Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Bannings
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On another note, if we are ever considering BMD to be someone’s living room, rather than the town square that I think a lot of us consider it to be (???), then I would very much like to be informed.
I will say that I liken it to a town square, but like a town square on market day. You’re free to act how you will, of course, but certain spaces are for certain things and it’s a real dick move to run counter to that intention.
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@sao Resting smug face is a thing.
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@hobos I’m a little late to this, but.
I saw what I saw. She lied to me. Repeatedly, and I thought we were on good terms. She’s definitely lying to you.
That’s all I’m going to say on this.
I draw things! http://www.mahaldoodles.com
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My god what I’d give to never read about VK ever again. I was friends with her once and wish I never met her. There.
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@Smile I don’t think I know her and sick of hearing about her.
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She did gross stuff to me personally, directly, within recent memory. She also did the same thing to me before. She used the first time she did it as evidence that I deserved the second time she did it. I knew nobody would believe me so I didn’t fight it, didn’t offer her a target, and did everything I could to stay off of her radar. It worked. Eventually other people figured out what had happened and I got apologized to. I’m only a little bitter, and my ire is reserved these days for her. The position that she put me in with her lies and gaslighting – that people I liked and respected believed UNTRUE things about me – it was hurtful, and it was deliberate, and I never got an apology from her.
There’s no fucking "both sides’ here. She did NOT apologize. She has NEVER apologized. I DID NOT AND NEVER DID DESERVE WHAT IT IS SHE DID TO ME. NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. NO HUMAN BEING EVER DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT.
And let me tell you, not being believed by people I respected and trusted SUCKED. It sucked on a fucking primal goddamned level.
It STILL makes me hurt and frustrates me on a fairly regular basis that thanks to her and one other DELIGHTFUL fucking individual, there are a number of people who genuinely believe some really terrible things about me, but don’t even really remember where it came from or why they think it. I long ago realized that the only way to get past that is just to keep showing up as myself, but it’s fucking rough sometimes. ESPECIALLY when people start howling that this sort of behavior, the person did nothing wrong. WTAF.
the entity previously known as Sunny
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It’s very easy to believe her when the tinted glasses are on. She seems lovely at first and then you -see- her pulling some bullshit and you’re like “well shit”. I kind of hope hobos snaps out of it soon but if he doesn’t, his problem.
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@IoleRae I think I’ve been lucky enough to dodge her on most places, but I’m sorry she tricked folks about you, and I’m glad you’re doing better!
Mummy Pun? MUMMY PUN!
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@IoleRae For what it’s worth Sunny, I think I had enough of a balance in the people I spoke to that I didn’t just take what one person said to me and run with it. I think a lot of people have more than one MU group (regardless of the clique suggestions), so we hear different things from different people and draw our own conclusions. It doesn’t mean our conclusions are right but it does stop us thinking of people as ‘bad’ or ‘good’ until we see evidence of the behavior.
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Thanks. It’s a particular sort of manipulation tactic that relies heavily on humans being humans – it’s really hard to think that somebody you enjoy so much is literally making things up wholecloth about somebody who can be super abrasive. It is what it is, you know?
But when it’s exposed, and open in the light, and everybody can SEE it, I have absolutely no comprehension as to how anyone can condone that behavior. It’s deliberately hurtful!
While I appreciate that, I was told directly that I was a liar, and I was also subject to a number of very drastic shifts in level of engagement in areas that were really predictable and clear to see from my perspective. It was also confirmed to me in the apologies I was tendered that I was not imagining that people were believing her shit and treating me differently because of it.
the entity previously known as Sunny
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I am so sorry about that. That’s fucking awful.
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But when it’s exposed, and open in the light, and everybody can SEE it, I have absolutely no comprehension as to how anyone can condone that behavior. It’s deliberately hurtful!
Again, not wading in on the debate here:
But this is actually a combination of two interesting psychological phenomena. The status quo effect, which makes it hard to change thought patterns, even if the new option is better for us in some way, and the anchoring bias, which is where we tend to stick with the first thing we learn on a subject (often seen in a person’s preferred version of something, like which is one’s favourite James Bond, for instance).
