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    Tributary

    @Tributary

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    Best posts made by Tributary

    • RE: MU Peeves Thread

      Okay, as the game runner in question, I totally want to spill some tea.

      The guy in question contacts me out of the blue on Discord to tell me that he won’t play my game if Cobalt staffs there. I don’t really remember this guy at all, and what’s in our chat history is that he remembers me fondly from Arx before he got banned from there.

      So he’s not going to play my game because of one of my longtime friends, so I’m like, “Okay, cool.”

      He continues to message me that my game will fail because he and all of his friends won’t play because Cobalt bans people, and I’m like, “Nice. I’m enjoying my small game with its awesome community.”

      He ceaselessly insists that the game won’t last more than a month (it’s already lasted years, if in a somewhat dormant state), that I’ve doomed myself by hiring her, that he cannot play because if she sees his IP she’ll ban him as a matter of course, and that he’s just so sad because the game looks great and has such potential but a full third of Ares players simply won’t play a place where Cobalt has a staff bit because she’ll power game.

      So this is how I learned that @Cobalt is like a ward against creepers.

      Also, I asked my players if they wanted to have open sheets, and they were kind of mixed. Not a big deal to them. We’re not very crunchy. But it’s Ares. That’s something I can do in a moment if my game community so desired.

      posted in Rough and Rowdy
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: City of Glass - Discussion

      @Pavel He slut shamed me! And apparently treated other people like crap, too. Because I definitely wasn’t the only one who was having a bad time with him.

      <Chat> Royal says, "Haha.  Banned for telling someone I don't want to engage them.  What sleazy, nasty staff, gross.  Peace out, folks."
      <Chat> Royal says, "And fuck you, Falco."
      <Chat> (Staff) Falconet (@Tez) says, "Okay. Good luck out there."
      

      So like, this is not at all what happened.

      First of all, his character Royal had a roommate who was also a Flowering Fairest, Lucene. And since my character Aubrey is also a Flowering Fairest, Lucene and I were talking about coming up with some backstory, as you do when you’re still pretty new (and the game is too, all fresh and shiny). So anyway, while Lucene’s RL was keeping her from RP, I RPed a bit with Royal.

      And Royal and Aubrey hit it off just fine, and their chemistry was pretty fun, and she slept with him because she’s young and unattached and it’s fun to make bad decisions about fictional men sometimes.

      So then, on Sunday, there was to be a Changeling rave. He was signed up for the event as a +1. And I asked him who his date was. Lucene, he tells me, but she stood him up. I was like, oh, no, I’m sure it’s just her RL eating up her RP time. And he’s like, nah, she blocked me on Discord, too. But I’m not taking it personally.

      And I’m thinking, dude, you should probably be taking that personally. I bet she meant it personally.

      So he asks if Aubrey wants to be his date via pages. And I say, no, but I’d be happy to play with you if you go. And he gripes about it, then says he’s not going to go. It’s like 20+ people and that’s too much for a scene. That’s fine by me. I want to meet new people anyway, and I’m going to brave the big event scene.

      I go. Aubrey flirts with people. She’s generally having a fun time, imbibing and making poor life decisions. She tells Raphael that he is hot, which is objectively true, and he invites her to dance.

      Meanwhile, Royal pages me to let him know that people have been bugging him to attend and that he’s going to capitulate. Mind you, I have not done this. I have been too busy keeping track of the scene to worry about people who are not there. So I’m just like, cool. And he’s like, at least some people are interested in me. And I respond, nah, I just didn’t want to be your date. So he waits awhile, perhaps for me to beg him to show up? And then he shows up as dramatically as possible.

      Mind you, I wasn’t wallflowering for him, and Aubrey and Raphael are flirting. It’s been an hour and a half since the scene started. And when Aubrey sees him, she smiles and winks. And Royal snubs her ICly. So she cuts her losses and goes to enjoy Raphael’s company.

