Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Bannings
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Honestly, and this isn’t official mod talk or anything, I don’t think it’s healthy to go over there (or bring their stuff here) to rehash and go over things. It’s picking at a scab at best and twisting a knife at worst.
Obviously I ain’t gonna stop you, but to put on my teacher voice for a moment: It’s your own time you’re wasting. They aren’t going to back down from their position any more than you’re gonna back down from yours. A clean break is better.
I do get this, and this sentiment.
All I can say is I’m a dumbass.
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Honestly, and this isn’t official mod talk or anything, I don’t think it’s healthy to go over there (or bring their stuff here) to rehash and go over things. It’s picking at a scab at best and twisting a knife at worst.
Obviously I ain’t gonna stop you, but to put on my teacher voice for a moment: It’s your own time you’re wasting. They aren’t going to back down from their position any more than you’re gonna back down from yours. A clean break is better.
I do get this, and this sentiment.
All I can say is I’m a dumbass.
We pretend to be vampires and nobles and semi-decent people with mysterious backstories on crappy internet text games. We’re all dumbasses.
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@Jennkryst said in Bannings:
Getting everyone banned was actually about hurting others, whether by expulsion from the community, or having no push back when it comes to hurting new people after making a clever name change disguise.
While I don’t think this is correct, I can certainly see why you feel that way. I’m more inclined to blame incompetence than malice. They mistook their role as community enforcers rather than community stewards, and rather than acknowledge their mistake they doubled down on it. In response to a stressful situation they escalated in panic when they should’ve taken a moment to reflect. That’s when the community contract was broken.
It’s an easy pitfall. You see it all over society, to sometimes (often?) tragic results. People have authority, and start believing their job is to enforce that authority, rather than act in accorance to the underlying purpose for which they were given authority to start with. Sometimes it’s malicious, but often its just a mindset people fall into after a while. That doesn’t lessen the damage it can do to their community, and it doesn’t absolve them either, mind.
But I don’t think they were out to hurt people.
At this point there’s not much to do but accept the split and move on. Was it unnecessary? Yes. Badly handled by MSB mod team? I think so. But ultimately they don’t, and have made that clear. All the arguments have already been made, and rebuffed. When you get to that stage, there’s nothing left to do but move on. Rehashing it there, or even here, will only bring you (generic you, and even me) frustration and disappointment.
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Honestly, and this isn’t official mod talk or anything, I don’t think it’s healthy to go over there (or bring their stuff here) to rehash and go over things. It’s picking at a scab at best and twisting a knife at worst.
Obviously I ain’t gonna stop you, but to put on my teacher voice for a moment: It’s your own time you’re wasting. They aren’t going to back down from their position any more than you’re gonna back down from yours. A clean break is better.
I do get this, and this sentiment.
All I can say is I’m a dumbass.
We pretend to be vampires and nobles and semi-decent people with mysterious backstories on crappy internet text games. We’re all dumbasses.
Hey, stop looking at my metaplot notes.
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@lordbelh This was actually two ideas that got pushed together. I did not mean that it was exclusively meant to hurt by this one person - it was meant to hurt by many people, the name-changer just happens to be one of them. I should edit for clarification when work slows down later.
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They mistook their role as community enforcers rather than community stewards, and rather than acknowledge their mistake they doubled down on it.
I would argue against this point specifically because I was told, directly (and someone can find those DMs somewhere around here to confirm) that Gany didn’t view her job as a steward. She was the authority and did not like her authority being impugned.
To that end, I think that, sure, the initial overreaction could be described as a kneejerk display of incompetence. But the doubling-down and continued assertions of superiority? That’s malicious.
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It might not be healthy, but let’s not pretend as a hobby we have ever been about making the healthiest choices.
As some have said elsewhere (just saying I don’t take credit for this), a lot of times when you are done wrong it is helpful and important to feel heard. MSB admin, Gany and all, not only didn’t listen but made it clear they didn’t want to or feel it necessary.
This isn’t a ‘protest’ board, and anyone who buys into that stigma is being dumb. A large chunk of people were shut out of a forum. It makes all the sense in the world they would just then find another place to do the thing they were doing all along.
If people have feelings they need to air about what happened, I say that’s valid. I’d be disappointed if it were ever the main focus of all discussion here, but it ain’t.
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But I don’t think they were out to hurt people.
Whether this was true is debatable, but that they are out to hurt people now isn’t. Because there isn’t a way in which the lies they now give can be justified as necessary. They are risible lies, designed only to impugn and libel in service of self-justification.
Honestly, of some I expected it - but there are one or two who were there, who post in support of this, who were among those I counted as friends. Who I spoke up for, and tried to find space for, who I offered time and effort in building story with. And more fool me. That people I don’t really regard as worth much consideration are lying about me is annoying, but I’ve had worse from worse people. That people whom you did have a connection with endorse it? That is truly hurtful.
When someone shows you who they are, over and over again? Believe them.
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@hellfrog For me, it was very very simple: I had decided I wasn’t gonna participate in MSB anymore, but I still wanted to talk about games. So, I’d have happily hopped onto whatever else gave me the option to do that.
It wasn’t about MSB, per se; it was about having a need that MSB no longer could fill.
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@Pyrephox MSB dumped their girlfriend, and it turns out we were better friends with the girlfriend than MSB, so we went with her.
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I lost a twenty year friendship over this bullshit, and I’m probably never going to get over it.
the entity previously known as Sunny
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BUT ALSO, does anything know what The Forge is?! Someone mentioned it in a list with MSB and BMD and I’m like, is there some totally different forum!! Inquiring minds, etc.
she/her | playlist
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@Roz Typo. It is The Froge. It’s the new cool @hellfrog nightclub where everyone wears a frog mask and commits insane acts of bullying terrorism in DMs. The downstairs moshpit.
@IoleRae I honestly am really sorry about that - I was “lucky” in that the good friends I had were many of those who stepped out early. Heck, my oldest friend on here that I know is probably @icanbeyourmuse, @WhiteRaven and @hellfrog - and that is all only 14 to 12 years ago. I have very few friends I’ve known that long, and losing one - even as people will go “ONLY INTERNET FRIEND” but that’s nonsense -must hurt. Really. I’m sorry you had to experience it.
Side note: I am glad you are now a penguin, which is a fine and noble beast.
When someone shows you who they are, over and over again? Believe them.
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@Narson Goin’ to The Froge tonight.
