@bear_necessities said in MU Peeves Thread:
I’m not entirely sure how the two things you mentioned go together; no one’s telling you not to make zombie armies…? That’s not even remotely slutty. Unless they are slutty zombies. And then again, you do you (or him or her or whoever!) but keep it contained to the people who consent?
I’m a bit amused how you replied to the joke part of my post and ignored my actual point that many games, themes, and settings do touch on sexuality. I get what you’re saying, time and place, blah blah, but you can’t just say ‘but muh theme’ as an overall objection, at least in my opinion.
I’ve spent time over the years thinking about my position on these things, which has for sure changed over time. It’s a complicated topic honestly. Women get slut shamed, even by other women. If there’s someone you want to RP with but he’s always hanging out with some chick, it tends to get framed as for sure TS with the woman being on the ‘doing wrong’ side of it.
Women are the ones stated as ‘causing drama’ when love triangles go wrong. Dudes who are creeps get written off and eye rolled, despite being legitimately RL dangerous. (I honest to god have stories and I’m sure others do as well)
Even in the example with the submissive guild mate, it wasn’t the man (who is clearly complicit) that was framed as being objectionable, it was the woman’s words and actions. That situation would have made me uncomfortable too, but since it was her actions, she gets the focus, despite it clearly being to his benefit as well.
As pro kink as I am, do I love people being roped into other peoples public displays of whatever? No. But I’m honestly not going to be outspoken about it like I once was — in a broadly speaking fashion.
With the whole groomer narrative RL about stuff like the dumb leather harness from Balenciaga, despite it being on several runways for spring and a thing in fashion long enough that there are fast fashion versions, I don’t trust people to know actual kink if it bent them over, spanked their ass and told them to say step on me mommy. I’m absolutely sick to death of hearing about sexuality being ‘rubbed in peoples faces’ over any slight show of gay affection.
There’s a redic thread of purity culture in MU* and I’ve been part of it, despite also being an unrepentant turbo slut. Someone in this thread (I think) actually managed to state that they don’t participate in TS in what I felt was straight up a non-judgy way, which is exceedingly rare. Aro/ace exists and that too is part of human sexuality and is a cool thing to explore. That’s kind of the point with sexual themes within themes. Sex is part of the human condition and seeing how your inhuman or sorta but not or magical human relates to it and your character themselves deals with things is another facet to play out.
You don’t like it? Ok. Can people’s behavior be annoying or gross? Yes. Can it ruin your scene? Absolutely. Does that suck? Yes. But let’s not pretend there isn’t a theme out there that doesn’t relate to sexuality in some way. Even a historical puritan game would relate to themes of sexuality. Frankly it might even hinge on it more than many other themes.
We should look more at how the attitudes around TS are actually pretty harmful to women and other marginalized groups, how we talk about things publicly versus privately, why shame has to be involved in any of it, and empower people to be able to set healthy boundaries by open discussion rather than setting a standard of purity being better.
Additionally, loud and clear boundary setting should be the gold standard. I’d rather hear a complaint of ‘these people were doing this and several of us stated that we didn’t feel comfortable with the scene and they continued to ignore our boundaries’ rather than ‘I wish people wouldn’t do this because ew’. Is there a difference? Absolutely. One scenario expects others to recognize that people are making you uncomfortable. The other gives them the option to either respect your feelings without any guessing games. It shows other players healthy boundary setting and communication.
I wrote this on my phone. I have no idea how long it is. I’d like to give a special thanks to the Adderall shortages for the rambling nature. I’m not proof reading this. It is what it is.