Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Real life happy
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executive function is a fucking miracle and superpower
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So today is my first day back in the office after PTO. When I was checking my calendar last night, I saw that my boss put a meeting on the books for first thing this morning with her and with her boss. I figured something went wrong with one of the projects I was working on with the boss’s boss while I was out and they needed to get me up to speed.
Uhh, no.
Turns out that when I found out how underpaid I am compared to my teammates last summer and lodged a complaint about that, initially got an ugly response, then they backpedaled hard and asked how much I wanted, only to get turned down? That request stuck around. My boss’s boss’s boss noted the complaint and when they did mid-year adjustments this year for people on the bottom end of salary bands, he personally lumped my name in with the ones that got sent to HR. Even though I was above the cut-off percentage for consideration.
My boss called a meeting to give me a 5% raise, on top of my end of year adjustment from 2023, because of something I bitched about a year ago.
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I whinged and complained about it in the complainy threads so much that it felt like cheating not to post the resolution:
After a year and a half, I got top bid on a house. And I’m so excited and terrified for the parts that come next, but the hunt is finally over!
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The past few months of my life have felt like years in both the most stressful and wonderful ways possible. I’ve taken on challenges and responsibilities that, even as they were happening, I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to face. All I knew is that quitting wasn’t an option.
During these months I’ve had to sacrifice significant time from MUSH and other online and RL interactions and, while it was difficult to start with, my journey helped me find a healthier balance and outlook towards life in general. It’s amazing how the toughest times in our life can also be the best. How what breaks us down also leaves us stronger than we ever thought we could be.
I’m happier now. I realize that self care isn’t selfish. Kindness doesn’t require tolerating mistreatment. Simply put…life is too damn short to spend it making yourself miserable.
I know realistically I will always struggle with my confidence and worry about letting others down. It’s just part of being a recovering people pleaser. It sure does feel nice to finally be in a place where I can look in the mirror and genuinely love the person I’m looking at though.
TL;DR: Life is short. Love yourself. You’re worth it.
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Foster girl and I had a screaming, yelling, name calling fight.
And she didn’t hit me or break anything.
I’m so freaking proud of her.
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@junipersky I’m proud of her too! I’m also proud of you. It means she’s learning to recognize and communicate her big feelings and you have given her a safe place to figure out the process. It’s hard to feel like you’re making a difference some days, but when you look back and see the difference between day 1 and present behavior it really is an encouraging thing.
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I suspect my boss has been taking on some of my workload, either because he knows I’m stressed out or he doesn’t want to wait for me to get to it. Either way I’m grateful.
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I was put on Ajovy for migraines. I haven’t had one since I took the first dose 9 days ago. I’ve had meds fail me many times before, but even 9 days in a row mostly pain-free will have been more than worth it.
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@Snackness Hey! Migraine-free is awesome.
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@Snackness Yay! Glad you can remember what it’s like to be pain free. That’s super exciting!
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I survived an appendectomy, and Cyrto Reduction Surgery with the HIPEC maneuver to help get rid of stage 1A ovarian cancer. Still sore, but home and surrounded by many purring felines. There’s not a lot a person can ask for in recovery but the purring faces of 5 cats.
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More real life funny than real life happy, but…
Today, one of my coworkers accidentally made the most wildly inappropriate comment at me and I cannot stop laughing.
I went to see Bush over the weekend. Today, I wore the shirt I bought at the concert to work. She was trying to tell me that she really liked the shirt and the outfit that I put together, but instead she said:
“I keep looking at your Bush, Aria. I really like it!”
It is only by the grace of God that I managed not to blurt out “Thanks! I grew it myself.”
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@Aria That is definitely one of those embarrassing moments your brain holds onto until 10 years later when you’re almost asleep so it can say “Hey remember that time you…”
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Celebrated the girl’s 8th birthday.
Also celebrated that we are officially her longest foster family.
She said recently that if she can’t go home to her mommy and daddy that she wouldn’t mind us adopting her.
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@junipersky Oh how fantastic! The birthday. The stability. The safety she obviously feels with you. You’re just marvelous!
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I just got promoted for the third time in less than four years.
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@Aria Look at you go!
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@SockMonkey said in Real life happy:
@Aria Look at you go!
Honestly, it’s really exciting but it’s also really, really annoying for one specific reason:
I spent more than a decade floundering as an administrative/executive assistant, where I had almost all of the same skills that I have now, but was frequently dismissed and overlooked as “just” an admin. To the point that I literally had an executive in a room full of thirty people berate a high level sales rep for not understanding the rules engine dictating our substitution guidelines by her saying “It’s not that hard. Even Aria can explain this and she’s just an assistant.” (Note: It actually was hard, it was really fucking hard, which was why most of our reps went through a day and a half of training about it. The fact that I was explaining it to the head of sales for the entire West Coast should’ve been a mark in my favor, not against him.)
It took one person taking what was perceived as a “chance” on me in 2019, by giving me a lateral move, when I’d spent years managing budgets and projects and writing executive comms and and and and for this to happen. And then I got promoted in 2021. And 2022. And this month.
There are probably ridiculously talented people in your (and I mean general your, not you SockMonkey!) organization that are being overlooked because they don’t fit the mold–they made some mistakes when they were young, or had life commitments pulling them in other directions, or don’t play office politics well, or changed careers…
Take another look. Give them a chance. They have more to prove than the hot shit upper middle class kid with the MBA whose goal in life is to be and “industry disruptor” and who thinks driving a Tesla qualifies as a personality.
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@Aria As someone with a long history of admin/executive assistant roles, I share your rage. People hear admin or executive assistant and look down on the person when in reality there are so many hats you wear to successfully achieve such a role. It requires such a vast skill set and involves adapting to so many different approaches.
In order to assist all these different people you have to understand the jobs you’re assisting them with. Which is something people don’t understand themselves. Also “taking a chance” must have been such a discouraging way to be viewed when you were earned that opportunity ten times over so I’m sorry for that.
All that to say -I- think you’re brilliant and am proud of you! Treat yourself!
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@Aria Are you me???
she/they
