People in the hobby that hear “please leave me alone” and just…can’t.
Ever.
No matter what.
And somehow, SOMEHOW, you’re the villain for wanting them to leave you the fuck alone even after you’ve said (REPEATEDLY) that they need to do so.
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I AM STAYING IN MY CORNER. I WILL NOT COME BOTHER YOU IN YOURS. LEAVE. ME. ALONE.
this is not an unreasonable request.
In the midst of the chaos that is my life, I have received (and accepted) a job offer with a life changing salary, 3/4ths full time hours, with my old boss that got fired from my current job (and two of my other former coworkers I miss more than I would my arm if it got cut off). Doing the work I’m good at (that has been taken away from me at the tribe itself) with people that actively need MY specific brand of help, not just a warm body.
The start date is quite a ways off (I don’t want to leave the tribe out in the cold), but I have one. I’ve never made anywhere near this much money. I’m gonna be able to --even with my medical challenges-- get my white picket fences, a working car, and pay off all my years of medical bills.
It’s really hard to believe it’s gonna happen, but if it does…damn.
She did gross stuff to me personally, directly, within recent memory. She also did the same thing to me before. She used the first time she did it as evidence that I deserved the second time she did it. I knew nobody would believe me so I didn’t fight it, didn’t offer her a target, and did everything I could to stay off of her radar. It worked. Eventually other people figured out what had happened and I got apologized to. I’m only a little bitter, and my ire is reserved these days for her. The position that she put me in with her lies and gaslighting – that people I liked and respected believed UNTRUE things about me – it was hurtful, and it was deliberate, and I never got an apology from her.
There’s no fucking "both sides’ here. She did NOT apologize. She has NEVER apologized. I DID NOT AND NEVER DID DESERVE WHAT IT IS SHE DID TO ME. NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. NO HUMAN BEING EVER DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT.
And let me tell you, not being believed by people I respected and trusted SUCKED. It sucked on a fucking primal goddamned level.
It STILL makes me hurt and frustrates me on a fairly regular basis that thanks to her and one other DELIGHTFUL fucking individual, there are a number of people who genuinely believe some really terrible things about me, but don’t even really remember where it came from or why they think it. I long ago realized that the only way to get past that is just to keep showing up as myself, but it’s fucking rough sometimes. ESPECIALLY when people start howling that this sort of behavior, the person did nothing wrong. WTAF.
Not talking about it further, but I have to say: thanks guys. A+++ community response, very helpful, much appreciated, I am feeling safer instead of worse things again. You guys really are great.
As said by pretty much every single abusive asshole ever.
Which one of the people mentioned are you?
eta: even if they did show their receipts, it wouldn’t be good enough. then it would be time to nitpick, gaslight, go after the character of the witness, explain how they asked for and/or deserved it, or how they were fine with it right up until they posted and–and every other silencing tactic you can think of to possibly throw at it. We know your game. We don’t play it here.
No, and fucking leave me alone. Take your ‘fairly damning’ lies and shove them where the sun don’t shine. I don’t need to hear the shit that she MADE UP about me.
IT ISN’T TRUE.
And also, trying to THREATEN ME so that I will talk to you when I have you BLOCKED everywhere else?
THIS IS NOT GOOD BEHAVIOR.
Why are you participating in trying to victimize me further on her behalf, knowing that she makes up stories about me? “My side” is “she is lying and has been lying the whole time”.
My favorite part of the community split is that the worst of the slut-shamers stayed behind. 
It will stop and be boring much, much more swiftly if folks stop talking about it here. The only reason for the behavior happening in the way that it is is because the people doing it can CLEARLY see that the needling and backhanded insults are stirring everyone up.
This is Ghost and Monique, folks. They have a long-term history of intentionally getting under peoples’ skin for the purposes of just…being mean. Probably best to stop feeding them, as hard as can be.
