a month old, but oh well.
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My brother in law loves Great Danes. Nothing wrong with that! They are lovely dogs. Big goofballs, so much fun.
But they are huge, and huge dogs don’t live too long. His was a puppy when my little mut was one; she’s barely past puberty and he has gray hairs on his muzzle.
I’m at the point in my life I just won’t adopt a larger breed at all if I can help it. Having your heart broken is inevitable but - and I know how terrible it is to express pain in numbers - going through that every 18 years is better than every 6.
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Before my current two, I lost my last two 13 years ago. It’s still upsetting to remember.
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I have two ‘quality of life’ surgeries coming up (one at the end of this month), and I can’t shake the fear that because I’m rather medically unlucky, they’ll just somehow end up making things worse or leave me with chronic pain or something.
So basically, hypochondria mixed with general fear of the procedures and recovery.
What also isn’t helping is that my partner has lost two family members (who went in for routine procedures) due to complications with anesthesia, and becomes so worried on my behalf that I actually end up a bit more scared as a result.
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Crying in the car after dropping off my giant fluffball at the vet urgent care. If you have my discord I have probably spammed you pictures of my big fluff sweet to me and a select few others and a menace to everyone else grrrl.
I’m worried bc she’s food motivated and hasn’t eaten in over 24 hours, including not fussing for food. She even refused her fave liquid pouch treat. She also won’t really move around on her own. She still wants to cuddle.
I’m stressed bc getting the bill is bad bc we have our 3 college bills due in the next 2 weeks too but at least we should get some reimbursement from insurance but I feel like I want to throw up and I just want her to be okay and this is horrible timing bc I’m dropping off a college kid at school tomorrow too.
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Vet after doing a brief physical palpation doesn’t think it’s a blockage or anything emergency. She could not complete the full exam because, well, my floof is a vicious beast, and to do anything more they were going to need to sedate her (and the vet did not really want to do that unless I felt strongly about it at this point.) So they are going to shoot her up with antiemetic, which will give her tummy time to resettle and maybe get her interested in eating/drinking. And then is sending her home. Then if she’s not eaten by tomorrow morning that’s a heads up that we may need to go back in tomorrow afternoon and definitely if she starts getting worse. So, I am going to go get my baby right now, and less of a vet bill too, since she didn’t let them do an xray or blood draw.
