Asking for RP
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@Artemis said in Asking for RP:
I am shy about asking for rp unless I have a concrete reason to do so, in which case i have zero shame.
For sure this, I struggle as is with RP without like an end point or general focus around it. Probably from RPing before and the main topics were like, the weather. Flavour of tea and the weather again. Plus there’s that feeling of “omg what if they are bored and watching Netflix on the main.”
Or I end up paging, asking how someone is doing. End up talking about the dog, the cat and what is for dinner. It’s been like an hour and I forgot to ask about RPing.
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@Whisky said in Asking for RP:
Flavour of tea
Bergamot is the superior flavour extract in tea. I will fight anyone who disagrees.
ETA:
To the topic at hand, though, I find asking for RP easy. When I’m in a certain mood, when the planets are aligned correctly, and assuming I’m fully medicated.
Like a few of the above folks, I believe that if you’re the one asking, you should also be the one with at least a suggestion of what to do. It’s like asking me around to your house but having no idea what you want to do when I get there. It’s frustrating.
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I don’t often suggest what to do when I ask for RP. On Atharia I do something like ‘If there is an NPC you want to interact with, let me know.’ or I say we can do something related to X plot or exploration. I’m also a wing it kind of girl. Like plots I run the only things I plan are what my end goal is and to make sure everyone in the scene gets a moment to shine. So, I’m an example of what drives most of you nuts.
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I spent way too long writing a couple paragraphs reflecting on my struggles with asking for RP, and RP in general. And then I was like ‘fuck it, no one wants to read this shit’ and deleted them.
Which is an accurate representation of my struggles with asking for RP, and RPing in general.
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@Floof said in Asking for RP:
Which is an accurate representation of my struggles with asking for RP, and RPing in general.
I feel this.
I do think it’s ironic though. Most of us lament not finding enough RP, and yet so many of us (myself included) feel bad about asking for it, like it’s not the main reason people are there. Kinda counterproductive when you think about it.
There have been so many tools available for folks through the years - RP request channels, Looking for RP flags, idling on grid, open public scenes in Ares… I wish there were some kind of magic system that would make things easier, but I think it’s a human thing more than a code thing.
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@Faraday said in Asking for RP:
but I think it’s a human thing more than a code thing
But code is there to make up for humans! Code us a way to have fun without relying on other huma… oh that’s just video games.
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I went into my current rp group knowing no one and by telling myself that it was going to be what I made of it and nothing more. It’s mostly turned out rewarding, but I still get the feeling of being tired of asking, sometimes, even having set my own expectations from the start.
Part of that is because some people got into the habit of asking me back, and others just… didn’t. It’s easier to ask for a first scene out of the blue than it is to ask for a fifth scene, a month after the last time, with little contact in between. For me, anyway. It’s those ones that stick when I start feeling burnt out on initiating.
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To be honest, one of the reasons I ask more than I answer is that often the person asking for RP on a RP Requests channel is someone I don’t want to RP with. If I ask, I can be pickier.
Additionally, I’ve always felt like the common etiquette is that whoever asks for RP sets. Maybe this is wrong!
as previously stated, good day.
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@farfalla It drives me crazy when someone pages me “Hey I have something I need to scene with you about, are you around right now?” And I say yes and go IC and then first thing OOC is something like “Okay, figure out a reason for us to be meeting.”
What!? You asked me! You said you had something! Why am I now on the hook!?
That said I rarely ask people for RP. I tend to just sit out on grid hopeful that someone will come along. That’s why I like running events, you just throw it out there that people can show up at a certain time and then then do!
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@DrQuinn It’s even ‘better’ when you do try figuring out a reason only to have every single one of your suggestions shot down because it wouldn’t be ‘in character’ for them, while they continue to refuse to offer any of their own ideas.
Bonus points if when you give up trying they get upset at you for not being willing to be flexible for the sake of RP.
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@DrQuinn said in Asking for RP:
I tend to just sit out on grid hopeful that someone will come along.
I tend to do this, too. Though I broadcast on channels “There’s RP happening at X.” With the assumption that people will find their own reasons for coming to X.
