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MU Peeves Thread
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@Pyrephox said in MU Peeves Thread:
Give me bitter but conflicted exes.
This was something I never imagined would be fun to RP until I had a chance to. Kind of hilarious that something that can be so fucking miserable IRL just leaves you cackling in delight to play pretend about.
As for the rest of the romantic spectrum, I have also firmly settled in the camp that needs something else going on to find it worth the time invested and the risk of potential OOC wackiness. There’s certainly nothing wrong with people who just want to essentially play house, but that ain’t my cuppa. Lovers in a time of war? One of them is secretly an assassin robot? Their own children time traveled back to ensure they met? YUSPLS
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@Wizz said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Pyrephox said in MU Peeves Thread:
Give me bitter but conflicted exes.
This was something I never imagined would be fun to RP until I had a chance to. Kind of hilarious that something that can be so fucking miserable IRL just leaves you cackling in delight to play pretend about.
was it ME
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@Roz UM WOW OK ROZ JEEZ NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT U
but yes it totally was
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@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
That said, the last two IC romances I’ve had in last two years have gone well, but likely because I followed my own advice above, someone I know, and having a discussion before anything happened.
Agree!
Talking things out and checking in is a very crucial part of any sort of relationship, even one in pretendy fun times. Heck, especially in pretendy fun times, as you’re both generally just trying to have fun, and you’ll likely play with one another again at some point down the road.
Communication! It’s important.
Like actually.
(But also so are spontaneous just-because hook-ups.)
Hmm. Yes.
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@Solstice said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
That said, the last two IC romances I’ve had in last two years have gone well, but likely because I followed my own advice above, someone I know, and having a discussion before anything happened.
Agree!
Talking things out and checking in is a very crucial part of any sort of relationship, even one in pretendy fun times. Heck, especially in pretendy fun times, as you’re both generally just trying to have fun, and you’ll likely play with one another again at some point down the road.
Communication! It’s important.
Like actually.
(But also so are spontaneous just-because hook-ups.)
Hmm. Yes.
I once had someone jump my shit for asking, OOCly, if there was any squicks or language or things best left avoided before things progressed to far as I didn’t want the naughty bits to be triggering or just take someone out of the RP…
And then they cut all contact with me, for asking and making sure everything was ok to continue.
Win some, lose some.
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@Mourne said in MU Peeves Thread:
I once had someone jump my shit for asking, OOCly, if there was any squicks or language or things best left avoided before things progressed to far as I didn’t want the naughty bits to be triggering or just take someone out of the RP…
And then they cut all contact with me, for asking and making sure everything was ok to continue.
Win some, lose some.
SEE I DO THIS. I ASK. But the worst that’s ever happened is I get giggled at. And I’m fine with that.
But I need to know if ramming the [censored] with [censored] [censored] and [censored] until [censored], as an example, is acceptable language or if I need to amp it up, or tone it down, or maybe be super vague as preferable. I’m adaptable, I want my writing partner to enjoy themselves and definitely not trigger them.
I draw things! http://www.mahaldoodles.com
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Yus! Feeling things out is great and all (really great), but it’s so easy to accidentally step on someone’s comfort levels that asking is totally appreciated.
@Mourne said in MU Peeves Thread:
I once had someone jump my shit for asking, OOCly, if there was any squicks or language or things best left avoided before things progressed to far as I didn’t want the naughty bits to be triggering or just take someone out of the RP…
What.
Not sure why that would be a dealbreaker. I, too, hate when people try to ask me how to have a good scene. /big sarcasms
Oh well is right. Suppose at the end of the day, people are different people.
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@Mourne said in MU Peeves Thread:
And then they cut all contact with me, for asking and making sure everything was ok to continue.
Win some, lose some.
Sounds like you won that one.
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@Solstice I thought ‘different strokes for different folks’ was the live and let live of the hobby. It used to be understood and accepted and discussed that some people are so anxiety-ridden about OOC contact for various reasons that they have unexpected reactions to being paged in the middle of a fuck scene with a ‘how’s the service’ questionnaire, instead of considered worthy of mockery and/or sarcasm.
I’m not the person that did this to @Mourne, but I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t ended up avoiding people who decided mid-intimate scene was the Right Time
to initiate OOC contact. I was yanked out of the mindset of the RP, I was embarrassed, likely because of the sudden reality and perspective shift, and for some reason, that very action, the action of contacting me during said RP just made me so uncomfortable that moving forward with the same type of RP would be awkward for me.I’m sorry that’s a reaction you feel worth mocking, although it’s fair to be perturbed if someone has that kind of reaction then bolts, then never explains that’s where they’re coming from but assuming they’re just blacklisting players for ‘asking how to have a good scene’ is kind of a shitty take.