This isn’t an excuse for any of the aforementioned behaviours, but something one should keep in mind when encountering new information regardless of what it is. Your cognitive brain doesn’t assume new information is as important as reinforcing old information.
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
@Pavel Yes. My fave bond was Pierce Brosnan because Die Another Day was the first Bond film I watched.
I then watched more. So.
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I am OK. But this is the behavior that’s being defended. It’s disgusting. People don’t forget this shit, no matter how many times you change your name.
I’ve done some shit in this hobby. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’m nowhere near a saint, and I completely understand when people don’t like me for honest reasons. I’m a lot to take, sometimes! But I am not deliberately cruel. I generally mean well. I care really hard about everybody involved here whether they care about ME or not.
My mistakes don’t justify what she did to me. Nobody else’s mistakes justifies what she did to them. She MAKES THINGS UP. Completely. Totally. Out of nothing. Again and again, it’s a pattern of behavior.
Why? Why me? Why do I get targeted for these campaigns? I don’t know, I don’t understand, but it’s happened enough times that a- I know mostly how to deal with it, and b- I can be pretty secure in knowing the truth will come out eventually. It has, EVERY time so far. Even Spider got caught eventually. Somebody might not believe me today, but they will eventually, and things will be OK.
That’s fucking fascinating, thank you.
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@Pavel I’d say it also plays into the blowback effect to some degree. That once we establish a certain bias that frames part of our worldview, it is very, very difficult to change that. As it means confronting the aspect that our worldview may be wrong.
To the degree that this part of our brain that rationalizes these things is also tied to our fight or flight response. So when we’re confronted with something as truth that disproves our already established bias, people sometimes have a physical response to it.
I’m not saying this is what’s happening here, but it does remind me of it.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament Oh undoubtedly. I was focusing more on the pure cognition side over the behavioural, but it’s all linked and overlapped. Like a really bad omlette.
ETA: That is to say over the cognitive-behavioural. Science terms.
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@hobos I’m a little late to this, but.
I saw what I saw. She lied to me. Repeatedly, and I thought we were on good terms. She’s definitely lying to you.
That’s all I’m going to say on this.
Same. SAME. I think that’s what really got me when the curtain got pulled back. I had always had good IC relationships with Moniques since the Greenmarch came on the grid (or got players - alpha days and all). Even when she tried telling me, during incarnation 1 or 2, that two of my dearest friends were telling all their friends not to talk to her (to which I informed her they never said anything like that to ME, or would), I still maintained a pretty friendly IC and OOC relationship. I genuinely enjoyed the story of their friendship over the IC years.
Why would she lie to me? Lie is the wrong word, really. Purposely and knowingly mislead me, for what exact reason? Why seek me the fuck out and ply me with bs about having read journals and really wanting to keep what ‘sounded like’ a great history? To ‘continue to do the IC friendship the honor it deserved’ to paraphrase? We never had a beef. She laid it on pretty fucking thick when it wasn’t necessary, which says all I really need to know about who she really, really is.
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What I don’t understand is why we keep hearing again and again about how certain people did a thing to someone five years ago or ten years ago and how that makes them an awful person today.
Like, I get that some people did some super weird things, and were manipulative, etc. And maybe they haven’t grown out of it, and maybe they have. But if they aren’t actively doing stuff to you, why would you be actively trashing them on here?
Not aimed at a particular person or group because this seems fairly common (and I see the same people doing it that are themselves a target of it, so it’s kind of one big circle that I don’t understand).
It seems like grudges last forever to hear people talk about them.
EDIT: Sorry, this was meant as a general reply to the thread, not to a specific person. Didn’t realize there was a reply and a “reply as a topic” drop down.
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@schrodingerscig This all happened two months ago.
In regards to Macha, someone asked? And Macha herself was bringing it up in DMs to strangers?
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Five or ten years ago is relevant when the behaviors happening in the present are the exact same. People are talking about things that are happening in the present sense, and noting that they have their roots in events ten years ago. As in, that’s when the problematic behavior STARTED, but has not yet STOPPED.
You don’t get a pass on bad behavior for it being in the past…until you stop doing it.