      And Royal pages me, annoyed that I’m RPing with someone else. And I’m like, whatever dude! And then he sends me half a dozen sour grapes pages, none of which I reply to. I don’t beg him to come back. I just keep on enjoying myself.

      And then, after no reply to his sour grapes, the scene too big, big scenes no fun, etc, he pages me to let me know that Royal won’t be pursuing anything with Aubrey. I say, okay, cool, I didn’t want to rush into anything. And then he tells me that he wishes me the best. And I remind him that I’m good with it, especially because he ICly snubbed her.

      At which point he was like, he snubbed her because she was with another man! And I’m like, cool, sounds like girl dodged a bullet IC.

      At which point he tells me that he’s not being unreasonable, he’s just being polite, and he’s sorry if it upsets me.

      Now nothing I’ve said has indicated that I was upset. But I also said nothing that he wanted to hear. And I also took advantage of the ease with which Ares allows me to turn over logs of pages to staffers.

      Next thing I know, our boy is banned! Thank you, staff!

      A few hours later that evening, I get a Discord PM out of nowhere from someone I used to play Ithir with years ago. She says she’s his girlfriend and that he was super upset about being banned from CoG because he told me no to a relationship. (The relationship that I’d made a point of clearly stating I didn’t want earlier. I note). He also assumed I was a staff alt, even though I’ve got my character linked to my Ares handle. He literally told his girlfriend that he’d been banned because I felt I was entitled to Royal pursuing Aubrey IC. Which is bonkers.

      The girlfriend also said that none of this sounded like me, and she sounded perplexed.

      Not that I appreciated her contacting me, but she didn’t really defend him, to give her credit. I assured her that it was about nothing that happened IC and that I am not staff on CoG and that it wasn’t my decision. This is all true.

      But damn, it was weird. And dramatic. So there’s the tea.

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: City of Glass - Discussion

      @Snackness So I was curious about some of the time stamps, and it starts spinning hilarious. Me all not looking for a relationship. Me not being clingy or pushy. Me treating it all casual. Him insisting he won’t go to the event. Him informing me that it’s just not his thing. Him ‘relenting’ to the alleged torrent of pages inviting him. Me oblivious because I haven’t said anything to him for over an hour.

      268. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:26pm] Royal says, "Would you be looking for a rave date? "
      269. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:33pm] Aubrey says, "Nah, but if we end up at the rave together, fun."
      270. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:35pm] Royal says, "Nah?  Mm.  Alright."
      271. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:36pm] Aubrey says, "I mean, we're having a good time, sure."
      272. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:37pm] Royal says, "But?  😛"
      273. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:41pm] Aubrey says, "I don't think we've established any sort of relationship..."
      274. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:41pm] Aubrey says, "Well. Pending relationship. That's established."
      275. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:41pm] Aubrey says, "But it's all brand new!"
      276. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:41pm] Royal says, "Ah.  "
      277. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:42pm] Aubrey says, "I think we ICly need time to figure out where we want to go."
      278. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:43pm] Royal says, "No worries, didn't mean to seem pushy.  Whatever you like!"
      279. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:49pm] Royal hopes you have a blast!  It's definitely gonna be a-buzzin'
      280. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:49pm] Aubrey says, "You're not going?"
      281. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:50pm] Royal says, "Hell no lmao.  It's significantly larger than my preferences, I was only going to attend to hang out with you or Lucene."
      282. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:54pm] Royal says, "I ain't even gonna pretend I got the bandwidth to feign interest in ~20 strangers"
      283. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  3:59pm] Royal says, "Kudos to people who can manage that, but I just completely brain-off when scenes reach a spam threshold."
      284. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  4:42pm] Royal keeps getting invited now through pages.  "Jesus, I get stood up and it's like an echo through the Force."
      285. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  4:44pm] Royal says, "Whatever, fine, I don't have the heart to tell people no when they say they want me lmao.  I'll peek in for a bit, at least.  There's a confessional, I can do a fancy priest outfit."
      286. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  4:53pm] Aubrey says, "Sorry, I was trying to pose in between doing cargo in Star Citizen."
      

