Real life happy
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@sao Gratz!
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I’ve been holding on to a lot of old RP stuff, even though it only made me sad to think about how some of it ended.
After my google being like “Yo, you’re RUNNING OUT OF MEMORY” (because I’ve had this email address for almost 20 years now), I finally purged it all.
Then I went and did a massive housecleaning on my gmail account since I never delete anything.
Went from 11.5gb, to 5.47gb.
None of it is “real”, but I still feel more free.
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I’m 38 years old and am two days into a Bachelor of Information Technology.
That in and of itself isn’t super amazing really I guess. Not in the context of me being me at least, I’ve flunked out of multiple universities multiple times.
But, at the risk of counting my chickens before they’ve hatched, this time feels different. I’m actually managing my time properly and not procrastinating.
I even noticed today that I was so invested in reading the stuff I was meant to be reading that I didn’t even notice the time going by. It felt good.
So, knock on wood, maybe I’ve got this!
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Our first foster child is arriving any minute.
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13 hours in. No one has died and/or cried yet. So this is good. She is safe at school and all is fine.
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I submitted my first short story to Amazon. It’s cheesy erotica, but… I already have my second ready to edit, I have my community pages built out, and the hard work of just doing the first one is done.
I’m really fucking excited for this.
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@junipersky That’s awesome! I hope it goes well. We just passed the 5 year anniversary of adopting our kiddo from foster care, and that was after 3 1/2 years of dealing with the system. The best advice I ever got was to scan and save every single document you have to turn in anywhere, because 1) they will lose it so you’ll have to resend it, and 2) you’ll have to fill out the same form again in 6 months.
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I had an injury last year and was sidelined by debilitating back pain for almost 10 months. I think I’m a tough customer, but back pain humbles everyone. After a lot of time spent depressed and listless because I couldn’t walk, sit, stand, or lay comfortably for longer than half an hour and a lot of physical therapy, I’m pain free now.
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@Val I know just how you feel. I spent the last several years with a mistaken diagnosis of a back injury: it was a hip injury. Now that I’m getting the correct therapies, my life is just–I can’t even. If someone reading this doesn’t know what it’s like to be in constant pain, and for that pain to go away, then I’m not even gonna try to explain it. I don’t want anyone to ever understand that.
Sorry, got sidetracked. Point is, I’m so happy your life is better.
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All the cherry trees are blossoming suddenly in my neighborhood and it is so beautiful!! And it’s sunny! And I remembered to squirt me some Flonase before sitting outside and weeding so I won’t be a mess later, at least in the allergy sort of way.
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This is a vent and a happy, but I’m posting it here because I’m choosing to focus on the positive so follow me for my roller coaster ride.
I got laid off from my job today. (Booo!)
Tomorrow is my birthday! (Yay!)
My boss said it is no fault of my own, I’m amazing and it’s the company downsizing so she’s giving me severance and has provided a glowing recommendation letter. (Yay!)
My entire household is sick. (Boo!)
I already have three interviews set up after an afternoon of application submissions. (Yay!)
My mini panther is giving me early birthday cuddles! (YAAAAY!)
So yeah.
Real footage of me today:
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An All Happy Update!
I’m now older (still waiting on that wiser part)!
The household is less sick.
I got a job offer today!
I still have mini panther cuddles.
As a side note, another real life happy is how much I’ve improved with handling my anxiety even in the last year. Before when I’ve lost my job I’ve fallen into overwhelming depression with self deprecating panic. This time I stayed calm, focused on what positive I still had and knew the situation would change it wasn’t an ‘if’ it was a ‘when’.
Idk if that’s the wiser part. Either way it feels pretty great.
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I’m so happy for you!! Losing a job is such a gut punch.
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@junipersky Thank you! While it was awesome of them to give me severance and a recommendation letter it was almost worse that it wasn’t because of any mistake on my part?
It’s legitimately the “It’s not you it’s me” of the work world
That being said it’s let me catch up on the forums the past few days and OMG! So glad to see your own updates. How have you been? As one person to another who’s in that journey currently, you are amazing and you got this!
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It has been 3 weeks today!!
She is still in her honeymoon phase, but I’m starting to see the shift happening where she is losing her ‘public’ face and her trauma is raising its head like in past houses. I’m banking every yes I can give her right now, and if I have to leave because she has started to get physical I tell her how long it will be till I come back to check on her again. Even if she isn’t in a rational mind right then, the words will be in the air she isn’t alone.
I got to meet her BFFs mother, and former foster parent, and then she introduced me to another woman currently fostering. We exchanged numbers and went out this morning for Starbucks. They talked a lot and I was able to just blurt out questions generally along the line of “I’ve been doing x,” and generally they affirmed what I was doing, and then also added a handful of ways to tweak said things when they stop working (because they will!). One of them I was like “Well duh!” (Get her help picking out a toothbrush and hairbrush!) and I’m going to do it.
It was such a blessing.
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@junipersky That’s fantastic! You’re doing a great job. Just remember in your moments when you see her disappointment or are overwhelmed, you are human and you are allowed to be learning during this process as well.
What we did that helped is use the word ‘consequence’ instead of ‘punishment’ and then limiting screen time rather than physical discipline obviously or sending them to their rooms.
There will be a lot you realize after the fact that you beat yourself up for not knowing, but again you’re learning too. What matters is you care enough to be there. Every kid is different and every journey is different.
As for the toothbrush/hairbrush thing YES we had that duh moment too. We have realized the more choices they have or can help with the better. They pick what snacks go in their snack drawers each week. Sometimes it’s the same stuff sometimes it’s new food. They pick what scent soap they want for their bathroom. They pick Youtube, Movie or Roblox for family time at night.
Anyways I’m rambling. That affirmation goes a long way for you too so I know that must have felt good to receive. In case you haven’t gotten it in awhile, you are doing AWESOME and keep it up!
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Sitting in an unexpected sunbreak while the pacific ocean wind is in my face watching seabirds dive under and sailboats and big ships go by is not a bad way to kill time while waiting for one of my kids to wrap up his last meeting before we head home for spring break!!
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My husband is finishing his degree this Spring and a while back he applied to his ideal job but it’s government thing so they’re very slow moving. He’s been agonizing over this for a while but yesterday he got the news that he’s been selected! It was a tentative job offer, but he did the intake stuff and is now waiting for the official word.
So he’s excited and I’m excited because this opens up a bunch of opportunities for us if he does get it (which I am confident that he will)!
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Government jobs take FOREVER. It took almost four months for my husband to finally get his tentative job offer with the county sheriff.
