Joy.
A healthy community needs joy. It’s one of the most vital ingredients, and one that’s too often overlooked.
Some gamerunners and administrators often fixate so greatly on all the many ways that misery can be caused, and must be prevented, that they neglect to allow enough room for people to breathe. A good community isn’t just one where people aren’t actively being harmed; it’s one where people are actively enjoying themselves.
In every community/project I’ve ever run, I’ve started from a point of wanting to offer people as much freedom as possible, and from there opted to limit only what really needed to be. I assume people won’t abuse a system or any trust offered; if I’m proven wrong, then I either handle the individual doing so, or reinforce the boundaries that need to be. I find that people generally want to live up to expectations, or inversely, down to them. If you treat them like children, they will act like children; I think that bad administrators often have those notions of cause and effect the wrong way around. There are always exceptions, but people want to be liked; don’t corner them, don’t make them feel unwelcome, don’t cultivate a hostile atmosphere, and the likelihood they’ll be on their best behaviour is in fact very high. I’ve seen notoriously toxic communities transform entirely when ported into an environment where they understand that both expectations of them, and the treatment they’re likely to receive in turn, are different. They have no reason to be hostile when they don’t feel like they’re constantly being threatened.
Try not to punish people if you can help it. Prevention is better than retribution. Sometimes you need the latter, but the former’s always better. On a game, this means designing systems that encourage positive behaviour rather than simply shaming people for bad behaviour. I’m going to deliberately use a fictional example that to the best of my knowledge doesn’t exist anywhere, because I don’t want to subtweet: a system that allows people to silently vote on your description, and rewards you with some kind of XP bonus upon crossing an approval threshold with other players, would be better than one that allows other players to report typos in it and affect you with some kind of malus for having them. But as mentioned, this is a deliberately fictional example and you can transpose it onto something more vital than a character desc; ideally, unless you’ve reason to be concerned about the quality of character descs on your game, I think it’s generally worth risking the occasional typo or Mary-Sueishness or minor quibbles over taste, and letting players have the creative freedom to do what makes them happy and fuck up from time to time. If it’s not utterly game-breaking or community ruining, then whatever.
One size doesn’t fit all. Sometimes you need to test the waters and figure out as you go what kind of community you’re dealing with, and what management style’s best suited for it.
I agree with @Roadspike’s commentary about missing stairs. This helps preserve joy. Let’s say you have a community where adult language is allowed, and you don’t have rules against sex jokes. Occasionally someone cracks a sex joke, and it’s funny, and people laugh; joy is up. One weirdo shows up and starts making the kinds of inappropriate sex jokes that make everyone uncomfortable instead. The difference is subtle, but felt. You may choose to let the occasional incidence of bad actors ruin what’s until now been a fun and relaxed atmosphere for everyone, and say that sex jokes are now against the rules, all comments must be PG. Or you address the missing stairs, the one person who’s calling every woman they talk to a bitch/cunt, and go back to the relaxed approach where people can otherwise laugh, joke around, and lovingly call their friends rude names without it causing issues.
Briefly, I want to address the topic of “receipts”, because it has been a hot topic of late, and I think it is worth touching on in good faith. I’ve deliberately not brought it up before, because I don’t want my words to be misused by people who mean ill.
Receipts are good. Keep receipts. Share receipts. Ask for receipts. That’s fine. If I hear about a bad actor, I want to know the specifics of what they’ve done that’s bad, not because I disbelieve you, but because that information can help me further protect myself and others. For example, there’s a thread about Breccan. Prior to reading it and some of the receipts @kalakh posted, the stories I’d heard about this person made me wonder if it’s someone I’ve dealt with before. When I read the screenshots, I could see that their writing style wasn’t a good fit, and am now less worried about the person I know (even if they still make me uncomfortable enough that I wondered).
Of course, there is a difference between wanting receipts and needing receipts. I don’t need them to believe someone’s been made uncomfortable, especially not if I hear from multiple people that’s the case. I’m not owed receipts when there are a myriad of reasons why they may not be available, or not available to me. And if I’m not a member of staff, and it’s not my job to handle and review the complaint, then I definitely don’t need them to just be a good community member and offer empathy. If I hear that Alex is pursuing Charlie and making them uncomfortable, then it doesn’t really matter how well I know either party, or what I know about the situation; I’m going to tell Alex to fuck off if I see them asking after Charlie. (With varying degrees of respect, depending on the discernible extent.)
Nice is different than good. Wherever possible, we should try to be nice. We should avoid personal attacks. We should address each other respectfully. But I’m personally not interested in respectability politics, or in tolerating intolerance. We’re not obligated to be polite to those looking to abuse civil standards.
Tell people to fuck off, loudly, clearly and firmly, if they choose to actively engage in fuckery. Don’t let others run circles around your moral standards. I was recently on a game where a very obvious troll showed up and started breaking systems in ways that a newbie simply wouldn’t know how to, while endlessly asking questions on the newbie channel. A friend of mine chose to engage them in good faith, was unfailingly polite, and answered all their questions as best as possible. I told them not to; the “newbie” was clearly, and wilfully wasting their time. My friend said, ‘You’re probably right, but how I respond reflects on me more than it does on them.’ I disagreed; I ignored the newbie, and did not give them the attention and amusement they were there for. Bad faith doesn’t deserve good faith in return; don’t reward bad behaviour.
These are my opinions, for all that they happen to be worth.