JKER Banned Discussion Thread

[Roz]

@GF said in On the utility of Logs, Receipts, and Proof:

@Roz I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have said anything, but the mods want to know if this is happening to anyone else and wanted me to be the one to ask since if I’m the only one getting this kind of hatemail, them asking if anyone else has done it would out me anyway.

Oh my gosh, no not at all!! I was going WTF at JKER for the behavior you described.

[mietze]

I don’t understand. How is that NOT creepy-ass behavior?

Someone cold DMs someone here about how IoleRae is a bad person, after them kind of really sharply reacting to her in the first place in the thread more strongly than anyone else replying, linking to MSB about a thread they claim she’s being a bad person in?

I’m sorry, but that’s just gross. And she’s already had to deal with a weirdo trying to poke at her here pretty publicly early on.

It’s true that IR is a friend, but as someone who was only kind of skimming I was like wow this dude has it out for her for some weird reason. A DM like that to a 3rd party is not a good sign.

[Pavel]

@mietze said in On the utility of Logs, Receipts, and Proof:

I don’t understand. How is that NOT creepy-ass behavior?

It’s being a creepy asshole, sure. We’re restricted from acting unless it’s:

@Tez said in GOOD DAY:

Repeated and egregious crossing of the asshole/troll line such that it makes the board an unpleasant place to be.

That’s why we want to know if others have experienced the same thing.

[Tez]

@mietze It’s asshole behavior, but I’m not sure it’s bannable behavior. We haven’t really finished discussing.

[Pavel]

Blanking the post to remove a badly thought out joke. Leaving post so the curious can see the edit log.

[mietze]

@Pavel Wow. OK.

[Pavel]

@mietze It was a reference, from the before times. >_>

[mietze]

@pavel that was a pretty hellish time for me. i didn’t appreciate my name being invoked then and i don’t now. didn’t think that could hurt still but it sure does.

[Pavel]

@mietze I am enormously sorry. I didn’t think before I wrote.

[IoleRae]

This post is deleted!

[Tez]

Deleted since IoleRae deleted.

[IoleRae]

@GF

Thank you.

[mietze]

@Pavel i appreciate the apology. I hope you understand why it felt like a very low blow.

[Warma Sheen]

@mietze said in On the utility of Logs, Receipts, and Proof:

I don’t understand. How is that NOT creepy-ass behavior?

I don’t understand how that is. Sending someone a link to a forum post doesn’t really rate for me, specifically in the context of the conversation being had.

In fact, it just kind of reinforces the argument that anyone can call anyone else creepy just to weaponize the term and expect everyone else to take it seriously.

Do I agree with anything that was said or done? No. But calling someone creepy just to trigger people’s alarms on them is also problematic. They can be held accountable for their more accurately described behavior.

[Pavel]

@Warma-Sheen said in On the utility of Logs, Receipts, and Proof:

I don’t understand how that is.

Sending private messages to someone with whom you have no prior association, simply to dredge up an old discussion with vague allusions to how this thread makes a third party a bigot or otherwise horrible? That’s pretty fuckin’ creepy.

[helvetica]

@JKER said in On the utility of Logs, Receipts, and Proof:

I suggest you either just ban them off the bat or you offer actionable advise which the sexpests will still ignore

Couldn’t have said it better. We’re witnessing a poorly executed attempt to start to a whisper campaign. Gotta say if this was a game we were all playing on, I would want to see this person gone.

But we’re not on a game? I’m on the fence, it’s early, and I don’t yet have my good words. I do know that I place a higher value on making sure two existing members of our community feel comfortable in this space than I do on being fair to some rando.

[Pavel]

@helvetica Agreed.

He hurt my friend, so while I’ve expressed my opinion in the admin group chat (not as exciting as it sounds), I’m not putting forward any official vote so as to avoid bias.

Were it up to me, I’d personally set this person on fire.

[BloodAngel]

[Warma Sheen]

@Pavel said in On the utility of Logs, Receipts, and Proof:

Sending private messages to someone with whom you have no prior association, simply to dredge up an old discussion with vague allusions to how this thread makes a third party a bigot or otherwise horrible? That’s pretty fuckin’ creepy.

I don’t think most of that is anywhere near accurate. He was clearly responding directly to someone that argued a point he made with what he thought was evidence of that point. It was very direct.

That is basically the format of the forum. That’s what we all do here. One person makes a point. Someone else argues against it. The first person backs up the point they made.

If what makes it ‘creepy’ is that he decided to share his evidence privately through DM rather than try to blast IR publicly, then you might want to consider disabling DMs or change the policies to ban people from DMing others without prior permission.

[GF]

I have fairly specific definitions for creepy, so to me, JKER’s DM was not that. What it was is unacceptable, because:

-it took a public feud private, implying there’s something to hide about this particular action, which makes me feel complicit in something underhanded
-it drew me into a literal whisper campaign of character assassination–you know, the kind of thing certain people are so vehemently against allowing-- without my having expressed any interest in being part of one and with JKER knowing I wouldn’t be interested, as proven by their telling me not to respond to the DM because neither of us would enjoy it
-it offered no arguments, just an offensively transparent Barnum statement that whatever I read in that enormous thread that made me mad is the proof they were talking about
-it tries to get me to validate a year-old feud by using me as fuel for the metaphorical fire
-it does all these things about someone I like and trust enough to believe doesn’t deserve this level of disrespect. I like to believe I’d be this mad if they did it about someone I can’t stand, too, but they definitely went after the wrong person with me

This doesn’t rise to my personal standards of being creepy. The word I’d use is… actually, the word I’d use is probably not permissible under the terms of service, so let’s stay polite and stick with “unacceptable.”