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How to Greet a Roster Player
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This thread will be about Arx. You have been warned.
When you take a new roster character, how do you prefer to be greeted by the character’s friends and family and org leaders? As an org leader I always try to page hello the first time I see them on, but it occurs to me that some people might feel that’s invasive or too much and just want everyone to back off for a minute. On the other hand, sometimes for characters that I had friendships with or kind of complicated relationships or romantic relationships, I often either wait until we naturally interact, or never say anything at all.
Do you prefer to be greeted, when, how, and by who?
as previously stated, good day.
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@farfalla I really would like to be greeted by org leaders, at least the main/family ones. This rarely happens. And I do know it can be a pain in the ass because I’ve BEEN there as an org leader, but jfc I feel fucking invisible when I’m logging on for a few days and get nothing but crickets.
Family members are nice to hear from.
The rest, eh. It’s nice to hear from friends/former patrons/etc. But I don’t feel like I’m out in the wind if I don’t hear anything.
ETA:
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@farfalla I like the ‘hellos’ and reaching outs on games with roster characters. It makes me feel that my pick (the rare times I attempt rosters) is wanted. Sometimes I’ll ask questions that /seem/ like I want power but it is not typically that (sometimes I plan characters for obtaining power in mind because that is what was expressed wanted). So, answers to those are always nice. It is usually stuff listed on the sheet that indicates they are X thing. I don’t really care if it is a ‘family member’ or whatever, just someone happy to see X character claimed, whether they have IC ties or not. Some people just want a certain thing played because the character is interesting but not their style.
I think this exact same curtesy can be extended to OCs too.
A simple hello can go a long way to make a person feel wanted. Obviously not everyone likes this. I do, though! I like hellos and asking if I would like fill ins for current stuff going on, some of which would probably be easier if the person was in family when it is story localized to that family. I don’t always want the info but it is nice to have the offer.
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Haven’t played Arx in a long while but the main part of the reason I never “stuck” with roster alts was because I’d come off the roster and never heard from anyone. A hello would go a long way I think.
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@icanbeyourmuse said in How to Greet a Roster Player:
I think this exact same curtesy can be extended to OCs too.
Yeah, this is a good point. Friends - and sometimes family - might not apply to an OC, but org leaders still do. I greet new OCs in my org the same as rosters.
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Also, if, as a pretty seasoned Arx player who knows how to reach out to people, I feel worthless if no one acknowledges my presence? Imagine how new(er) players feel.
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I still haven’t figured it out. In my case, because my character is not part of any families or anything, it’s pretty easy to just wait until I can organically reintroduce myself to them if they were just an acquaintance, but gosh, friendships and complicated relationships/rivalries/romance are so difficult to broach.
I usually wait to see if they even want that information via a BBPost, then I provide it in an @mail, basically just detailing a broad overview of how the characters have known one another in the most basic of terms. I’m quite scared of coming off as pressuring a continuation of a relationship when that might be totally unwanted, so I leave things very much past-tense.
…it extra doesn’t help that the first Roster transfer experience I encountered was DWOPP. Frigging DWOPP.
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Lol, whenever I page a hello to someone who takes a family member or my spouse they immediately log off.
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@Solstice There’s no good way to say “hey we used to bang” without sounding like a huge creep. I just let it die - though I have picked up rosters and known exactly who they were up to, because of old messengers.
as previously stated, good day.
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@farfalla said in How to Greet a Roster Player:
@Solstice There’s no good way to say “hey we used to bang” without sounding like a huge creep.
There’s really not.
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@farfalla ‘Our characters had a romantic-inclined relationship if you want to continue or discuss it, let me know’ implies, at least.
One belated note: Keeping up the ‘check in’ AFTER the ‘newness’ wears off is good too. This ties a little into my peeve about @RS and the people who do 1 or 2 scenes those first couple weeks then basically never again.
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One nice thing about folks in your org is that you can use the org channel there to start off the hellos, which I think may be a little less overwhelming than immediate pages! I feel okay saying hi to someone pretty immediately on an org channel. For pages, I try to not immediately leap on them as soon as they connect, but at least give them a few minutes to get settled and whatnot. But then, yeah, I’ll page, say hello, all that jazz.
For connections that aren’t org-based, it can be trickier. Good friendships? Yeah, absolutely, I’ll reach out. Sexual and/or romantic connections? Very situationally dependent. If it was just characters hooking up a few times and nothing beyond that, I’ll generally not say anything. If it was more involved than that, like a serious, ongoing connection? I’ll try to just broach it as respectfully as possible, letting the new player know there was a history, but giving them the opportunity to basically opt in or out of hearing about it. I also might wait a little longer than IMMEDIATELY when a character comes off the roster for that sort of conversation. It really just depends.
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@Roz I find that people logging in the first time aren’t always on the org channel, somehow?? But yes I also wait at least a couple of minutes before I page.
as previously stated, good day.
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@farfalla From my experience picking up a truly embarassing number of rosters, all of the org channels are turned off. I think it must be part of the wipe from the previous time the roster was played.
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@Snackness Makes sense. Usually they find their way to the channel but I’ve greeted some people via page that had no idea it existed.
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@farfalla said in How to Greet a Roster Player:
@Roz I find that people logging in the first time aren’t always on the org channel, somehow?? But yes I also wait at least a couple of minutes before I page.
I think they SHOULD be codedly, I remember them making that update at one point, although especially recently with the roster weirdness having to be done by hand, I bet that wasn’t turned on automatically. But yeah I’ll check the channel list to make sure first.
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My recent experience: I just picked up my second roster ever, and this is the first time I did not have an army of prior connections and orgs to draw upon. She is a bit of a blank slate in every way. Sent a mail and IC messenger to house leadership, but aside from a brief page chat with HoH, it’s been pretty quiet. A hello and some outreach is great and I’d definitely feel fuzzier with one, but I am also very aware that sometimes the other players just don’t have the bandwidth or time to make moves or commit to anything. Have to strike a balance, there, between eagerness to get involved and patience with everyone around me.
I am going to keep at it, hopefully without being a nuisance in the process, and make new connections that will fulfill me in the meanwhile. May even post something in OOC Stuff seeking connections. To Snackness’ point, it definitely took a while playing in Arx for me to build the confidence up to reach out like that, though.
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It always takes me 2+ days to remember how to turn channels on so a page is nice.
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It’s nice when HoH/Voice sends a welcome back to the city messenger with a little bit of “start-up” silver.
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I am normally an advocate for not expecting extra work from IC leaders, but greeting new people is the one thing I feel is definitely my responsibility. I also enjoy it! It’s wild to me that org leaders aren’t regularly doing that. Though I guess to be fair my org is very small.
I’m glad to know most people like being greeting. I sometimes worry I’m bothering people so now I can greet without fear. So if you join the King’s Own you can look forward to an enthusiastic hello. And some silver, for @helvetica.
