It’s so weird, but I live in The City half time, now. I look out the window and there’s lights and people no matter the hour. My new schedule is solid, it’s every other week; I get my people time in at the office (in person, and omg I love these people SO much), and those other weeks…I never expected to live here, and I basically do. Looking out the window here is amazing. I can get off on my exit on the freeway and get right to my parking space without any trouble, and I don’t even feel any anxiety about it any more.
Having stability is helpful; NewJob has me into a stricter rhythm than we had before. It’s nice. I get to see his kids, but they’re not here every time I am. My therapist has taken her week off between working for somebody else and opening her own practice, and she just emailed me saying she’s ready whenever I am. Things are…good.
I gotta say, folks – if things get bad, just…hang in there. The only way out is through. I’ve had one hell of a fucking year, things could not have been worse – and things could also not have been better. It’s…been a year, lol. My partner passed away, my boss (The Dream Boss, folks) got fired, as did one part of my team; the rest of my team quit, except for me and one other person (plus a couple of new hires)…I got kicked out of the place I’d been staying pretty abruptly (family, sigh), ended up having to cut off some family (sigh)…
…reunited with The One, the guy I’ve been in love with since I was an actual child (it’s okay, he’s the same age as me)…quit the job that turned terrible to go work for The Best Boss again doing the most INCREDIBLE work (shit we’d always talked about getting to do if we had the opportunity at our old place of work)…stuff that matters in the day to day lives of people who it makes a super huge difference for. It’s doing good on a daily, tangible level. Every day. I have stable housing, my kid is doing SO well, and we’re in a situation now that if something happens to me, he’s ultimately going to be okay. We have people.
The feral kitten, the little bebe, the boyfriend agreed to take her, and she is the sweetest little housecat guys. She is forever inside now and she is so happy, she bonded with him, she was guarding his back tonight and everything. He loves her. WHEW. Vet appointments are a million years out, but they are had.
Y’all who helped me get through this, @mietze and @Testament and @Pavel and @GF and @Selira and and everybody else…(I’m not sure of everyone’s BMD names, and y’all know I have holes in my brain, I’m sorry!! I love you, person I did not list here!), thank you.