Don’t forget we moved!
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Bailey Fork
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This is all I’m saying to you and then I’m done because
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I don’t feel the need to prove the type of person you are when so many others have issue with you and
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I’m not letting you have any further presence in my life to attempt and manipulate me
Onto my ‘umbrage’ with you. Since you decided to respond.
On the game you speak of our chars were set up to be friends with a connecting hook and backstory. I was fine with this. Then, at some point, you inquired about setting up a romantic arc with your char having prior confessed feelings for mine. I said something along the lines of, “My char would appreciate your char’s honesty, but tell them they didn’t share the feelings while still wanting to remain friends.” This was communicated ooc and you seemed fine. Until a later scene you had your char attempt to flirt in a scene with both my char and another one to try and get all three chars into a threesome. You even joked about it ooc with me and the other char regarding your attempts at flirting and the intention there.
As far as the issue that led to me ultimately cutting contact with you. It was a story arc where for whatever reason your char was again obsessed with mine. Especially the sexual and romantic aspect of his social life/plot. Your char repeatedly and publicly made several comments about not only my char needing to ‘mate’ with another char, but commented on her and my char’s anatomy in crude and offensive ways. You played this off as a character ‘quirk’. Then, in another scene, when your char was confronted with said issue you had him escalate his behavior and (without prior conversation or warning to me) decided to make all of his behaviors be a result of a brain tumor plot.
When I saw not only was the sexually suggestive behavior not going to stop, but that you also had no regard for other player involvement or enjoyment in how you approach the scene experience, I messaged you privately. I explained I didn’t feel comfortable with the sexually explicit nature of your char’s comments and how it involved my char. I asked you to stop only in mentioning my char and said I’d be stopping my char’s involvement in scenes, but even indicated feel free to continue with other chars since they didn’t seem to have an issue with it.
You said you understood. You said you respected that. You never messaged me again. Then, you pull one of your classic ‘take time from a game’ dramatically because you were called out (not the first time at this game I must add). Then, I find out you’re badmouthing me and my credibility to anyone who will believe you. Luckily, nobody did. They know me better. I still have all the same friends I did before you attempted your smear campaign.
At first I felt confused. I will admit I even let myself wonder if I was the person you tried to make others and myself believe I was. Then I realized, if you did what your char did irl it would be sexual harassment. You constantly made advances towards my char. When that didn’t work you turned that focus to comments about his body in a shock value vulgar way. You were asked to stop in regards to it involving my char. I’m allowed to tell someone to stop behavior that makes me uncomfortable and disrespected. I at no point tried to control your actions aside from expecting respect and decency towards my char. At no point did you communicate to me any of these negative reactions you had, instead you decided to gaslight by going to every other person and this is the first time I’ve even heard from you since my “Please stop this is making me uncomfortable” conversation.
When it became clear you wouldn’t stop I placed a no contact order. I never set out to get you banned and I never set out to stop your rp with other people. I’m staff there, but I deserve a safe place to enjoy rp as well. You took that away from me. From what I’ve heard you’ve taken it from a lot of people. I’m not the only one here with an issue with you so I’m done letting you make me think at all that I’m at all to blame in this situation.
As for the rest of your accusations, I don’t know what ‘bragging’ or whatever you’re talking about given our chars had few interactions at that point. You weren’t told how to play your char. You were told how your behavior made someone uncomfortable and chose to continue. You were told to stop sexually focused behavior that was not wanted and not appreciated. Imagine real life. If someone kept commenting on my body and who I should or shouldn’t ‘do it’ (your phrases were far more extreme) with. If that person continued after told to stop. That isn’t me ‘controlling’ that person’s actions. That’s sexual harassment and a crime.
Stop using your warped justification to condone your sexual harassment of other players. It’s a trend you’ve had for awhile. Stop blaming everyone else for the consequences of your own actions. Stop acting like if you’ve been banned from multiple games and had issue with multiple people that the problem is anyone other than you. I can’t believe I didn’t see it then. I can’t believe I ever let you make me question myself. I am so glad I’m in a healthier place now where I can see I was entirely in the right.
If anyone else wants to reply to you they can and if you want to reply to this go ahead. I’m stepping back and officially removing myself from this conversation.
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@bailey the tl;dr that I got from your story is that you keep doing weird creeper stuff or hanging out with weird creepers and getting banned from games. You should really evaluate your own actions, 'cause getting banned from multiple games is a sure sign the problem is you.
@SockMonkey said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
If anyone else wants to reply to you they can and if you want to reply to this go ahead. I’m stepping back and officially removing myself from this conversation.
I hate when people do this. If you’re leaving a thread, do it without posting your goddamn manifesto first and then telling us all you’re never coming back to read again. It’s a step away from “and don’t DM me back!!”
(edit: which is not what sock meant but removing this part from the convo would be weird now so carry on)
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@KarmaBum I’ll reply to other people. It was me indicating I’m not taking role in the conversation with him further. I have a right to defend myself against his accusations, but I’m not going to further subject myself to his continued harassing behavior. I meant the direct conversation with him.
