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MU Peeves Thread
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I think I get why people just wave instead of saying something with substance a person can respond to. I think it’s like when people set themselves as wanting RP, but when you ask them what they want to do, they say, “Oh, I’m up for whatever.” They want you to be the one to do the work of making a conversation and/or a scene happen. I’m less sure why they think that approach is a good thing in either instance, but it sure does feel like they’re related behaviors, right?
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@GF I mean, even just knowing that the purpose of a given random page is that the person would like to RP would be great! (Not as down for “make OOC conversation happen.”)
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@Roz Yeah. I get the feeling both behaviors are motivated by a fear of rejection: if you don’t ever say you want a scene because you’re trying to lead them to offer one to you, then the person you’re talking to can’t tell you no. That’s probably an incomplete understanding of what’s going on, of course.
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Just after getting over illness get punched in the face with strep throat next. Get through important battle scene shivering and bundled up but still enjoying. Now experiencing vertigo (for fun or maybe bc antibiotics).
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it’s really weird when people get nostalgic about missing a player who you remember as being a huge jerk to people all the time. it’s just like. ???
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Player who only played male characters, reminiscing: “… Yeah he was such a lovely guy, he was so nice to me.”
The Rest Of Us: “-are you serious? No, he was a dick. He was a sexist, manipulative douche who only gave plot to female characters he wanted to bang.”
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@Roz said in MU Peeves Thread:
when someone i don’t know pages “hi” and i say hi back and then they say “how’s it going” i want to scream
This is a personal pet peeve of mine as well, but I think it could be a cultural thing?
I get this all the time on Teams at work with our India based team. They send hi. I have to send hi back. They ask how I am doing, I have to say I am fine, how are you. Then they send all the stuff they need to talk to me about it.
I do not get this from our non-India-based teams. The Americans just start messages with “Do this thing” and skip the foreplay.
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@Alveraxus said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Roz said in MU Peeves Thread:
when someone i don’t know pages “hi” and i say hi back and then they say “how’s it going” i want to scream
This is a personal pet peeve of mine as well, but I think it could be a cultural thing?
I get this all the time on Teams at work with our India based team. They send hi. I have to send hi back. They ask how I am doing, I have to say I am fine, how are you. Then they send all the stuff they need to talk to me about it.
I do not get this from our non-India-based teams. The Americans just start messages with “Do this thing” and skip the foreplay.
it’s absolutely a cultural thing and i also get it from some people at work. i don’t think it’s an american vs other countries thing tho, because i do experience it from americans.
in both MUs and work i try to just head it off at the pass by saying something like “hi! what can i do for you?”
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@Roz said in MU Peeves Thread:
it’s absolutely a cultural thing and i also get it from some people at work. i don’t think it’s an american vs other countries thing tho, because i do experience it from americans.
in both MUs and work i try to just head it off at the pass by saying something like “hi! what can i do for you?”
Yeah, I’ve started doing that. And I was mostly trying to be funny, but didn’t mean to cast it as one group vs another.
Most of our US-based employees are from NY, NJ, and Philly, so…yeah. More of that than generic “American”.
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I hate that this is the first source I found for it but:
https://www.linkedin.com/advice/3/how-can-you-differentiate-between-transactional
Transactional vs relational communication was actually a big thing for me to learn when I was working at a place that involved SO MUCH WORK with people in relational countries. It is super regional! Broadly, there are definite trends.
I had to make fucking notes. It does not come naturally to me. I am SO transactional. It was eye-opening for me.
she/they
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I generally start a conversation with a wave, which is both a polite notice that I’d like to talk to you and a way for me to find out if I’m talking to a void before I start.
I live in a timezone that means people quite often aren’t there even if their character is. Often, by the time someone AFK comes back, I’m asleep. Better to just send a quick wave as a politer sort of ping.
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See, I look at that scenario and feel the opposite - if it might be a full day before I can talk to them, I’d feel inclined to include the reason in my first message
ETA: probably with a caveat that they should only write back when they’re free though
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@Evilgrayson said in MU Peeves Thread:
which is both a polite notice that I’d like to talk to you
While that might be your intent, a fair few folk here have established that’s often not how it feels.
Send your message proper, if you don’t get a reply in 30 minutes to an hour, send an @mail.
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
I think we can all agree that the following is horrible and should never be used except on your worst enemies:
You paged: Hi, can we talk?
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@Alveraxus said in MU Peeves Thread:
I think we can all agree that the following is horrible and should never be used except on your worst enemies:
You paged: Hi, can we talk?
<silence>Just reading this gave me anxiety
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@Floof Just reply to “We need to talk” with “Yeah, we do.”
Now they are ALSO anxious.
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@Pavel Which is nice if you already know that, but I’m not a mind reader and that’s very much not how I was raised.
Cultures vary. Even in the same country, cultures vary, and my culture and the culture of most people here are very different in some surprising ways. Just opening up with what I’m after would be seven shades of rude and utterly against all the rules of human interaction I’ve spent decades learning to follow by rote because buggered if I can actually understand any of them.
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In the immortal words of Dara O’Briain, if someone says “We need to talk” you immediately respond with “I fucked your brother”, and now it changes the entire conversation on your terms.
