An Arx Peeve Thread
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^ What I was expecting tonight. I was delightfully surprised at being wrong.
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@Roz said in An Arx Peeve Thread:
guys i played this whole masquerade scene thinking i was talking to one of aleksei’s friends in a mask and then at the end they took off the mask and it was someone totally different and i’m dying laughing
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@Snackness said in An Arx Peeve Thread:
@MisterBoring Arx II: Untitled Duck Game
I’d do it but no one would give two ducks about a game I’d make like that
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@Apos Take that joke out behind the chemical shed and shoot it as a warning to the others.
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RE: Last Ban
In my experience, Eddard/Michael/Phelan is a manipulative player. We’ve been on multiple games over time.
He can come across friendly and outgoing and generally knows who to push and not. He hides his RP and other RP partners through a variety of shady practices. At the same time telling people alternative stories OOC. He’s even careful how he emits in public, so he can deny what he’s doing and control the situation.
Where it gets more serious, is how he tries to shift the IC relationship to the OOC realm. Relationships are not the problem, but his actions are. He leverages RP to form a relationship under false pretenses and bombards with contact to build a rapport. He then asks for deeply sensitive stuff. If he doesn’t get what he wants, he starts to change and:
- Causes repeated distress
- Makes leading promises
- Uses intimate knowledge to shift blame
- Retreats and returns
- Pushes and breaks boundaries
When confronted about his behavior, he lies to cover it up and makes more promises. When he’s caught; he denies, guilts, deflects, and makes excuses. This pattern of behavior is harmful and can make it harder to report.
The player does this repeatedly, he’s unsafe.
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@anonymouse jesus that’s all fucking GROSS
I can absolutely see how his attempted OOC overtures with me a few years back would have lead down that road; it must have been me shutting him down so firmly that had him scampering off with his tail between his legs.
Basically my character mentioned something in a scene referencing a prior interaction from a good time prior. The player tried to intimate that I was remembering this detail because I must have been rereading prior logs. I’m not an idiot, so grasped the pretty obvious connotation that he was saying I was rereading his TS logs to get off on. I told him that OOCly sexual comments were absolutely not okay to make to me. He backed off and emphasized his good boundaries!! A few days later, he asked if he could send me a light-hearted “build a sub” meme. I said sure because I didn’t realize what type of sub he meant and I literally didn’t stop to realize this was gonna be about subs in the sexual sense of things. He sent me this meme (sexual joke, but no NSFW imagery or anything, for clarity for anyone who clicks) which, tbh, if one of my actual good friends sent it to me about my character or a TS scene or something, would have been funny. From a guy I barely knew that I had just told days before not to make OOCly sexual comments? Nope. I shut it down, he tried to apologize a bit later, and I said I didn’t want any contact with him.
Anyways here’s the full convo: https://pastebin.com/CwSr99Pj (This was with Michael; I censored the name at the time because I just wanted to show it to a friend to roll my eyes at the behavior, and at the time I didn’t feel like I needed anyone rallying to my defense in regards to an individual.)
I’m gonna say this as a general offer to everyone: if someone is getting iffy like this, starting to fish for OOC intimacy like this, and you want someone to be a sounding board or help you shut shit down? If you want someone to look at something and be like “no, you are RIGHT to find that weird, it is VALID to be uncomfortable, this person is trying to pull shit,” I will be that person. If they’re trying to hold some kinky TS over you or make you feel weird about boundaries because you RPed some weird sex shit? I absolutely don’t care. I TS! I RP weird sex shit! It’s okay to do this. If you feel weird or shamed because you feel like you were dumb for already getting involved or lowering your boundaries some? You’re not dumb!! You’re not dumb for connecting a little with another human being just because they abused the fact.
I am a pro at stating boundaries clearly and effectively, and if anyone EVER needs help doing this, I will help. Creepers deserve to be kicked to the curb. Fuck that shit, life is too short.
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@moth Appreciated, but I can at least say that I wasn’t torn up about it when it happened. It felt like a really sad attempt to be smooth/clever, like he thought I wouldn’t notice what he was doing. I feel much worse for whoever he got his hooks into by acting like a friend, preying on their vulnerabilities, or taking advantage of their boundaries.
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Have it on good authority that dude is August@TheNetwork [Ares Handle: JetSetBest] if anyone wants to avoid him over there. Dunno why he untagged, but you know.
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@Roz lol that convo is a lot. Trying not to cringe as I read
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Also, learn from my mistakes: even if an interaction just makes you roll your eyes at some person being an absolutely limp noodle thinking they can creep on you, report it anyways! I should have tossed this to staff as a heads up, even if it didn’t get under my skin. Like, in summarizing it today, I am kind of “wtf” at myself.
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I’m at a loss for words.
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I couldn’t help but notice this thread on the ban list https://play.arxgame.org/comms/boards/19511/view/1504369
A player trying to throw everything/everyone under the bus because things didn’t go well for them? A former staffer(s) abusing their power?
What happened here?
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@catzilla lol.
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My assumption is bad player, but I’m genuinely curious. Who is it to be on the lookout for in future games?
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@catzilla There was no abuse of power. Many warnings were given and IC actions have IC consequences, especially when dealing with an evil NPC, or in this case, several. Someone fucked around and found out, and rather than have a conversation OOC or otherwise about it (the condition was temporary), they stomped off. That message was the first time we had heard anything from them since.
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Yeah, at a meeting where it was kinda clear someone had already been killed for crossing a certain NPC faction too many times, she kept mouthing off (and iirc vaguely threatening?) several of said NPCs to their faces, ignoring every flashing red warning sign and road closed notice on her merry ride off the proverbial predictable consequences cliff.
Genuinely the hardest thing about playing evil NPCs is balancing responses to this stuff, because on the one hand players want to have their characters be cool and fearless and often snarky toward NPCs, which is just fine to a point because they’re the main characters, but on the other hand the NPCs are characters with their own thoughts and agendas, and while Team Good NPCs will (usually) put up with it to a certain long-suffering degree, there are a lot less excuses you can make for a Team Evil NPC not squashing an underling for continuously jabbing at them. If you want to have Team Evil NPCs around (and players really do want to be able to interact with them), then there’s a balance that has to be found between toothless doormat and doing the daily Darth Vader.
Usually that’s some sort of non-fatal, typically temporary (or undoable) thing that the PC can RP about it. It wasn’t at all meant to be an OOC punishment, but clearly she took it that way.
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@kalakh Heh. I absolutely get why people want to flirt with the obvious baddies. Ari was pretty much set up to do so, as some baddies were SHOWERING him with gifts and affection.
But, since Ari wasn’t a complete crazy person, I had him unnerved by it all, and turning to heavy drinking instead of just endangering everything and everyone he cared about to go play with the shiny NPCs.
Gotta temper the Cool Stuff factor with giving your PC at least a shred of common sense.
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@kalakh My favorite part was when she broke out in Quebec French with insults. IC.
