Celebrities We Lost 2024

Alveraxus

Can we post ones we don’t mourn or regret?

Dodi : Suppose I could deliver you a star so big that little children in the crap-infested streets of Calcutta know his name.

Peter Dragon : Dodi, I’m eating spring rolls.

Dodi : Sorry. But suppose I could deliver this huge star, I mean, a guy better known than Tom Hanks, and you’d only have to pay him scale?

Peter Dragon : Who is it?

Dodi : Well, he’s a very complicated client.

Peter Dragon : Who is?

Dodi : I can’t tell you.

Peter Dragon : Can you give me a hint?

Dodi : Eh, he had some legal problems.

Peter Dragon : Drugs? Is it Robert Downey Jr.?

Dodi : No, Pete, my man’s clean. Straight-arrow, strong, healthy.

Peter Dragon : Can you give me a bigger hint?

Dodi : Well… he was falsely accused of a double murder.

[pause as Peter looks at him]

Dodi : Now, because of the potential P.R. problems, my agency can’t officially

[makes air quotes]

Dodi : represent him.

Peter Dragon : You’re pitching me O.J. Simpson.

Dodi : Yes, I am. Pete, little children in Calcutta know his face.

Peter Dragon : Yes, they know to run away from it.

Dodi : The name is more recognizable than Tom Hanks.

Peter Dragon : Okay. But, you know what, Tom Hanks refuses to go that extra mile and hack his WIFE to death!

Dodi : He was acquitted, man! Pete, with all due respect, someone’s gonna put him in something, and people are gonna want to see him. Sure, at first, as a curiosity, but I think they’re going to be pleasantly surprised with his acting chops. Now, he’s been studying with a coach- I recently saw him do a monologue from “Raisin in the Sun”.

Peter Dragon : Really? How was that?

Dodi : Truthfully? It was very moving.

Peter Dragon : Dodi?

Dodi : Yeah?

Peter Dragon : Get out!

Dodi : How about a villain? He’ll play a villain. Come on, who’s scarier?

[mimes stabbing]

Peter Dragon : YOU’RE scarier! God!

Dodi : Come on, Peter, just the shock value sells a million tickets, and he’s going at bargain-basement rates. Hey Pete, do you play golf?

Peter Dragon : You know what? I think I just threw up, like, inside my throat? Get out, please.

[shuts the door on him]

Dodi : [from outside] Okay, but just a word of warning: The guys at Fox are all over him!

Testament

@Alveraxus I vividly remember being in high school and my friends dad selling his white Bronco because he didn’t like either the jokes he kept getting about it.

That said, some assholes should’ve gotten their comeuppance. Not sorry he’s dead, just a shame it didn’t happen sooner.

Deviant

OJ Simpson

TNP

@Alveraxus said in Celebrities We Lost 2024:

Pete, with all due respect, someone’s gonna put him in something, and people are gonna want to see him.

A coffin. rimshot

junipersky

Robert MacNeil, creator and first anchor of PBS ‘NewsHour’ nightly newscast, dies at 93

Third Eye

@junipersky
Man, MacNeil/Lehrer were my news heroes when I was coming up as a little journalism student (I was that kind of kid lol). The show is still the best nightly news cast you can watch, I think. Hell of a legacy.

Vulgar Boy

@Alveraxus There’s always room for grave dancing. I mean, I’m still starting the morning with a little jig thanks to Kissinger riding the one way tramway to hell.

Kestrel

Théoden

R.I.P. King

SpaceKhomeini

@Kestrel

AND THE RED DAWN

MisterBoring

Steve Albini, 61 - Legendary producer of hundreds of bands such as Nirvana, The Pixies, Mogwai, and Sunn O))) in addition to singing for the bands Shellac and Big Black.