      Note: it is approximately 15 minutes later by timestamps when Aubrey tells Raphael that he is hot and they start flirting.

      9 minutes after that, Royal poses in, a day late and a dollar short.

      He then snubs her ICly and starts paging me to complain that I’m RPing with someone else. At that point, I internally debate whether to explain normal human interactions, and how the only healthy response Aubrey could have to being snubbed was to write Royal off completely as an asshole not worth her time, and decide, nah, the player is supposedly an adult and surely this reaction is obvious. Also ain’t nobody got time for that.

      He dropped himself from the scene but was clearly stewing on it, because about 20 minutes after leaving, he started paging me again about how the scene was too big and how he didn’t understand how anyone liked that sort of thing, etc. And I don’t respond. Because I am liking that sort of thing and having a good time.

      And then this:

      304. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  6:35pm] Royal says, "BTW -- nothing personal, but I think I'd prefer Aubrey and Royal not get closer.  I'm feeling a little slighted, tbh.  Not gonna make that your problem, it's mine, but wanted to be frank."
      305. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  6:36pm] Aubrey says, "That's cool. I just didn't want to rush into anything. I'm still feeling out the game, you know?"
      306. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  6:37pm] Royal says, "Totally fair.  But I'm still pretty put off by this whole thing tonight.  Getting invited only to have Aubrey throw herself at Raph was pretty much an instant killer for seeing where they might go."
      307. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  6:37pm] Royal says, "I wish you the best, though!  Like I said, it's my problem, not yours."
      308. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  6:39pm] Aubrey says, "You said you weren't coming, and I just continued the IC interaction. It's not like she's his girlfriend or anything. They had good chemistry. It was fun.  But he also seemed to make a point of snubbing her, so whatever."
      309. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  6:39pm] Royal says, "Yes, he snubbed her because she was with another man."
      310. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  6:40pm] Aubrey says, "Cool. Guess girl dodged a bullet IC, eh?"
      311. [Sun Feb 25, 2024  6:41pm] Royal says, "That's for you to decide!  I don't think I'm being unreasonable.  I'm also trying to be polite about it."
      

      Hoo, boy! Look at me chase him! Look at me demand that IC relationship! Look at me get big mad!

      %% Thank you.  The conversation has been reported to the admins.
      <PM> (to Aubrey) Royal says, "I am genuinely sorry if it upsets you.  It's just not a vibe I'm into.  "
      

      Note: here I am puzzled that he thinks I am upset and also unsure what vibe he is talking about, as I am fairly certain his character has plenty of attention.

      It took me 3 minutes, give or take, to submit the PM log, and then it took @Tez approximately 8 minutes to ban the manipulative asshole.

      I am amused that I was largely oblivious to his manipulation efforts until I went back and looked at them all together with helpful timestamps. Also, don’t creep on me because I will post receipts.

      More thanks to @Faraday for making it so easy to submit PM logs on Ares to admins!

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: MU Peeves Thread

      With the caveat that I am not a doctor, I would like to note that you have already explained your own peeve. You are seeing an actual doctor who is working to get you on medication that will likely treat these symptoms of depression, and you largely need to wait for them to get to the right dosage in your system to help make things better.

      @Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:

      …I’m on new medication, seeing an actual psychologist who is helping me get properly diagnosed…

      … But I know I’ve withdrawn from pretty much, well, everyone, beyond a very small handful of people. It’s hard when I think about the idea of “Hey you should mush, you enjoy that.” But then I just think ‘but what’s the point?’…

      …I’ve thought about leaving the hobby altogether, but I haven’t. I still log in, still look at things, but there’s just no desire. I keep wondering if there’s something wrong with me…

      That’s almost certainly why you’ve withdrawn. Why you wish to have the desire you don’t feel.

      And it might very well come back.

