Is friendship bad?
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I admit I was trolling just a little bit with the title and then I got distracted by dinner. But I do have some thoughts about it.
I get this feeling that there’s the part of the MU world that looks down on friendship - like if you’re RPing with people you’re not allowed to also like them because… reasons?
And of course, one of the things about friends is they tend to have similar-ish opinions, and so if you don’t agree with someone on a subject you may well not agree with their friends. And suddenly, cliques are born, where clique == group of people that you aren’t in.
Staff, of course, are not allowed friends because they staff out of the goodness of their hearts, but they must not enjoy it because if you enjoy something then you might be tempted to do more things for the people that you enjoy doing things for and then that’s favouritism.
I dunno, I thought I had a point, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen an online community be so split about the idea of being friends with people you spend time with.
I’m on the side of friendship good, in case that wasn’t clear. A friend is someone I want to spend time with and share experiences with. Sometimes I feel we’ve got so lost in the weeds of “everyone must be equal in their fun having” that we forget that we’re adults with lives and jobs and we do this in our spare time. I want to spend my spare time with my friends, not with people I keep at arm’s length.
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Friendship is magic, and it’s the real treasure we found.
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The real treasure was the coin I wasn’t auto-splitting with the group and no one noticed.
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There is also something I learned some years ago. And that was to stop trying to be everyone’s friend because you don’t like where you’re at in life.
And I liken it slightly to the idea of getting into a relationship with someone. Are you doing it because you actually like/care about them or are you doing it for yourself because you don’t want to be by yourself.
It’ll sound stupid and cliche, but you gotta like yourself before you can try to expand that outwardly. So while I say I wouldn’t mind having more friends in my life, because, well, I don’t think that’s a terrible thing to want, I’m also perfectly content if that doesn’t happen.
I may be depressed, but at least these days I don’t completely hate myself. I was surprised by how many more people I found in my life once I got past that hurdle.
We all deserve to love ourselves, even if I know it can be the hardest ever to do.
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@Solstice said in Is friendship bad?:
The real treasure was the coin I wasn’t auto-splitting with the group and no one noticed.
This hits home so hard for me as someone who spent 20 years on MUDs.
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I’ve developed a very sensitive NOPE reflex over the years, which might be why I’ve grown with like two close friends from back when we all sucked at boundaries (both incoming and outgoing), but neither of them really MU anymore.
It does make joining games a little less fun, honestly.
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Clique is a word that has lost all meaning, to the point where trying to use it when it’s actually applicable means it just gets lost in the noise of everyone and their dog referring to any friend group (or in a lot of cases, perceived friend group that may or may not exist) of which they’re not a part as a clique.
To some degree I can understand why it happens, but it’s a big personal peeve, and it does indeed compound the idea that being friends with people in this hobby is in some way a bad thing that must be justified, but which will always be seen as slightly shady, particularly if any of those friends is in some sort of authoritative position (or, heaven forbid, most/all of them).
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Friendship is not bad.
Friendship is amazing.
Being an exclusionary twit, that is bad.
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I’ve got friends. Even one or two from MUing. As a matter of course I never deal with them ‘professionally’ in any capacity, MU or RL.
That’s how I keep friends.
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it’s still bad
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@Rathenhope believe it or not I somehow did this after trying to ‘x’ out of BMD in the middle of a work meeting. I am become boomer.
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Friendship bad. Only enemies and lone wolves sitting in their dark corners of the tavern.
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@Testament This picture is almost a verbatim quote from NieR: Automata. In a pretty heavy plot point.
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@dvoraen said in Is friendship bad?:
@Testament This picture is almost a verbatim quote from NieR: Automata. In a pretty heavy plot point.
I thought the heavy plot point was the robot chick’s ass.
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@STD said in Is friendship bad?:
@dvoraen said in Is friendship bad?:
@Testament This picture is almost a verbatim quote from NieR: Automata. In a pretty heavy plot point.
I thought the heavy plot point was the robot chick’s ass.
The correct terminology is “thicc” I think.
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Friendship is good.
I have made some amazing friendships.
Everyone else is like someone you see in a grocery store.