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That does make a lot more sense. I sincerely apologize if you thought there was any element to what I was doing that was intended towards a sexual angle with you or any of your characters. Really, my only intent around that character (who was asexual and didn’t understand human behavior) was calling out your character’s behavior towards his daughter, and I sincerely, truly apologize if you felt there was any part of that which was pressure towards him on my part. If you got that from what my character was doing, then that’s a failure on my part as an RPer. I was trying to play a comedic character, and clearly missed the mark on that.
None of that was at all ever conveyed to me, it was always couched in terms of “I didn’t like how much you were talking about my character having sex with Character Y”. Given what you’ve said here, 100% I would have course corrected, especially since it was inadvertent on my part. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize that from our communications.
You are generally a good person and I did value the RP we’d had prior to that point, and am sorry that anything I said made you uncomfortable in that regard. I’ll go back and review the logs to try to identify some of the specifics that did that, because I certainly wouldn’t want to repeat that.
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@SockMonkey Oh my bad. I’ll edit my post then. I was reading it as I’M NEVER REPLYING AGAIN!!!
Which is seriously like way up there on my peeve list.
(bonus points if it turns out to be bs)
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@KarmaBum LOL no problem I see why it read that way. No my approach was a Fez “I said good day!” moment. Yeah the whole dramatic storm out or leave a conversation/game with some grand announcement tactic is a peeve of mine too.
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Yeah. I spent a lot of time after what happened with The Pack evaluating what had happened, what I could have done differently, etc. Because yes, I did come to the conclusion that the problem was me.
Part of what I learned was that pre-planning any aspects of a character arc can be problematic. That’s what had really been the crux of the issue in The Pack, whether players later changed their minds about what those decisions were or not. If I do end up diving back into the RP world, I think it’s safer to just let IC be IC, and not OOC plan things. It leads to hurt feelings, and other complications.
I don’t seek out drama. I know that there are some folks in the MU* community who thrive on that; RPing a character isn’t quite enough for them, they kind of RP themselves as players, and they like to wreak havoc. I don’t, I really just try to tell interesting stories. And I think that, with anything else, one just has to be careful who one is telling stories with, and make sure that all want to be telling the same story. (Case in point, as SM indicated above.)
But like I said, the IA situation had nothing to do with any player conduct on the game at all. It literally was because a staffer there asked me to weigh in on Macha’s feud with another player, and said staffer didn’t seem to like/appreciate my belief that both players were at fault. The headwiz there had, previously, come onto Elseverse and engaged in disparaging remarks (including a pretty volatile conversation with, ironically, the other player in that aforementioned Macha conflict on IA), and I think it’s just a case of he and I having different viewpoints on various things. It was incredibly disappointing to me as a player, because you’re right - seeing that I was banned there, held up with the Pack, certainly presents as a pattern.
All that being said, I’m taking SM’s words earnestly to review the RP that is being identified as suggestive (because it was certainly not my intent) so I can be more careful going forward. It’s not my goal to cause anyone discomfort, so more self-evaluation may be wise.
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ok but like ??? @bailey still didn’t post the log that would exonerate them with OldFlame?
Show me the logs of the bad stuff you’re accused on that exonerate you, not just your recap that could be or couldn’t be lies/massaged ‘truth’ based on what staff decided.
ETA: And I think it is TELLING by the way, bailey. TELLING. That you posted the staff log but not the logs asked for. The staff log says nothing except your side, where you refused to give a log, as accused, and then got banned.
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My brain is goop:
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SM had nothing to do with Bailey being banned.
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Should I have asked multiple times for logs, when you already told me you weren’t comfortable sending them?
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I probably shouldn’t have started with “You’re not in trouble” but at the start of the convo you weren’t. I was honestly looking for your side to see if it was all a misunderstanding.
Cobalt@Under the Stars
cob.alt@Discord
Cobalt#3811@mas.to -
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@Cobalt start every conversation with: You’re not in trouble yet.
It has my seal of approval.
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@Meg said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
ok but like ??? @bailey still didn’t post the log that would exonerate them with OldFlame?
Show me the logs of the bad stuff you’re accused on that exonerate you, not just your recap that could be or couldn’t be lies/massaged ‘truth’ based on what staff decided.
ETA: And I think it is TELLING by the way, bailey. TELLING. That you posted the staff log but not the logs asked for. The staff log says nothing except your side, where you refused to give a log, as accused, and then got banned.
I mean, I could, but I’ve already pretty much admitted here that it’s likely that there I was not communicating as well as I thought I had, so I’m not sure there is a ton of value to that (particularly since it discusses other players who were not involved in this and things that happened on another game) since I am not trying to establish or defend any actions at this point on The Pack.
This happened a few months ago, I made my peace with it, and had moved on. I only climbed back in now because if it this is the sort of thing that is going to keep coming up whenever someone feels like punching at me, I’d rather set the record straight.