      Or you’ll get to a point where you’re like, “Yeah, there are other things I’m enjoying more and I can choose to leave that hobby behind.”

      But in any case, I wish you the best, and I hope that your doctor finds quick treatment for you so that you can get back to choosing and desiring with clearer thoughts, free from the fog of depression. Because that’s likely what’s wrong with you.

      posted in Rough and Rowdy
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent

      I am so exhausted I want to cry.

      My spouse has insomnia regularly. And since paramedics shattered his shoulder 10 months ago, he is in constant sporadic pain. It is so so hard to sleep next to someone who keeps twitching and murmuring, especially when you know they’re taking comfort from your presence.

      But I woke up an hour before my alarm and I have a headache already from the stress and I have to go to work and I’m so tired from his restlessness. I want a hug. 😞

      posted in No Escape from Reality
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Staff Capacity

      I am/was/will be running a small supernatural urban fantasy game in FS3 that is explicitly not WoD.

      And one of the problems I had was people coming in with expectations that they were going to get to play WoD characters that they’d dreamt up for WoD games that didn’t exist. People who didn’t understand that I didn’t want to learn WoD because I’m not running a WoD game.

      We also have the issue of all staffers being cripplingly ADHD, which means that the game owner disappears without response at times because he can’t plan his time well enough to allot for GMing. (And also, RL has been cruel over the last 5 months in particular.)

      We almost drowned in an influx of players at one point, and I shut down chargen for awhile.

      See, it’s a little like wedding invites. Not everyone you invite shows. Not everyone who doesn’t show RSVPs properly. So because not everyone you invite plays, you invite more than you figure will actually play. This isn’t a problem unless they all show up to play.

      What I ended up doing was empowering a bunch of players to tell any story they liked, so long as it was documented somewhere. And since it’s Ares, I let them all have permission to see backgrounds with the caveat that I trusted them not to look at things they shouldn’t or didn’t want to know.

      Treat backgrounds like they have spoiler tags. The information’s there, but you don’t need it, so you don’t look.

      Anyway, I’m going to go take a nap. I’m exhausted. You’re exhausted. We’re all fucking exhausted.

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Neitherlands

      I feel like any player who cannot seem to treat people with kindness and respect on their own game is unlikely to treat people with kindness and respect on my game.

      As such, she’s been “disinvited” from Under the Stars. I sent her a very polite note indicating that we did not feel that she was right for our collaborative environment, and I have heard nothing from her since.

      I have noticed a certain amount of new players joining us who had concerns about her presence. She has been unapproved, and if she makes herself a nuisance, she will be Gone. Not ‘dead’, just gone. I have no need to be petty and spiteful. I do not care to be vindictive.

      posted in Rough and Rowdy
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Royal Paynes

      @Meg said in City of Glass - Discussion:

      nothing in that log is new or exciting. fun that you shared! definitely puts me firmly in the camp of ‘guy was bad vibes’. but man, it’s so tiring all these gross guys behave the same way.

      I shared largely because I feel like reading their script has value. If you know the sort of keys to look for, you can deconstruct this behavior easily. You can watch him trying to gaslight me like he’s following a textbook on how to gaslight people.

      And it’s very much of interest to me to show people that they are not alone when it comes to being targeted by creepers. He targeted me, and that was a poor choice on his part, and I cut his career at City of Glass quite short with my casual indifference towards his emotional manipulations. Because creepers aren’t targeting just you. They’re casting a wide net as they look for potential victims.

      Also, it’s valuable to report things to staff when things are just starting to get weird. One of the first things I did with this guy was ask @Roz if he was being creepy or if it was just me. She then advised me to use Ares’ pm/report Royal=###/Being creepy. so that staff would have it on record.

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Predators and Roleplaying Communities

      @GF First, you’re not making it about you by sharing this. You’re recognizing that you were also a victim of abusers and manipulators, and there is strength in numbers for victims. It’s harder for an abuser to gaslight you if you have other people telling you that, no, the lights aren’t dimmer when you come in the room.