They’re going to build what they deserve, and be stuck to marinate in their own shit. Just leave them to it. If it turns out that it winds up being positive and good and what they’re SAYING it’s going to be, then the hobby wins. In no world does continuing to engage serve the greater good.
The fact of the matter is, the overarching narrative there right now isn’t wrong. There was a schism, and it is generally positive for the hobby to have it split off.
The thing is though, who left was not a single clique.
It was everyone EXCEPT for a single clique.
There’s like 5 very distinct “social groups” inhabiting this place, and we’ve already seen scuffles between them that were dealt with immediately and generally amiably. There’s a last holdout of a second social group over there that hasn’t left yet, but given every time one of them speaks up the dominant group there accuses them of being “BMD”, I suspect they’ll be joining us sooner (rather than later).
Look at who is claiming that place as a “safe space, now”. Stalkers, harassers, abusers, gaslighters, and the people who enable them. Whoopdie do.
They can look at what they’ve built and be happy with it. I’d be mortified to have built an exclusive club for the worst people the hobby has to offer, but hey. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
@RightMeow said in Bannings:
I’m not posting hatred, but what I will say is the observations that you are being given - are not fully correct. I don’t think they are fully lies either. I think it is a selective bias being given to you.
I don’t think you meant this the way that it comes across, but I want to clarify: yes, a fair amount of what is being spouted is 100% fabrication, not based in fact at all. Much of what she says about me is complete falsehood, rather than a side of a story. I am not the only one treated like this. One of the biggest, most hurtful ways that the entire thing against me was accomplished was by somebody hearing her story, my flat denial, and the person in question going ‘whelp, two sides to every story’. But there wasn’t. I had not done anything except exist to have her making shit up about me.
This narrative is hurtful when in regards to people that were attacked and hurt with lies. Particularly given the “both sides” argument was specifically weaponized in this case. She RELIES on this, because people don’t ever believe that somebody just makes shit up wholecloth, that it has to be based in SOMETHING, that the person she’s lying about just can’t own their part in the conflict. That is how the whole scam works, by taking advantage of the benefit of the doubt and the “A, B, and the truth” narrative. We all know logs can be faked, but who ever thinks the one their friend sent them was?
I existed. This brought us into conflict. She lost her shit at me. I stood my ground. She started spouting crap to other people that had no basis in reality. Nothing. Made up things I said. Fabricated stories about things I did. Some people believed her. I, having just dealt with a round of that shit IRL, left. Years later, some person comes at me on a channel utterly unhinged, and then I get Talked To about having driven her off of a game before and not engaging. Who? Her? What? Oh fuck, I remember this ride. I’m not leaving this time, it will eventually come out. We had a repeat of the first time. I held my ground. It eventually came out.
fin.
I do not, will not, agree that this warrants that two sides bullshit. I did not do the things she accuses me of. I did not instigate a conflict. AT MOST, I had something she wanted – and that is not instigation. Anything that could be called “fairly damning” even a LITTLE BIT is fabrication. I was there.
Anyone here can tell people that I own a whole lot of my shares of conflicts. I am not above taking responsibility when I fuck up, because I DO fuck up. Had I done to her what she says I did to her I would be VERY SORRY, because I cannot cope with hurting people like that. I freak out when I think I MIGHT have hurt somebody’s feelings for actual seriousness. I like to fall on my sword if it will make somebody smile again.
The absolute hardest situation (gamewise, lol) I have dealt with in recent history was hard because my ask, “please leave me alone, please stop talking to me” was causing somebody else pain. The conflict spiraled up SHARPLY because protecting me meant hurting somebody I cared about and even though “please leave me alone” should not be hurtful it was still impossible and I got hysterical and the repercussions of that took a LONG time to resolve. Hell, that’s part of why I’m so upset about the current MSB thing – somebody I care about is hurting, but I have to, have to, have to take care of me and do what I feel is right. And that sucks, but there’s just no way around it.
