Tough Calls
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I’d like to hear some experiences from staffers that have had to make the tough call to ban what they’d consider problematic players, or players that were simply not a good fit. What factored into your decision? How did you approach it? Did you consult with other staffers? Did you receive any backlash? Did you set aside time to discuss the ban with them or did you simply notify and ban? Did you issue warnings? Did it result in a healthier atmosphere, a worse atmosphere, or something else?
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@Yam Staff groups that I’ve been a part of have banned a whole bunch of problematic players.
In some cases, it was because we (I’m always part of a Staff team, and we always discuss bannings) had credible reports (usually from multiple folks, but not always) of creepy or harassing behavior. In those cases we do not give warnings, we notify, ban, and put up a post with the broad outlines of the reasoning (we never out victims in those posts or in the notifications).
In other cases, we’ve had less pointed reports (a general bad feeling, behavior that we felt was borderline, etc) and we have given warnings. Again, those warnings discuss the behaviors, not people, and we always do our best not to out victims. We also try to give steps to improve behavior and avoid another incident.
And in a few cases, we have banned people because they were causing more difficulty for Staff than their efforts were giving to the game. This is generally people who demonstrate a poor attitude or an inability to stay within the realm of the theme and setting. In this case, we do give a warning.
We have lost other players because of players we’ve banned, but in almost every situation, we have at least one other player who comes up to us afterwards and thanks us for removing the troublesome player. Sometimes it’s one of the reporters, sometimes it’s someone else entirely. I have yet to regret a single ban that I’ve been a part of, even if I may be sad that some people choose not to see the problematic behavior of their friend and take their time elsewhere.
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Never regretted a ban. Have regretted not banning.
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As a staffer:
Summarily banned, with no warning or even notification, a player who’d been RPing sex with child PCs.
Banned somebody who wanted NPCs to be dumb for them and refused to accept “no” for an answer and shut up about it.
Banned somebody who was edging up to gross teen sex stuff, and also was just a problem for not complying to course-corrections regarding theme, so I was already every week telling them stuff like, “No, animals are just animals and you don’t have a gull friend that steals food for you,” and such. This player was actually a lot of fun, I thought, but they just wouldn’t stop being a little too special.
Banned someone who refused to RP IC consequences and tried to escape them by disconnecting or going OOC, and got really rude when told that their PC would have to deal with the situation, not wait for everyone to forget it.
Didn’t ban, but had a player cuss at me and leave because the game was not what they wanted it to be. Which was fine, though I am sorry he’d wasted enough time thinking things were otherwise that it felt like a cheat to him.
Didn’t ban, but should have, somebody who was really bothering other players by using them for emotional support when they didn’t want to take on that role. I knew this was a problem and had talked to the player about it, but I didn’t know it was as big a problem as it was, and the players being harmed were shy to tell me and just left. I ought to have been more proactive about that, the fear-of-staff thing is a problem to overcome.
I didn’t have other staffers to ask. There was no backlash that I was aware of. Three in five got subdued cheers.
As a player:
Not banned, but asked to make a new, less depressing, PC, or leave, since I didn’t fit the intended tone of the game. It was polite and clear, and I did as asked.
Actually banned. From my PoV, it was that the staffer, a former friend, had decided abruptly that they didn’t like me/want to play with me any more but didn’t tell me in words, but by treating me like shit and responding to my “why are you treating me like shit?” and “that was shitty,” by claiming it was a mistake and that we were friends while campaigning against me to others, getting really wound up about it, and imagining/claiming that twice monthly interactions with me were daily rants and harassment. It was far from without warning, but the warnings all came with denials, and direct ‘am I even welcome on this game?’ questions answered with repeated lies of ‘we’re friends, you are wanted, stay’ to me but seen as a violation of boundaries as if an autistic guy is gonna see the unstated line when you’re directly communicating that it’s not there.
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Only banned once or twice. That said, always had a very clear policy following Wheaton’s Law (“Don’t be a dick”). People know when they’re being assholes. If they’re being assholes, they need to be somewhere else. This is a private party and if you piss on the carpet, you will be escorted off the premises. The clearer that is, the fewer people seem to feel a need to test limits.
There are a few people whom I’d ban on sight. Those are the known predators who have a history of causing game meltdowns or driving away vulnerable players. I wouldn’t invite a known predator into my house in real life, either.
On the other hand, a few people who have been problematic elsewhere, have turned new leaves on Keys and never caused trouble. Sometimes, people do learn from their mistakes and just need a fresh start.
The most arguments I’ve watched around banning and behaviour were on games where game policy was three pages long and waffling. The shorter and more concise it is, the less attempts to rules lawyer out of trouble. Because people do indeed know when they’re being assholes.
