Numetal/Retromux
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Not my department, but I’m pretty sure no one has ever been banned for reporting harassment. I’d wager anyone claiming such is probably leaving out some pieces of a much messier story.
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@Captain-Howdy said in Numetal/Retromux:
I’d wager anyone claiming such is probably leaving out some pieces of a much messier story.
That’s always possible.
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To the playerbase of Newbetal/Retromux
An Apology to the fullest.
It is true The player behind Kahula overstepped a non contact request.
A friendship with the player behind Niall was formed onanother platform and when they extended an invite to the game, it was taken. Ethically she should not had accepted this invite, knowing that this player requested distance. However, with second chances, she did. Feeling at the time that keeping herself under cover for her own sake was better then not. Lets not mistake that the community at large already knew of his personal attacks once someone gets on his bad side. Multiple games, Multiple people - not just Kahula.She admitted to her mistake. Some understood it due to the fact that in reality she was only trying to avoid conflict even if she did, overstep this non contact. She admitted, and apologized.
When Staff came to speak to her she did not hide, nor keep information from them. The thing I wonder is how can they ban someone for avoiding conflict from someone known to be a problem. Yes she did hide herself, but is that in itsself worth a full gameban?
To top it off there were, other outside influences that were leaking into her real life from another player all together.
Personally Identifying Information Removed by Mods
You were being harassed OUTSIDE the game.so… thats ok? lol this community you speak of was harassing her. She was trying her very best to circumvent it.
Did she try to involve staff when a player that was outside harassing her was trying to rejoin the game? yes she wanted to look out for others.
Personally Identifying Information Removed by Mods
What I saw what this: You came back onto the game. Immediately involved staff in matters that had nothing to do with the game.I am also aware that the player of Kahula was actually given props for playing out a rather hard scene, and she herself was actually active in a good way to the game as a whole…
We all deserve chances, if someone who worked to turn a new leaf like Niall claims to have done, certainly someone who hid their presence just to avoid conflict should be able to show the community as a whole that they can do better. Ethically yes, she should had gone right to staff to tell them that someone invited her back who once held a grude. I dont know…
All I can say is this. The community at a whole suffers from a verity of disability’s, its why we escape here. Is it more harm to a game that someone hid… without takeing in the reasons why she did so.
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Hi @thrax ,
This definitely looks like only one small part of the story, including messages taken out of context (I do have the full conversation, it’s in the file). But to address your concerns-
We did try to weigh if this was conflict avoidance in play when reviewing Kahula’s situation. The problem with that is, she had a no contact order elsewhere on her by the player, and she obfuscated who she was across two games and discord, and SOUGHT OUT rp with that player specifically.
I don’t know about you, but if I tell someone that we aren’t good company for each other, and then find out months later that they hid who they were, on multiple platforms, and intentionally befriended me across multiple games, I would consider that some major red flag behavior and not an attempt to avoid conflict. It flirts with stalking territory frankly.
I don’t really think harrassment in any form is okay. Including outside the game. But it would be unrealistic to expect staff to address harrassment outside of the scope of the game. We do however address it in the game and take all tickets regarding it very serious, and the player harrassing her, was also banned at the same time for their own hosts of reasons.
Even with what I’ve shared here , it was only a part of the picture on why we reached the decision we did. Bannings are a laborous process, we often spend days if not weeks discussing and reviewing the material we have, and weigh the decision against the good of the community as a whole.
I understand many people use this hobby as a way to escape or cope with their own mental health struggles, and/or the world at large. I have in fact built my sphere and how we approach things with mental health in mind, we often can accomadate for ADHD, Anxiety, Depression and other mental health issues by adjusting stories, engagement, and how information is shared. But it is important to remember that neither the staff nor the playerbase are trained therapists and should not be held to the expectation of fulfilling that function.
So in summary, we absolutely took into account the reasons she might have hid who she was, the idea it was conflict avoidance unfortunately didn’t hold up to scrutiny. Hope that clarity helps.
P.S. I don’t know the policy here, but many places it’s poor form to offer up someone’s discord without permission.
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@thrax said in Numetal/Retromux:
When Staff came to speak to her she did not hide, nor keep information from them. The thing I wonder is how can they ban someone for avoiding conflict from someone known to be a problem. Yes she did hide herself, but is that in itsself worth a full gameban?
Hiding yourself from players you have a no contact with in order to RP with them is something I think deserves a gameban, regardless of how open you are with staff.
Proud Member of the Pro-Mummy Alliance
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@Muse I can see where you are coming from.
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@MisterBoring said in Numetal/Retromux:
@thrax said in Numetal/Retromux:
When Staff came to speak to her she did not hide, nor keep information from them. The thing I wonder is how can they ban someone for avoiding conflict from someone known to be a problem. Yes she did hide herself, but is that in itsself worth a full gameban?
Hiding yourself from players you have a no contact with in order to RP with them is something I think deserves a gameban, regardless of how open you are with staff.
Baffling to me how many people do this. Some people don’t like you/will not inflict amnesia upon themselves about you! Best to move on.
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God I don’t miss this hobby.
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@thrax said in Numetal/Retromux:
To the playerbase of Newbetal/Retromux
An Apology to the fullest.
It is true The player behind Kahula overstepped a non contact request.This is really all you have to say. It doesn’t really matter what you do or say to someone, if you’re explicitly hiding your identity to trick someone into interacting with you, it is (imo) bannable. There are some people out there who have completely destroyed their reputation in the hobby and often that infamy is not the kind of thing that people would just straight up forgive. I’m sure anyone reading this can come up with a handful of names of people that would immediately ruin the experience of a game if they were found to be there.
I have no idea who Kahula is or was so I’m not going to speculate on whatever their reputation might be, but befriending someone on a separate platform without mentioning that you know each other – especially when they’ve invited you to a game which usually prompts a “oh, what MUSHes have you been on? Have we played together?” conversation – is such a red flag that it’s a specter haunting Europe.
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@thrax said in Numetal/Retromux:
We all deserve chances,
No. We can all hope for chances, but we have to earn them.
All I can say is this. The community at a whole suffers from a verity of disability’s, its why we escape here. Is it more harm to a game that someone hid… without takeing in the reasons why she did so.
Stuff this shit right back up your arse. Your disability is your problem, not mine nor anyone else’s. If it makes you violate rules, that’s on you.
ETA: For those who aren’t aware, I have a mental health-related disability (or five, depending on how you measure). If I treat someone poorly “because of” said disability, I’ve still treated someone poorly. The whys and wherefores are irrelevent, someone has been treated badly and it is my fault. That’s it.
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MOD VOICE: Hey, all. Do not put up people’s Discords, emails, real names, or any other non-game identifying information on the board.