How about hashing that shit out before the intimate scene? How about, if the intimacy was unexpected and therefore harder to do that with, contacting the player after the scene in a less in-your-face medium than paging between thrusts to offer that support or dial in the things that would make future interactions more enjoyable?
TL;DR How about just not vilifying people who may just be reacting poorly for reasons that aren’t dickitry?
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@eye8urcake There was no intimacy going on yet, in my case. I wasn’t trying to vilify anyone, I was just surprised when it happened because I was trying to make sure nothing bad happened, to be respectful of people’s boundaries, and whatnot.
That’s all I wanted to say, the timing was very different than what you were presenting.
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I’m not sure why this is directed at me in particular, when I spent the better part of my posts saying that communication is important, but I ultimately am the one who responded with a GIF and incredulity, so I’ll take the hit.
In an ideal world, all of this would have been discussed prior to the scene, but I still think there’s something to be said about bringing it up at the first available opportunity.
In this hypothetical situation that I know none of the details about, I admit a bias to favor the person who is trying to feel out and establish boundaries, but I don’t think someone’s somehow being a jerk by disconnecting if they feel uncomfortable for any reason.
Very much not an all or nothing game, here. The entire point of communicating these things beforehand is to avoid the very circumstances that were being discussed.
I really don’t see the broad vilification there, and I apologize if that came across in my post - I’m a proponent of informed consent and frequent check-ins. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who can do it other ways.
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My @ to you was because you’re the one who felt the need to insert the sarcasm, no other reason. Your points were valid, but the sarcasm part seemed to put forth the idea that people who are doing this are doing it to be purposely shitty to people who are trying to be actively unshitty and that’s specifically the part I was addressing.
I realize I may have been sharper in tone than intended, because I don’t dislike the discussion or perspectives, and I apologize if I was. It’s a habit I have that I’ve been working on.
@Mourne said in MU Peeves Thread:
@eye8urcake There was no intimacy going on yet, in my case. I wasn’t trying to vilify anyone, I was just surprised when it happened because I was trying to make sure nothing bad happened, to be respectful of people’s boundaries, and whatnot.
That’s all I wanted to say, the timing was very different than what you were presenting.
That’s fair. My read seemed to indicate it was DURING, which is obviously a misread that’s on me, but that hit me in a sore spot because I have shut down in a scene when someone’s done this.
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Fair enough, and I only added the sarcasm to make it clear that I wasn’t inadvertently insulting @Mourne - it would have been a better call to have reworked the sentence entirely.
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@eye8urcake I tried to be very respectful as the scene was heading in an intimate direction but everyone’s clothes were still on. So I asked OOCly just to make sure and clarify things and I got chewed out for breaking RP, which is… ok, sure I can get that but to /me/, better safe than sorry.
I’d rather not assume my boundaries are the same as anyone else’s at all.
I don’t want to get into the fine details, but all the clothes were still on but the flirting was pretty heavy and direct and we’d progressed to private location.
It was precisely because people can have such negative reactions to things in RP or out of it, that I think it is important to ask. Any offense is not intentional, quite the opposite.
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@Mourne Yeah, no, I completely read your post wrong and absolutely thought it was during. I don’t feel the same way at all about before, or after, just DURING is so odd and awkward for me and FLEE FLEE FLEE and apparently a fucking trigger.
ETA I should probably mention that the first time this happened to me was someone who thought ‘This scene is SO HOT!’ was a good way to open up said discussions. That’s basically when I locked down all ‘live’ OOC communication avenues, only leaving Notes to negotiate through from then on.
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Have asked, will ask and will continue to ask. Player comfort in such scenes, and others that could be emotionally investing, is oh-so important to me. I’d rather the person felt comfortable, but also so boundaries are set.
Especially as, previously, I’ve had someone OOC - oh no I don’t like insert action and insert word which promptly pulled away the mood of the scene. Had I known it wasn’t compatible at that point, could have just fade to black and not gone through the motions for
several hours20 mins5 mins. -
I love this open, clear conversation. Weird to say as a spectator, but seriously, I just love to see it.
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I too do not want to be paged or OOCed in a scene to check my comfort level.
You will pull me out of my PC, ruin my immersion, make me feel anxious that I crossed a line and that’s why you are bringing it up, and guarantee I spend the rest of the scene in my head instead of the moment.
Just food for thought from the other side of “communication is key.” Get it done BEFORE it matters.
