Eddie is certainly doing a good job of making the original accusations seem very likely to be spot on.

@Coin 500 words a day. Every day. It worked for Terry Pratchett.

Moreover, it worked for me. I finally published my first this spring.

@kalakh I had somebody pull the ‘some people expressed concern to me’ line on me as late as last week.

There is only one appropriate answer. If these people will not stand up themselves and voice their concerns, or at the very least allow their names to be used, then their complaint is invalid.

People with concerns should go to staff and make themselves known. At the very least they should allow the person they pick to talk to staff to identify them. Because it’s bloody easy to pull ‘some people agree with me, actually everyone does’ out of your arse, and there is no way to verify that these people even exist.

Being a disabled person who can only leave the house with a helper and isn’t even able to drive a car themselves – and still being able to be part of a community of people and have a social life.

That’s what Mushing is for me.

Agreed. Tone policing is essentially a tool to silence those whose polite protests got them nothing, in order to maintain the status quo.

I had one of those sleepless nights where old stuff finishes ruminating in your mind and finally bubbles to the surface. Now to unload it so I can go on to other ruminations.

Red flags. I’ve had a few experiences in this hobby with people who I would, without being a medical professional, definitely armchair diagnose as malignant narcissists at worst – and players who use and discard other players like NPCs at best.

If somebody says this to you in a private conversation, run.

“I have a black belt in charm.”
“I am/we are the darlings/power couple of the game.”
“I can win anyone over.”
“Many players are jealous of my success but I know you’re different.”
“I play for me, others will have to find their own fun.”

And other things like them, I’m sure.

These statements aren’t all one hundred per cent wrong: We are all responsible for finding our own fun instead of having it served up on a plate, for example.

But they’re also all direct quotes from people who – well, let’s just say that I don’t need to talk to any of those people again.

Personally, my experience is that people are willing to accept amazing and terrifying amounts of consequences, even very negative such, as long as they feel that it matters.

No one wants their character to lose a leg and no one cares. But if losing a leg means the villain gets outed and everyone goes around all ‘thank you for your sacrifice’, then it’s juuuuuust fine.

People want to matter.

On popular request: The story of the girl who thought she was marrying my partner.

So, this was back in the 1990s – 'round 96 if I remember correctly. The date matters because cybersecurity and whatnot really wasn’t a big thing yet. Partner and I both played on LegendMUD.

Partner hung out a lot with a chick from Detroit and her friends. I had my crowd I went stabbing things with so nothing unusual there.

One day, a large care package arrived. Chocolate, a vinyl with ‘our song’, Red Sox kit (partner has no interest in hockey), scented candles.

In retrospect, this is where we should have started to question but, we weren’t really sure what to think.

Then she announced to partner that she’d bought the plane tickets and was arriving in a couple of weeks. Couldn’t wait to get married!

That, of course, rang all the alarm bells and set off an investigation on the game – where I was a builder at the time so I had a pretty decent rapport with the admins.

Partner had complained a few times that they lost gear or logged into the game somewhere else than expected. They’re a forgetful type though, so…

So the admins looked through paging history and private correspondence. And it turned out that some other guy from Denmark had been logging the character in and, to be blunt, convinced this American girl to come to Denmark to marry him.

This is where the obvious question is, how the hell can I trust partner to not be the culprit? Well. To be just as blunt again – partner’s English levels aren’t up to what those pages and letters contained.

Needless to say there was quite an uproar. Girl accused partner of abuse and gaslighting – other guy denied everything – and obviously, the trip to Europe was cancelled, more so when girl found out that partner and I were in fact already married.

https://twitter.com/lbheuschkel/status/1536026867471466496

Have to link the video rather than a picture. Those are my girls, running around for the joy of life.

Not just youth. Also standards.

When I was 25 and had all night and nothing to compare with, I would jump into anything. Even the most atrocious, brain-numbing roleplay was good roleplay.

Now I’m 51 and I don’t have all night and I’m not going to waste time and energy on stuff that’s boring the hell out of me while hoping that a miracle happens.

Have to throw my two cents in with the people who already advised against sharing such a list, too. Which is not to say that you shouldn’t know who you’re banning on sight. Just don’t take somebody else’s word for it.

Instead of a list of names, decide what behaviour you have zero tolerance with. Ban anyone who engages in it.

Only banned once or twice. That said, always had a very clear policy following Wheaton’s Law (“Don’t be a dick”). People know when they’re being assholes. If they’re being assholes, they need to be somewhere else. This is a private party and if you piss on the carpet, you will be escorted off the premises. The clearer that is, the fewer people seem to feel a need to test limits.

There are a few people whom I’d ban on sight. Those are the known predators who have a history of causing game meltdowns or driving away vulnerable players. I wouldn’t invite a known predator into my house in real life, either.

On the other hand, a few people who have been problematic elsewhere, have turned new leaves on Keys and never caused trouble. Sometimes, people do learn from their mistakes and just need a fresh start.

The most arguments I’ve watched around banning and behaviour were on games where game policy was three pages long and waffling. The shorter and more concise it is, the less attempts to rules lawyer out of trouble. Because people do indeed know when they’re being assholes.

It’s also a hobby that’s friendlier to neurospicy folks than many others. The percentage of players who have autism or ADHD or any combination thereof is surprisingly high.

As I said elsewhere – if I had a single spoon to spare from Keys, I’d be over here, rolling up an arrogant Alphatian nobleman. Prince Haldemar, move over, there’d be a new explorer in town.

That. FS3 would not have been my first choice – I have a literal complete game system of my own design sitting right next to me – but FS3 has one thing that Imagines doesn’t: It’s coded and integrated with Ares.

Isn’t that the issue for a lot of us? We may have a little code savvy but not quite that much. Custom code is a buttpain to maintain a lot of the time, too.

@crawfish said in Your first game?:

@L-B-Heuschkel Heeey this was my first MU, around the same time too.

Haha, who were you? I was Kae/Tancred/Marcel et all!

LegendMUD back in about 1996 – it had a pretty decent RP aspect back then. No idea whether it does today, I haven’t visited in 20 years.

Long time no see, Jules! Hope everything is well!

Ye gods, DiscworldMUD. So many coded minigames, from crafting to shop running, to actual, literal games – poker? Board games? It was all there.

@somasatori With a lot of international players, we do see discussions that are genuine discussions. But they’re between people who disagree on fairly minor issues – not from either extreme. Frankly, I don’t think that gap is bridgeable anymore, and I’m not sure it should be even attempted.