POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided
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@Roz duuuuuude need option to vote “RP with them anyway and just hope I’m being so boring & difficult they never ask me to RP again.”
On Dragon Wings · https://pern.gaslightswitch.com · pern.gaslightswitch.com port 4201
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@KarmaBum said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:
@Roz duuuuuude need option to vote “RP with them anyway and just hope I’m being so boring & difficult they never ask me to RP again.”
This is me. This is my truth xD I will generally always RP with someone if they ask even if I am like ‘ehhh’
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secret third thing
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@KarmaBum said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:
@Roz duuuuuude need option to vote “RP with them anyway and just hope I’m being so boring & difficult they never ask me to RP again.”
Yeah, there was no ‘play with them anyway’ option; unless there’s an Active Issue, I will engage with people I don’t like much if they enjoy me.
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oh i’m dumb, that was a pretty big oversight as far as options go
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*Peeks at early results*
Well, at least we’re all pretty similarly poor at treating as we’d like to be treated. Unity!
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okay i added options of “RP with the person anyways” (and also a counterpoint that i found hilarious of “they should RP with me anyways!” on the other poll), sorry i’m a mess, this polling methodology is SUSPECT
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I have more to say and it’s too much of a different post to edit in.
If I don’t like somebody / enjoy their RP, I won’t play 1:1 privately with them, but unless there’s an Active Issue personality conflict, I’m gonna say yes. I just suggest a list of ideas that are all public, and go play in public with them – RP begets RP, so somebody else almost always shows up.
If there’s an Active Issue, everybody involved knows it, and I prefer it if people in this category 100% pretend I don’t exist. If we wind up in the same place, ignore my poses, and I will ignore yours, and everybody is happy. It is 100% possible to do this with courtesy to make it easy on the avoider/avoidee, and if both do, it causes zero problems.
eta: god I have a lot to say on this topic. My BFF doesn’t post here, but she would corroborate this for me: 7 times out of 10, if I grit my teeth and RP anyway with this person I remember not enjoying…I have fun, and walk away having found something I do like about them. Which is why my policy is to play anyway. I have gotten a LOT lot lot lot lot better about finding things I do like about people in the last few years, though. I have been practicing “assume positive intent” like mad and it’s starting to pay off. A lot.
the entity previously known as Sunny
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@Roz said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:
okay i added options of “RP with the person anyways” (and also a counterpoint that i found hilarious of “they should RP with me anyways!” on the other poll), sorry i’m a mess, this polling methodology is SUSPECT
It won’t let me fix my answer.
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@IoleRae said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:
@Roz said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:
okay i added options of “RP with the person anyways” (and also a counterpoint that i found hilarious of “they should RP with me anyways!” on the other poll), sorry i’m a mess, this polling methodology is SUSPECT
It won’t let me fix my answer.
I’m sorry
I’m a poll failure I did set it so that it’s one vote per browser session, rather than locking to IP or anything, so I think you should be able to make a NEW vote, but I don’t think you can edit a vote since I didn’t turn on the option to require names
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@IoleRae said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:
7 times out of 10, if I grit my teeth and RP anyway with this person I remember not enjoying…I have fun, and walk away having found something I do like about them.
Unless something egregious happened, I don’t put anyone on my Avoid List unless it’s been many scenes or over a long period of time. That’s how I answered the poll, anyway.
Which: I prefer to avoid unless asked directly, and I would also like someone to avoid me unless I ask them directly.
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Yeah I think I usually just rp anyway. There are definitely people I have ended up avoiding or who have avoided me, but like… idk unless there’s a real good reason I’d generally rather waste my time and energy on someone I don’t like than make active effort to avoid rp or be direct with someone abt not wanting to deal with them. I play direct people but I am very avoidant of conflict and I hate making other people uncomfortable so if the only person I am going to inconvenience is myself I will almost always choose that path.
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My instinct to be direct conflicts with my preference not to hurt anyone’s feelings.