      Second, you are not to blame for being a victim. You are not the reason you were abused.

      If you look at @Cobalt’s tale, and I do factor into it at the end there, you can see a pattern wherein each abuser made it easier for her to be abused by the next one. That is why people who are victims of abuse tend to stay victims of abuse. Their abusers teach them how to be abused and they don’t realize that there’s any other way. That is why you cannot overcome the idea that your worth in online RP is tied to your sexual availability.

      Your abusers taught you to signal your sexual availability, and other abusers know these signals and take advantage of them. It is not your fault that you have been preyed upon, though. You are never at fault for abuse you have suffered. You should work to break the cycle though, so that you do not suffer more in the future because of this vulnerability.

      In any case, realizing you can break the cycle is a very important first step in actually breaking it. It took 9 years to extricate @Cobalt from her ex-husband, after all.

      (An aside: the ex-husband is the one who made me realize that some men will mansplain to absolutely anyone they find threatening in an effort to puff themselves up.)

      posted in Rough and Rowdy
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Good things in Mushing

      I am running a game right now, and it’s been a fantastic experience. Everyone has been very chill with the idea that we are all adults and sometimes RL makes us do some adulting, however unwillingly.

      Sometimes I feel bad, because I’ve had some rotten luck RL lately, but everyone has been so understanding and kind. My game running partners have also had RL rear its ugly head, and we’ve had player storytellers step up in a big way to keep things rolling. Turns out, if you empower folks to tell stories without a lot of overhead, with a system designed for trust and collaboration, they tend to jump into it enthusiastically.

      And the scenes! A character with a ghost problem has just run with it, and it’s hilarious. The characters are more horrified by human treatment of some mummies rather than the mummies themselves. And everything is just this charming dark humor in the face of the end of the world. I love it all so.

      Makes me feel so good!

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary

    Latest posts made by Tributary

    • RE: MU Peeves Thread

      @Pyrephox said in MU Peeves Thread:

      @GF said in MU Peeves Thread:

      There are so many questions.

      If everyone in the game world is infertile, then what other changes are there? Do people menstruate? How common is sex, and how common is sexual impotence? Do people in this world where only fruit can make babies have a biological urge to have sex? Does the fruit, in addition to making your eggs drop and your wigglies wiggle, act as an aphrodisiac? Are people even sexually dimorphic when not under the effects of the fuck-fruit?

      Oh gosh, this would be so interesting. I would absolutely play a game where humans were basically sex-neutral until they ate a catalyst and suddenly gained sexual organs. Especially if it wasn’t fixed and you couldn’t guarantee which ‘organs’ you would gain with each dose. What’s THAT society look like?

      Have you read The Left Hand of Darkness? It’s a classic, by Ursula Le Guin, and the humans are gender neutral (though they use ‘he’ pronouns) unless they are “in kemmer,” at which point they develop male or female sexual characteristics depending on circumstances.

      The main character is a foreigner, from a human population that does not have any ambisexual phases. His landlady, to whom he tends to ascribe feminine characteristics based on his behavior, says on the subject of children something like, “Sired six, bore none,” and seems a little resigned about that. It’s news when the king gets pregnant, though he’s sired children before. And so on.

      posted in Rough and Rowdy
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: [BeipMU] Removing pose order spam from Ares games.

      @Tez For regex, [ is a control character, a symbol with meaning to the language, and < is not. So you have to escape [ with \[ while you do not need to do so with <. The \ lets regex know to use the literal [.

      So this works if the channels look like <Chat> but not if they look like [Chat].

      Just like in MUX you needed to escape % because it was a control character (think %r) but you don’t need to do so in Ares or Evennia because those code bases do not use % as a control character, even though they both recognize %r as special. For Evennia, things are escaped with |. I’m not sure about Ares.

      posted in Helping Hands
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Stupid Memes

      I thought it was a baseball on a little display stand.

      posted in No Escape from Reality
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent

      I am so exhausted I want to cry.