It seems relatively effective. Honestly, if you can’t come up with a reason why your character wouldn’t be at X, Y, Z, or Q regular haunts that my character goes to… then you probably aren’t the kind of person I want to RP with anyway.
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@farfalla said in Asking for RP:
I’ve always felt like the common etiquette is that whoever asks for RP sets. Maybe this is wrong!
No, it’s absolutely common etiquette*. I wish it would die in a fire though; this is part of what I was referencing. I wish we could decouple it, because now if somebody doesn’t feel up to setting, they don’t ask for RP. There are plenty of people (me included!) who don’t mind setting, so this is just…money left on the table, basically. It is RP that could have been had! But it didn’t, because they thought I would want them to set!
- in some circles
the entity previously known as Sunny
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@IoleRae said in Asking for RP:
No, it’s absolutely the common etiquette.
Really? In most of my scenes it’s always been: “Do you want to set or shall I?” I’ve never encountered (or had) a tacit expectation that one or the other person would set.
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@Sammich said in Asking for RP:
@DrQuinn It’s even ‘better’ when you do try figuring out a reason only to have every single one of your suggestions shot down because it wouldn’t be ‘in character’ for them, while they continue to refuse to offer any of their own ideas.
Etiquette might say that the asker sets, but if the other person shoots down the first suggestion they are required to offer a different one. You can’t just keep "no not that"ing! It’s gotta be “no, but…” on the first rejection.
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@Sammich said in Asking for RP:
It’s even ‘better’ when you do try figuring out a reason only to have every single one of your suggestions shot down because it wouldn’t be ‘in character’ for them.
A lot of RP has died before it could live because it was sacrificed on the pyre of “bUt ThEy wOuLd NeVeR dO tHaT”. Cool, then I guess the rest of us are RPing and you’re scratching your ass, cheers chief.
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@Faraday If I ask, I usually say some version of “I can set, unless you have a great idea in mind.” Either party can set, but the burden falls on the asker if no one else wants to.
ETA: I’m not saying this is the ideal, this is just how I’ve always played and understood things.
as previously stated, good day.
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I’m another person who absolutely doesn’t mind setting most of the time regardless of who asks. sometimes I have to kind of remind myself to shut up to give other people room to pitch their ideas too. When for whatever reason i’m stymied (it doesn’t happen often but it does–more often when i’m just getting my legs under a pc or if i’m just feeling kind of shy or rusty) it’s always lovely when the other person is willing to at least get us started off though.
But I too really wish that it could be separated out a bit. Or if it was okay to just say “hey I really want to jump into some RP, but need a boost in someone coming up with the set” That way the person who accepts isn’t annoyed, and the person who might be brimming with ideas doesn’t feel like they’re saying hey I mean you were the one trawling for RP but here, let me boss you around and stuff some scenarios down your throat.
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@IoleRae said in Asking for RP:
No, it’s absolutely the common etiquette.
Sampling bias. It’s common for people who post here to express that they prefer this. Doesn’t mean everyone else in the big wide (small, icky) MU world cares.
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I’ll preface this with stating that due to IRL circumstances, I haven’t been playing as much. (Something I hope to eventually change, but life will be life.)
But I absolutely fall into the trap of thinking that if I ask people for RP, I’m pestering them, and they’ll get sick of me. Rooted in reality? No. I don’t think I’ve ever in life come on so strong that people just ghosted me. But damned if my anxiety doesn’t go there by default. I have to power through it each and every time just to ask, even if it’s been months between asks.
aaaaaaa
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@farfalla said in Asking for RP:
Either party can set, but the burden falls on the asker if no one else wants to.
But what I’m saying is that I’m just as likely as the invitee to ask that as the inviter.
So basically the onus falls on whoever asks first “Do you want to set or shall I” because they’re implicitly offering to set if the other person doesn’t want to. Of course they could just as easily ask: “Do you mind setting?”
Though since a set could just be: “Faraday sits at the table, sipping her drink.” I don’t really see setting as a huge burden either way.