This is all for fun pretendy times but the things folks say to one another on the internet, even over the silly medium of a silly game, can follow people out into the real world, and I don’t mind giving someone a shot, or simply keeping my mouth shut, to err on the side of not giving someone a reason to beat themselves up over what is most likely extremely inconsequential. This hobby attracts sensitive, neurodivergent, anxious, depressed people, and truly I would much rather give someone the time of day than contribute to any feelings of worthlessness on the part of anyone – even a nerd acting out on a video game.
Wanting or not wanting to play a game with someone is inconsequential, no matter how well thought-out the dissertation of reasons is. It doesn’t matter.
Will a direct conversation make this person a better RPer for me, for others? Will it clear up an outstanding issue? Are they actually crossing boundaries and making me uncomfortable? Are they harmless, just a little awkward, could probably use a break?
I don’t have a uniform answer to these survey questions because I don’t think there’s a uniform way they present themselves.
But generally, as in the real world, I find that the right answer is usually to shut up and be nice.
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I’m pretty allergic to OOC so the scenario of me personally not liking someone would come down to not enjoying their style of play. I chose “play with them anyway” because I’m gonna put IC first. I’ve played plenty with people whose style wasn’t my favorite. I’m not gonna let that get in the way of what I’m enjoying, be it a particular plot or group or whatever.
As for someone who doesn’t like me? Just avoid me if I bother you I guess and keep your opinion to yourself.
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@KarmaBum said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:
@Roz duuuuuude need option to vote “RP with them anyway and just hope I’m being so boring & difficult they never ask me to RP again.”
another reason to be constantly paranoid and self-conscious that no one likes your RP but no one is ever going to tell you that your RP isn’t interesting
Yay, new topic for my therapist next Monday.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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I am CRUSHED by even the slightest sense someone doesn’t like me at first (I grow a thicker skin over time and usually rationalize why it is okay) so having someone bluntly tell me they want me to not intact sucks.
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I’d rather people just be direct, but I know that’s difficult. I’ve only ever had one person come out and tell me they didn’t want any interaction with me and I said okay and made an effort not to encroach on their space if we happened to be in the same scene.
Then they sought me out for a bunch of things and I walked on eggshells the whole time trying to make sure I didn’t offend them and helped them out as much as I could at every opportunity and it was so stressful because I was like IS THIS OKAY? but obviously I didn’t feel like I could or should ever page them to be like ???
Much like @IoleRae if I don’t like someone I won’t actively avoid them, I just won’t seek them out. If they come into a scene I’m in, whatever, it’s fine. Unless they get weirdly stalkery about it. Even then when that happens I’m going to be the one that just…stops RPing.
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@DrQuinn Yes please. As someone who has a hard time when he isn’t told the ‘why’ of a thing(and yes, I’m not always allowed a why and that is hard to remember for me. I’m working on it), just tell me.
Blunt, not blunt. If you don’t to RP with because we don’t jive or because my RP just plain sucks, tell me. That way you’re not being bothered by my asking. And I won’t waste your time.
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@Testament lol there’s no winning
It’s really a little more like what @IoleRae was saying - I’ll usually RP with people even if I’m kinda meh. The reasons vary wildly from “hoping maybe they’ll improve with practice” to “they’re generally nice OOC and here to have fun.” There are people I like but with whom I have shit chemistry, but I’ll usually give it a go if we’re both still willing to try!
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@DrQuinn said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:
I’ve only ever had one person come out and tell me they didn’t want any interaction with me and I said okay and made an effort not to encroach on their space if we happened to be in the same scene.
Then they sought me out for a bunch of things and I walked on eggshells the whole time trying to make sure I didn’t offend them and helped them out as much as I could at every opportunity and it was so stressful because I was like IS THIS OKAY? but obviously I didn’t feel like I could or should ever page them to be like ???
That’s so – wtf. I had someone once who made it clear they did not want interaction from me – and that was mutual, so absolutely no skin off my nose – but then later something of theirs was getting handed off to me and I was like, “Sorry we don’t interact,” and the third party (a lovely person, not involved in the conflict in anyway) said “Oh they said it was okay.” And I was kind of like, SHRUGHANDS I still don’t wanna touch their stuff whether or not they’ve suddenly decided they’re okay with interacting with me.