      My spouse has insomnia regularly. And since paramedics shattered his shoulder 10 months ago, he is in constant sporadic pain. It is so so hard to sleep next to someone who keeps twitching and murmuring, especially when you know they’re taking comfort from your presence.

      But I woke up an hour before my alarm and I have a headache already from the stress and I have to go to work and I’m so tired from his restlessness. I want a hug. 😞

      posted in No Escape from Reality
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: City of Glass - Discussion

      @catzilla said in City of Glass - Discussion:

      In spite of the few OOC creepies on the server…

      Fewer now!

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Royal Paynes

      @RedJellyBean Ah, interesting! So that part wasn’t a lie. And yeah, Lucene was originally his date, and she “ditched him” by blocking him on Discord and fleeing.

      He did use Mind to read Aubrey’s thoughts, yes. Does that sound about right?

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Royal Paynes

      @Meg I’m not sure you came off that way, but I wanted to write that stuff out explicitly. Sort of to confirm how right you are. Like, this is what they do, this is their script, but there are options and there will be repercussions for them.

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: Royal Paynes

      @Meg said in City of Glass - Discussion:

      nothing in that log is new or exciting. fun that you shared! definitely puts me firmly in the camp of ‘guy was bad vibes’. but man, it’s so tiring all these gross guys behave the same way.

      I shared largely because I feel like reading their script has value. If you know the sort of keys to look for, you can deconstruct this behavior easily. You can watch him trying to gaslight me like he’s following a textbook on how to gaslight people.

      And it’s very much of interest to me to show people that they are not alone when it comes to being targeted by creepers. He targeted me, and that was a poor choice on his part, and I cut his career at City of Glass quite short with my casual indifference towards his emotional manipulations. Because creepers aren’t targeting just you. They’re casting a wide net as they look for potential victims.

      Also, it’s valuable to report things to staff when things are just starting to get weird. One of the first things I did with this guy was ask @Roz if he was being creepy or if it was just me. She then advised me to use Ares’ pm/report Royal=###/Being creepy. so that staff would have it on record.

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: City of Glass - Discussion

      @Apos said in City of Glass - Discussion:

      I’m feeling a little slighted, tbh.
      I’m still pretty put off by this whole thing tonight.

      I… had to check again to see what I’d posted because for a moment I thought you were actually quoting him.

      You may recall that I put in my original post that an old mu friend of mine (from Ithir) messaged me on Discord saying that her boyfriend had been banned from CoG and that she was puzzled because none of the behavior he attributed to me was part of her experience with me (like 5 years ago!).

      Here’s what he told me:

      Shamash — Today at 18:10
      fucking gross
      I actually feel, like, vaguely violated.
      This is new.

      Shamash — Today at 18:13
      I told a player on that game I didn’t want our PCs to continue seeing one another because said PC was also seeing other men. I was not rude. I didn’t slut-shame. I literally just said “I wish you the best, but it’s not my vibe, I’m genuinely sorry if it upsets you.”
      I got banned for “bad vibes”.
      I was punished, by what I must now assume is a staff alt, for telling them no to a relationship

      Shamash — Today at 18:15
      I could get a ban for bad behavior. But damn, this is just gross

      Shamash — Today at 20:00
      It’s just so angering. The idea I was punished for not giving someone what they want.
      Like they were entitled to me pursuing them IC.
      ugh. Hour later and it’s still rubbing me wrong. Like grease on my skin.

      (Timestamps hers. Also, girl, find another man. This one is a lying manipulative sack of shit.)

      posted in Game Gab
      TributaryT
      Tributary
    • RE: MU Peeves Thread

      @GF said in MU Peeves Thread:

      Negging.

      This would probably be a huge peeve of mine as well if I weren’t entirely oblivious.

      It ends up amusing me in retrospect when I’m like, “Is that what he was trying to do? Huh.”

      posted in Rough and Rowdy
      TributaryT
      Tributary