I am messy, but I’m not cruel.
Long story short: Knowing (a very small amount of) what she says about me (and how untruthful that is), what she says about everyone else is just as suspect. Is it POSSIBLE that some of it is true? I guess maybe. Don’t think much of the really outrageous stuff is likely, though.
It is my opinion that there is a significant difference between the log that Cobalt posted and the log that the other person posted, yes.
@Pax said in Log Posting Standards:
This is what abusers do. They humiliate you by showing everyone that you were OK with what was happening up until a point.
This log wasn’t posted to convince us of anything. It wasn’t posted to make Macha look better. It was posted to humiliate someone she felt humiliated by, because she was rejected and reported.
This is my concern.
The other party may not even be on this site to ask for it to come down.
Yeah, I get it, and I’ve dealt with her specifically. I wasn’t accusing you (or anyone else) of anything. There’s been ‘if’ language in relation to her disability, and I was suggesting that we not speculate.
I have no good feelings for Macha and everything possible to be able to identify her should be shared, but I do think that speculation as to whether or not she’s as disabled or sick as she says she is should probably just not happen.
Are you Mercutio of ye olden days back when The Storyteller’s Circle was still around? I remember him being a good dude.
I genuinely think that the mod team here can tell the difference, and that telling that difference is both a- the whole reason for mods, and b- the hardest part of your job.
“I may not always be able to define it, but I know what it looks like.”
I am honestly very, very upset, putting myself in NAMEDELETED’s position. I genuinely do not understand how given the entire context of the situation, ‘hands off’ is the correct approach. Y’all have context. Y’all know this isn’t positive. You “suspect” but…won’t act without that suspicion confirmed. “pick and choose” what is and isn’t against the rules is the role of a moderator.
Somebody is being victimized, and we are perpetuating and providing their abuser a platform to continue.
@Pavel said in Enjoy the Reads!! (Admin: ETA a content warning. It's THE LOG from The Pack thread.):
@GF said in Enjoy the Reads!! (Admin: ETA a content warning. It's THE LOG from The Pack thread.):
But we know how the recipient feels: they already reported this incident to Cobalt as harassment
No, we know how the recipient feels about the incident in the log, not about the log being posted. The admin team here is only concerned with the latter.
We don’t know who the poster is, or their intentions. And we aren’t going to discourage people from posting logs unless their intention to harass (or otherwise break our few rules) is clear, or the individuals concerned make it clear to us that they feel harassed.
Do I think the poster is foolish for posting these logs without comment? Yes.
Is that against the rules? No.
I’m very disappointed. This log being here is harassment; it is so bad that reading it made Cobalt shut down her game. If people aren’t joking, it’s been triggering people. This is…harassment, this is obviously harassment, and the victim not showing up and going ‘please take it down’ – that’s…I don’t understand the reasoning behind this.
“We have no proof that the abuser intended to harass the victim by posting this, so it’s not harassment.” wtf. What the actual fuck. This isn’t a debate, this isn’t a discussion, nothing helpful or positive or constructive can come out of this log. There’s nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to verify, there’s no function this log serves beyond harassment. Cobalt already posted enough of it.
“We don’t know how the victim feels.” Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we need to enable them to be further victimized using our tools.
“Light moderation” is no excuse for condoning harassment. HARASSMENT is the whole reason we need mods at all.
@bear_necessities said in Enjoy the Reads!! (Admin: ETA a content warning. It's THE LOG from The Pack thread.):
I don’t understand why this was posted again, someone explain.
It was an attempt to shame the other player, at my guess, by including their name where the first log took their name out – I further suspect that this log has been selectively and slightly edited to make Mackenzie look better. Some rolls removed and others left, for example.
It also includes spicy poses that I don’t think were in the first one, which can cause a lot of embarrassment for somebody to have their poses posted like that.
tl;dr: this is an attempt at revenge on the player in question. Macha is incredibly vindictive.