Asking for RP

IoleRae

I’ve always felt like the common etiquette is that whoever asks for RP sets. Maybe this is wrong!

No, it’s absolutely common etiquette*. I wish it would die in a fire though; this is part of what I was referencing. I wish we could decouple it, because now if somebody doesn’t feel up to setting, they don’t ask for RP. There are plenty of people (me included!) who don’t mind setting, so this is just…money left on the table, basically. It is RP that could have been had! But it didn’t, because they thought I would want them to set!

in some circles

Faraday

@IoleRae said in Asking for RP:

No, it’s absolutely the common etiquette.

Really? In most of my scenes it’s always been: “Do you want to set or shall I?” I’ve never encountered (or had) a tacit expectation that one or the other person would set.

farfalla

@Sammich said in Asking for RP:

@DrQuinn It’s even ‘better’ when you do try figuring out a reason only to have every single one of your suggestions shot down because it wouldn’t be ‘in character’ for them, while they continue to refuse to offer any of their own ideas.

Etiquette might say that the asker sets, but if the other person shoots down the first suggestion they are required to offer a different one. You can’t just keep "no not that"ing! It’s gotta be “no, but…” on the first rejection.

Pax

@Sammich said in Asking for RP:

It’s even ‘better’ when you do try figuring out a reason only to have every single one of your suggestions shot down because it wouldn’t be ‘in character’ for them.

A lot of RP has died before it could live because it was sacrificed on the pyre of “bUt ThEy wOuLd NeVeR dO tHaT”. Cool, then I guess the rest of us are RPing and you’re scratching your ass, cheers chief.

farfalla

@Faraday If I ask, I usually say some version of “I can set, unless you have a great idea in mind.” Either party can set, but the burden falls on the asker if no one else wants to.

ETA: I’m not saying this is the ideal, this is just how I’ve always played and understood things.

mietze

I’m another person who absolutely doesn’t mind setting most of the time regardless of who asks. sometimes I have to kind of remind myself to shut up to give other people room to pitch their ideas too. When for whatever reason i’m stymied (it doesn’t happen often but it does–more often when i’m just getting my legs under a pc or if i’m just feeling kind of shy or rusty) it’s always lovely when the other person is willing to at least get us started off though.

But I too really wish that it could be separated out a bit. Or if it was okay to just say “hey I really want to jump into some RP, but need a boost in someone coming up with the set” That way the person who accepts isn’t annoyed, and the person who might be brimming with ideas doesn’t feel like they’re saying hey I mean you were the one trawling for RP but here, let me boss you around and stuff some scenarios down your throat.

Pavel

@IoleRae said in Asking for RP:

No, it’s absolutely the common etiquette.

Sampling bias. It’s common for people who post here to express that they prefer this. Doesn’t mean everyone else in the big wide (small, icky) MU world cares.

Solstice

I’ll preface this with stating that due to IRL circumstances, I haven’t been playing as much. (Something I hope to eventually change, but life will be life.)

But I absolutely fall into the trap of thinking that if I ask people for RP, I’m pestering them, and they’ll get sick of me. Rooted in reality? No. I don’t think I’ve ever in life come on so strong that people just ghosted me. But damned if my anxiety doesn’t go there by default. I have to power through it each and every time just to ask, even if it’s been months between asks.

aaaaaaa

i'm the problem

Faraday

@farfalla said in Asking for RP:

Either party can set, but the burden falls on the asker if no one else wants to.

But what I’m saying is that I’m just as likely as the invitee to ask that as the inviter.

So basically the onus falls on whoever asks first “Do you want to set or shall I” because they’re implicitly offering to set if the other person doesn’t want to. Of course they could just as easily ask: “Do you mind setting?”

Though since a set could just be: “Faraday sits at the table, sipping her drink.” I don’t really see setting as a huge burden either way.

IoleRae

Mea culpa, I did not qualify.

helvetica

ngl with the exception of a scene I was in over the weekend, in which someone asked me to set and I didn’t have the spoons, I feel like I set a lot even though I rarely ask for the scene… and that’s just because… usually the other person asked and in my head, that was work and now it’s my turn to do work

farfalla

@helvetica This does make sense to me.

Somehow for me, it feels like when I ask for RP you’re doing me a favor by agreeing, so why am I now asking you to do the work. This makes no sense. If someone paged “hey you want to rp? you set” I’d be annoyed, being asked to do work for them. This also makes no real sense.