Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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I hope everyone who lives in or has loved ones in LA is safe.
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The parent(s) of student(s) at my district were picked up by ICE and detained. The student(s) are with family, but it’s still shaking up this tiny-ass rural, progressive island community. And it’s shaking up me too even if I’m white as Wonder Bread.
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Child’s parents are having their termination of rights trial this week. On the advise of all of the professionals husband and I did not go. Our kiddo is the most emotionally affected and we want to be present for her - and also not hear/see the garbage/evidence put up and have it impact our opinions on things. (We know that the parents are going to try to paint the kids as liars who just made up stories during the forensic interviews, and that the county is putting up poster sized images of what kiddo has drawn in her journals.)
But hearing NOTHING is driving me beyond madness. Especially since child is home sick with a fever I’m 95% sure is nerves. (She wants to go home to mom and dad but also can’t argue that she feels safe and loved with us and doesn’t want to leave us either.)
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So the trial… isn’t over. They ran out of time and so scheduled an additional two days in June. We aren’t very happy about the 60 extra days the defense gets but bio parents haven’t made much movement in the last 24 months, so what can legit happen in 60 days? That is eight more visits with the kids apiece.
Kiddo didn’t go to visit this last week because she had a fever - and she has been amazing. We are babying her a lot, but she is still getting upset about stuff then COMING BACK to regulation without losing her mind. Our only big battle was getting her back into her own bed from the nest wr made her on the floor next to ours.
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We are trying to figure out if my mom is “actively dying”. Dementia fucking sucks.
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@Snackness God. I’m so sorry for you and your family.
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@Snackness said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
We are trying to figure out if my mom is “actively dying”. Dementia fucking sucks.
;.;
There’s been some side-eying given to a family member in my case as well, because they have been saying and doing certain things that seem like a precursor to it, or outright misremembering if not forgetting certain things.
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We had a huge set-back in the case. Back in April they had a week of trial to terminate rights, and didn’t finish because the father’s lawyer objected so much. They scheduled two more days, and those happened this week. We were SURE it would wrap up but…
- Father’s lawyer’s witness arrived late and so they were delayed starting.
- The father’s lawyer didn’t issue a subpoena to his witness, so when she said “Wlep, it is 1, I have to go,” they couldn’t compell her to stay. The county didn’t get a chance to cross the witness.
Because of 1 and 2, the county objected and said fhay if they didn’t get to cross her whole testimony should be tossed. The judge, professionally pissed, agreed to add another day.
In July.
Our hopes that this would end this summer are officially squashed because they will need to also allow time for closing arguments (they are having them written and submitted to the judge.)
Mom also fucked up big time this week. During their visit she pulled older sister aside and asked if she was SURE their father had touched her. Older sister went into hysterics and only calmed down once her foster mom was there. They ended the visit.
All the kids have been given the power now to say if they want to go to visit or not. It just needs to be recorded. Eldest sister’s GAL is also submitting a motion for visits to end for her, but the other two GALs won’t be.
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My mom died today.
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@Snackness I’m so, so sorry. Is there anything you need we can send? I cannot imagine the heartbreak.
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@Jenn My dad and I have a solid support system in place, but I really appreciate the offer. It means a lot.
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@Snackness Take care of each other. And we’re all here for support if you need to chat it out away from other folks who might not be ready to talk about stuff the way you might need. to do so.
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@Snackness My deepest condolences for you and your family. It’s so hard, even when it’s something you know is a possibility.
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@Snackness Honey, I am so, so sorry.
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@Snackness said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
My mom died today.
I’m sorry for your loss, having been there myself nearly 28 years ago. I’m glad to hear you both have a support system during such a time.
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<3<3<3 @Snackness and I am glad you have a support system but I am definitely thinking of you.
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@junipersky I hate to say it, but even though permanency is super important to kids, the likelihood is that the court will terminate and then the parent will immediately appeal. I dunno about yours but our department typically won’t finalize adoption while appeal is still pending because it is SUCH a mess if lightning strikes and a term is reversed. If they aren’t warning you about this, beware optimism.
I’m sorry you’re going through this – reminds me of a time we had to stop mid term and do a mistrial because a parent testified that they were high on the stand. Had to start over 5 weeks later in front of a different judge. Term trials are very hard to schedule especially in jurisdictions without a lot of court availability. Winceing at that failure to subpoena because I have been in that boat-- sometimes IDK who my witnesses are until my dependency parent shows up with them at the term trial and demands we let them testify. Our AAG used to let them because she knew a witness like that was unlikely to hurt her case against the parent and the failure to offer evidence could give them grounds for that appeal.
I hope I am wrong and your final orders are actually final but it sounds like there’s some obstinacy, so. Fingers crossed for you.
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@Snackness I’m so sorry.
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Y’know, I understand why I am not allowed to request a refill (for meds I’m meant to be on for the rest of my life) until a week or less before I am out, but it almost invariably takes three weeks to get the rx actually filled, what with it having to be re-pre-approved every time and the process for getting it re-pre-approved involves throwing the request away and not telling anybody that they need to sign off on it, while telling me the script will be ready in two days so I have to drive around trying to pick it up and then call my doc’s PA, near tears, and beg her to tell the doc to pre-approve it again without ever being asked to and in spite of it being pre-approved four times a year for the last 16 years.
This is just eugenics, they hope eventually my queer disabled working-poor parasite-class ass will die from this or get so tired and frustrated I kill myself.
But why the hell is it happening to my DOG? I’m paying out of pocket. I’m paying extra for expedited shipping. And I still can’t get four dewormer pills, ffs. Call up my vet, tell them my dog’s shedding tapeworm proglottids, they get me a rush-appointment the very next day, but it’s been three weeks dicking around trying to get somebody to fill the script and I am still waiting for it to get here.
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@Gashlycrumb said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
But why the hell is it happening to my DOG? I’m paying out of pocket. I’m paying extra for expedited shipping. And I still can’t get four dewormer pills, ffs. Call up my vet, tell them my dog’s shedding tapeworm proglottids, they get me a rush-appointment the very next day, but it’s been three weeks dicking around trying to get somebody to fill the script and I am still waiting for it to get here.
Are you using Wedgewood? We had to use Wedgewood for our senior cat’s methimazole for years and I despised them. The only, only good thing about his passing was thinking I’d never have to deal with them again…
Until our vet had to prescribe compounded antibiotics rather than the regular kind for our dog that’s been struggling with other major health issues since March. It took them over three days to even acknowledge they’d received the prescription from the vet, let alone do anything with it. But hey, it’s cool. It’s not like my dog has an uncontrolled infection or anything while they’re sitting around with their thumbs up their collective ass.
We had better experiences for mail order prescriptions with Covetrus, but I’ll warn you they were also way more expensive.
