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MU Peeves Thread
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Please, it’s ok if you have to go AFK, but if it’s going to be like, an hour… let me know before hand if you could? That’d be swell.
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It’s like being on a PDD. You do your community service hours and report every second Monday to the DA’s office to update them.
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@spiriferida one thing I don’t understand about that is – what do you rp about? If you’re always together?
as previously stated, good day.
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lol lmao
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@Herja the only man I’ll ever love
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@farfalla my favorite long term romantic RP happened in a vacuum, it was very episodic with lots of emotional crisis and character flaws and injected drama from background characters and obstacles.
But it was never ‘just with them’, we had other RP and stories we told with other people.
And then it evolved into adventures and other stories and worlds and jumping into online places with other people and honestly I think I accrued many friends from that kind of start.
My less favorites were from possessive partners that were like the original peeve. I don’t stick around for those types longer than a single scene, long enough for me to go ‘oh no not another one’.
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@spiriferida said in MU Peeves Thread:
@tsar we didn’t get to that point in the discussion, but they were kind enough to clarify that they only meant my RP time, not my time in general.
Oh wow, that’s so generous of them.
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@spiriferida said in MU Peeves Thread:
The notion that a romantic partner to my character should be the person I spend the most time RPing with - 70% of it, apparently.
unsurprisingly my character is no longer in a relationshipHonestly, this seems to be a common expectation. Not that exact number, obviously, but the idea that IC significant-others should be the priority in RP.
I don’t like RPing with the same person over and over and over, I like to share the love as it were. So if I’ve already RP’d with someone that week (or so) then I don’t really like RPing with them again until I’ve had some scenes with others.
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My RP relationship peeve stems off this topic. While I surely cannot devote all my time to an IC relationship (definitely not 70%), I’ve recently been triggered by my need for monogamy and my settling for don’t ask don’t tell. My character mentioned this was such a great aspect of their relationship because she didn’t want to know of the other people, if there were other people, and the person my character was with literally replied with something like “you should meet them…” Only to then find out someone who triggered me on game earlier was still in the partner’s rotation of lovers.
I basically told the player I couldn’t do this even if I enjoyed the story, even if I still thought they were very nice and had fun while it lasted. I was just so triggered. Now I’m hesitant to involve any character that deeply because I will feel guilty for not being on enough to satisfy the IC relationship needs of the other player. I know this sounds super messed up and it’s a very low self-esteem thing. It’s just a bad trigger. I want to be ‘cool’ and all monogamy is for the birds, but I would be lying to myself and the other person.
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@Birdie Something you said here kind of triggered me in a way.
It’s ok to be monogamous. It doesn’t have to have anything to do with self-esteem. Some people are just not built for polygamy and that is perfectly ok. Don’t feel like you’ve done /anything/ wrong by not wanting to be in a polygamous relationship.
Don’t ask, don’t tell, I don’t know if I could even go that far with some characters, and I know I couldn’t RL so please, don’t feel like you’ve done anything wrong.
You set up a line, a boundary, and /they/ pushed it, broke it, and hop scotched right across it. That is not your fault, they disrespected your boundaries and your choices.
Very not cool of them.
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At this point, I personally am so off the mere IDEA of IC/RP relationships that I can’t see ever having anything but off-screen significant others.
That’s something that can/will change if I feel the right ‘click’ between my PC and another, but honestly, at this point? I kind of hope that never happens.
It’s nice not to feel like I ‘owe’ any one person or story anything whenever I login, that I can just glance at WHO, glance at messages/messengers, browse boards and choose something that suits my mood at the moment and go for it without worrying about the consequences of someone else’s feelings.
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Years and years and years ago I got into an IC relationship with someone and I made it very clear that I was not interested in any jealousy RP or cheating storylines or anything like that. They swore up and down OOCly and ICly that the IC relationship was The One and The Best Love Story Ever Told etc, etc. and it was really, really fun.
And then one day in my standard bar scene RP I was confronted by The Other Woman. Turned out there were several other people the player had been winding up and he had been looking forward to the big blowout fight over his PC. I noped out of there instantly.
Since then I really tend to just do IC relationships with people I know and trust OOCly.
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My favorite was my neurotic greenrider with @tsar 's alt because when it was done we stayed friends and I liked that. It doesn’t always go that way.
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I am very cautious these days. I am not looking for an OOC romance – happily married in real life, thank you. I am not looking for a stalker. I’m not looking to be accused of being a stalker. I’m not looking for an Indian scammer convincing me and half a dozen others to send her money during a life crisis. I’m not looking for a supposed friend who suddenly drops contact with no warning and then acts as if I’d murdered their firstborn.
All of the above have happened.
When I can find somebody who’s interested in OOC chill and IC drama, with respect for boundaries and not wanting to be the only person I play with though? I’m game.
Any pronouns. Come to Chincoteague. We have ponies. http://keys.aresmush.com
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@L-B-Heuschkel said in MU Peeves Thread:
I’m not looking for an Indian scammer convincing me and half a dozen others to send her money during a life crisis.
… well there goes my plan to start a gofundme.
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
@Pavel That’s exactly what she did.
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This is why I almost exclusively ship with friends. The risk is high with strangers.
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I TRIED!! You /denied/ me. I even fed the cat.
LOL
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@RightMeow said in MU Peeves Thread:
I TRIED!! You /denied/ me. I even fed the cat.
LOL<laugh> And, of course, the characters have to click! No, really, I take a very long time making up my mind to try something like it because I’ve been very badly burned a handful of times and games are supposed to not be stressful, you know?
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I love romance/relationship play, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. But it’s also got an assumption of risk there that can be pretty stressful.
Will our activity levels be compatible over time? (the answer to that is probably NO, because of the nature of RL and mushing, but then that leads to–)
Is there an okay way to weave in a no harm/no foul parting if that incompatibility persists for long enough that it causes issues for the active player? (this could be as simple as being able to nudge a friend oocly and talk about it briefly, or not writing in an expectation of total exclusivity)
I really enjoy complex situation RP. But having both been the RP partner that had to take an extended leave, and also having been left relatively incommunicado for months and months or being told yes I want to play but then it’s just not possible/no show/ect when I know it’s less personal and just more RL reality–that doesn’t feel great either. I’m often reluctant to want to put that kind of pressure on someone or not have a relatively painless out so that I’m not deprived of a kind of RP I like because of extended absence. I’ve always wanted to do a political marriage situation on Arx, for example, and might be willing to risk exploring that with a new to me person, but there’s also most of the time an expectation of exclusivity right off the bat that I’m not comfortable with on an OOC level with someone I don’t know. Though I guess that’s part of taking the time to know one’s potential RP partner in that regard to see if they’ve got the kind of activity level that would mitigate some of the worries.
So I mean, there’s no right or wrong here even as I think about what I like in RP partnerships that move into IC romance. It’s so highly situational. I do think romantic partners TEND to become part of the group of IC connections that really enhance my experience on any game, and can affect morale oocly when/if they disappear unexpectedly or long term and then I have to muddle through figuring that out in a way that is respectful to them and the RP leading to that point, but isn’t overly isolating. I don’t personally feel there’s anything better about not wanting the fairy tale ending! I’m a sucker for that too. But I also think there are good reasons for people to leave some space for unexpected changes, and it’s not even because they’re in to nonmonogamy per se or are always looking to jump ship.