I don’t think it’s appropriate to air someone else’s dirty laundry in public if they aren’t involved in the situation, but I would have shared it with Feli if she wanted it to make a decision about her game and what was happening on her game. There’s no reason to now, because she made her decision, I accepted it, and that was that. I truly meant it when I said I didn’t want to cause drama on her game, and was content to leave at that point that I offered it.
And maybe it’s semantics, but what I said was that I felt funny providing alt-revealing things, and then asked if it was being suggested that I did something I shouldn’t have. If I had realized that was the accusation, I might have been quicker to suggest sharing the log with Feli as a wiz, but the impression I got from the conversation was that it wasn’t necessary and wasn’t being further asked for. So I don’t take any of that as being that I “refused”. You could say my reluctance to do so now on here is a “refusal”, and probably more fair, but honestly I don’t think that defending my reputation, such as it is, to people who weren’t involved in the situation outweighs digging up dirt on ANOTHER drama on ANOTHER game that I wasn’t involved with, when none of those players involved are part of this conversation.
If you want to take that as some kind of admission of my guilt, I mean, I can’t really stop you or argue you from that.
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@Cobalt said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
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Should I have asked multiple times for logs, when you already told me you weren’t comfortable sending them?
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I probably shouldn’t have started with “You’re not in trouble” but at the start of the convo you weren’t. I was honestly looking for your side to see if it was all a misunderstanding.
I think you handled it the best way you could, for the sake of your game. As I said when we were chatting, I was already ready to head out just to avoid OOC drama.
I only wish that you hadn’t indicated that I “refused” anything, when I had just stated a preference not to and at the time didn’t think it was anything more than you just trying to establish a timeline. I’d have provided it to you if you had asked after I expressed that, but it’s neither here nor there.
I thought you were running a good game, and I’m sorry that you had repeated drama which led to you closing it. And I apologize that I contributed to that in any way.
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@bailey said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
I mean, I could, but I’ve already pretty much admitted here that it’s likely that there I was not communicating as well as I thought I had, so I’m not sure there is a ton of value to that (particularly since it discusses other players who were not involved in this and things that happened on another game) since I am not trying to establish or defend any actions at this point on The Pack.
Oh ok. So you real guilty then.
Also didn’t you kool-aid man in here trying to defend yourself??? In your first post??? Now you’re gaslighting us like ‘I’m not trying to defend myself’.
Tf??? Go in the bin with macha.
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@Meg said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
@bailey said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
I mean, I could, but I’ve already pretty much admitted here that it’s likely that there I was not communicating as well as I thought I had, so I’m not sure there is a ton of value to that (particularly since it discusses other players who were not involved in this and things that happened on another game) since I am not trying to establish or defend any actions at this point on The Pack.
Oh ok. So you real guilty then.
Also didn’t you kool-aid man in here trying to defend yourself??? In your first post??? Now you’re gaslighting us like ‘I’m not trying to defend myself’.
Tf??? Go in the bin with macha.
You can decide from that what you wish. I came here in to correct two assertions:
- That I steadfastly refused to provide a Headwiz material logs to resolve an OOC issue with players in her game because I “made it up”.
- That I was banned from Infinite Adventures for player misconduct.
I have explained both of those to my satisfaction. I understand your zeal to know what happened, but I owe you less than I owe the other people involved whose private stories and dramas at another game are included in the discussions with the other player on The Pack, and I’m sure that if I redacted the portions of those conversations from the log I would be accused of hiding something else.
I have 100% confessed that I could have communicated more effectively and decisively with Player A that there was nothing going on with her character, and that my character had moved on fully to Player B. I thought I’d done so, but apparently not. It led to hurt feelings, and that’s not debatable.
If you want to try to suggest that I am as bad as the things that Macha has been accused of in this thread, well, that’s your choice.
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I’m so confused as to who Bailey is
she/her | playlist
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@Roz I think Character X? I’m not really sure.
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Could we get this split to a diff thread, tbh? The Bailey situation has nothing to do with Macha.
And I never said you steadfastedly refused to give logs. I just said you refused to give them. Nor did I say you made up any log?? I’m confused now.
Like, if I ask someone “can you send me logs” and they say “no”, I’m not going to be like “send me logs or you’re banned” – that’s coercion.
Cobalt@Under the Stars
cob.alt@Discord
Cobalt#3811@mas.to -
I thought for a minute things were going to get really interesting but if that person is not Macha what is even happening.
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@bailey Just a note, I’ve placed your log under a spoiler tag because it was rather long.
Everyone else, please be nice to our eyeballs, and put long logs under a spoiler tag.
Thanks everyone!
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@icanbeyourmuse said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
@Roz I think Character X? I’m not really sure.
No, I’m not Player X. I have not been a player on The Pack since 1/3. I’m not in any way involved with any of the above regarding Macha (other than being banned from Infinite Adventures at the same time as Macha’s and another player because a staffer at IA asked my opinion on those interactions before they were banned).
