@RightMeow if i’m not sure what to do/where to go regardless of if i’m the asker or askee, often times i just admit that. it doesn’t happen often for me as i’m good at brainstorming, but sometimes i do ask people if there’s anything they would want in particular just because, well, if i don’t know them or they don’t have asps or prefs or anything set i mean i can fling a lot of ideas out there but having someone say no i don’t like that again and again is kind of a bummer too so it never hurts to ask.
but i think it’s also okay to say “this is a little awkward but i hadn’t gotten to that stage yet because i was fretting about asking, so let me think about that for a minute, is there anything that YOU don’t want other than the no-brainers?”
i think anyone that is so hung up on people asking them in exactly the right way the first time upon meeting that they will never scene with you ever again probably isn’t a loss for you. in fact, steering clear of folks like that might be the recipe for happiness on the game so you don’t have to play walk on eggshells. most people aren’t like that. maybe they’ll have a brief moment of annoyance, or laughter because accepting used up all their momentary energy so they need to think too, but they’ll get over it. if they cannot then it would have been only a matter of time before you got yourself disinvited from sceneing with their august person anyway.