We got a verdict.
Termination of parental rights.
We tell the child Friday, and goodbye visit is the 24th.
I’m slowly trying to build the girl up to it by dropping hints like “Caseworker doesn’t want to see us at home.”
“Caseworker wants me to come home for the visit this time so both of us are there.” (Often just one of us is home for them because the other is at work.)
“It feels like this visit is going to be different.”
“I can’t wait for you to come to my middle school!!”
My first game was called Ansible Moo. It was based off Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game books. Every character was under the age of 12, though there were a few staff played teacher characters.
My best friend at the time who got me on it dropped off less than six months later because her parents didn’t like it. I hung on, got addicted, and it became a core part of me.
I’ve run the FB page for the game for… a long time. In the last year I reconnected with another player who brought me into the discord server run by the last admins of the game. (First serious online boyfriend played there and I went to their wedding as a plus 1.) It has been awesome reconnecting.
I think about this reply and insane amount for a forum post.
Because, see, even though we started the trial in April, added days in June, then again July, and had witten closing submitted the 13th of August… we still are sitting in limbo.
Today is October 5th. I have no doubt that we will hit 60 days in this case of the Judge working on her decision.
In that time the department fired the company contracted with for mom visits because they allowed mom to question the girls about a sexual disclosure from the youngest. Now they are providing visits on a shoestring basis - when the director of family time/caseworker and another worker with a therapudic license. It was suppose to be a stopgap for a week or two. We are moving into visit 8 with this.
The youngest has lost her foster placement and been moved.
Three of the 4 kids have had birthdays.
Bio-mom has gotten and lost 3 jobs.
Eldest foster mom is on FMLA from stress (not only the case, but after the Evergreen shooting a kid brought a gun to the school she is a nurse at and the administration didn’t act promptly.)
I feel like nothing will ever change, and since we know parents will appeal I can realistically see it just… continuing.
Written closing arguments are all submitted and now it is literally in the Judge’s hands. All we do is wait now.
Running from a game that involves some kind of play you have tried before and don’t enjoy is a rational thing to do.
@sao No, they won’t be final. 
But the general rule of thumb is that VISITS stop as soon as termination goes through, even with appeals to come. (The bio-mom rants on FB about appealing constantly). The pause will give the girls time in therapy and stable homes to keep processing their trauma and building skills. If appeals restart visits then they will just be that much stronger to face them.
I’m really proud of oldest sister. Shit went down again Monday with mom. She had decided to come back to the visits upon deciding that staying mad at mom for not believing her about her assault wasn’t helping her heal. Mom decided to be a prat and badger her and kiddo about why they hadn’t done calls with grandmother the previous night. When the girls both told bio-mom they didn’t walk to talk about it she got sarcastic-angry. Sister walked out of visit, had some hysterics, then told the supervisor and her foster mom what upset her. Mom got told to knock it off or visit would end, then sister went back in and finished the visit. She STOOD UP for herself.
We had a huge set-back in the case. Back in April they had a week of trial to terminate rights, and didn’t finish because the father’s lawyer objected so much. They scheduled two more days, and those happened this week. We were SURE it would wrap up but…
Because of 1 and 2, the county objected and said fhay if they didn’t get to cross her whole testimony should be tossed. The judge, professionally pissed, agreed to add another day.
In July. 
Our hopes that this would end this summer are officially squashed because they will need to also allow time for closing arguments (they are having them written and submitted to the judge.)
Mom also fucked up big time this week. During their visit she pulled older sister aside and asked if she was SURE their father had touched her. Older sister went into hysterics and only calmed down once her foster mom was there. They ended the visit.
All the kids have been given the power now to say if they want to go to visit or not. It just needs to be recorded. Eldest sister’s GAL is also submitting a motion for visits to end for her, but the other two GALs won’t be.
Kiddo has been missing her siblings badly, so I conspired with older sister’s foster mom and we suprised them both with a sleepover. Her foster mom passed me a bag, then I picked older sister up from camp (she was sssoooo confused it was me and not her foster mom) and told her she was getting a sleepover, and then we were waiting for kiddo when she came home from camp. She got really excited and chattered all the way back to our place with her happiness over seeing V because (see non happy thread in a bit.)
We locked the front door and lied that the garage door was broken so they had to come around to the front. Thus when kiddo knocked to be let in older sister opened the door and all nonchalant went “Oh? Do you live here? So do I for the night!” Kiddo almost lost her mind with excitement.
It makes me happy coming here and seeing all the posts and comments from people who have things to be grateful for. I may not be a huge part of the community any more because I have to focus on my foster daughter, but I still 
all of you.
So the trial… isn’t over. They ran out of time and so scheduled an additional two days in June. We aren’t very happy about the 60 extra days the defense gets but bio parents haven’t made much movement in the last 24 months, so what can legit happen in 60 days? That is eight more visits with the kids apiece.
Kiddo didn’t go to visit this last week because she had a fever - and she has been amazing. We are babying her a lot, but she is still getting upset about stuff then COMING BACK to regulation without losing her mind. Our only big battle was getting her back into her own bed from the nest wr made her on the floor next to ours.
Child’s parents are having their termination of rights trial this week. On the advise of all of the professionals husband and I did not go. Our kiddo is the most emotionally affected and we want to be present for her - and also not hear/see the garbage/evidence put up and have it impact our opinions on things. (We know that the parents are going to try to paint the kids as liars who just made up stories during the forensic interviews, and that the county is putting up poster sized images of what kiddo has drawn in her journals.)
But hearing NOTHING is driving me beyond madness. Especially since child is home sick with a fever I’m 95% sure is nerves. (She wants to go home to mom and dad but also can’t argue that she feels safe and loved with us and doesn’t want to leave us either.)
Some of my students are scared. A LOT of my foster family friends are scared. My caseworker is stressed AF. The county has 54 foster families, and some of those are undocumented because they are kindship placements. Losing them would rock the system - oh, and they’re facing budget cuts.
I know it is hard and I respect people wanting privacy so much.
Kid walks in this morning crying. His father died over break, like, early break. It is true. Teacher is blindsided and has no idea what kind of supports are needed.
I loved being an adult parent to adult children. Multiple people played Adalyn to Norwood and I enjoyed them all.